[INFJ] How to seduce as an INFJ? - Page 5

How to seduce as an INFJ?

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This is a discussion on How to seduce as an INFJ? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by The Ultimate Square Peg ... But, that's a theory, because...again....I really don't know how to "seduce." and ...

  1. #41
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by The Ultimate Square Peg View Post
    ...
    But, that's a theory, because...again....I really don't know how to "seduce."
    and I was feeling rather stupid for not really knowing....but
    I'm starting to think women don't have to seduce....I think we are just naturally seductive

  2. #42
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I reckon an INFJ must become comfortable with himself, period. It's hard being an INFJ, and attempting to rock that alpha crap. I think when you just love you for who YOU are, it all comes naturally. I'm not sure if I speak for all INFJ males, but there is a uncanny, stupidity that comes out in our personality, almost subconciously - I have found that a lot of people warm to this almost child-like sillyness. You could use that as a tool!

    Best of luck and be yourself! You will attract your best partner upon living to your own ideals
    emerald sea and Shea thanked this post.

  3. #43
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by AbioticPrime View Post
    ;p

    You can probably contribute nicely to this thread. You obviously have something up your sleeve. I've always thought INFJs could work their way into a woman's pants through gazing into the depths of who they are. Everybody wants to be understood. What do you think?
    sometimes the combination of Fe empathy and the way it can make people want to open up about personal topics or problems, ends up forging emotional closeness with others. someone may feel as if you are the only one who deeply understands them or cares, and when this emotional closeness is combined with physical attraction and chemistry, romantic feelings develop. in some cases, physical attraction plays less of a role ~ in demisexuals, emotional connection is a prerequisite to attraction; in those who crave a deep one-on-one connection with others (enneagram instinctual variant sx), feeling close to someone builds/intensifies attraction.

    also, Fe can come off as flirting (and be responded to as such)...when really we show that sort of affection to anyone whose feelings/happiness we care about. that has happened to me, i just cared about the guy's feelings and was nice to him, and it elicited a response as if i were flirting. enneagram instinctual variant (such as sx) is probably a factor in whether this occurs or not, also.

    not sure about the eye contact idea ~ the results can vary. sometimes staring into people's eyes (which i tend to do without thinking, it just comes naturally) makes people feel too probed, if they are private people who don't feel comfortable with the depths of their soul being revealed, and for some reason our stares make people feel that way. (even my dad has complained to me to stop staring into his soul and looking through him, when all i was doing was looking at him like i normally look at people, not knowing it looked so piercing...) also, the intensity of an INFJ gaze can repel some people who are frightened by intensity, such that they avoid much eye contact with you. it really depends on the person - in my experience, some people seem uncomfortable, while others will stare back for a long time. :)

    however if a girl is neutral or mildly attracted towards you, attraction can be built and notched-up by eye gazing...though for an INFJ, this would only work if the girl doesn't find the piercing nature of INFJ stares uncomfortable. i know that i am very attracted to people by their gaze - there are some men who are really attractive just because of the genuine kindness/warmth of their eyes, or the depth/intensity/spark of knowing perception/intellectual brilliance (as long as it's not cold) of their gaze when they are reading someone ~ really don't know how to put the latter into words in any clear way, can only identify it when i see it, and find it difficult to resist.

    Quote Originally Posted by ohnoezitsjoez View Post
    If I may...

    Everyone wants to be understood, sure, but that's a quick way to the friend zone.

    "I feel like you just get me. Oh, I love you like a brother!" *huggles*

    The insanity wolf meme comes to mind.
    hey, don't give up! :) that depends on the girl involved; every girl varies in what she wants in a guy ~ see the answer to Mary Magee below - there are girls who friend-zone before they will date a guy. if you want someone who loves you as you are (that is, she won't stop loving you once the "real" you comes out), you need someone compatible, rather than trying to change who you are to match what you think will attract women (that sort of stuff leads to short-term, unsatisfying relationships, and crushing disappointment). compatibility is the real issue here. all girls are not the same, not even close to the same (if you believe in MBTI or enneagram theory) ~ so there should be skepticism about any generalizations like "what girls want in a guy." there are girls who want a guy just like you, and genuineness, and those girls won't be attracted to a version of you that is revised and styled to attract women.

    compatibility may be difficult to find simply because of comparative rarity of the personality type that is said to be most compatible with INFJ...ENTP. supposedly both INFJs and ENTPs are 2-4% of the population (per the website at this link)...i've only ever met one ENTP in real life, that i know of, and am not sure if i've ever met another INFJ. but that doesn't make it impossible at all - dating websites that sort by MBTI type can help you come in contact with people in your area whose personality is more likely to be compatible with your own. :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Mary Magee View Post
    if it helps....
    I put every guy in my life in the friend zone before I would consider dating them...
    some girls I know do that too...
    I do not think it is a permanent thing
    i do this too!!! ...not willing to date anyone who i don't know fairly well - and trust - as a friend first.

    and it seems that, often, the more seriously someone takes relationships (long-term, not casual), and/or the more concerned they are not to hurt someone's feelings by leading them on, or the relationship not working out and quickly ending in breakup, the more likely they are to want to really get to know the person before romantically committing to them in any way. if a guy wants to date someone like this, joining the girl's "friend zone" is probably the safest place to start. :)
    Last edited by emerald sea; 05-17-2012 at 03:59 AM.
    ohnoezitsjoez, Perspicacious, Coil and 3 others thanked this post.

  4. #44
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by emerald sea View Post
    i do this too!!! ...not willing to date anyone who i don't know fairly well - and trust - as a friend first.

    and it seems that, often, the more seriously someone takes relationships (long-term, not casual), and the more concerned they are not to hurt someone's feelings by the relationship not working out and quickly ending in breakup, the more likely they are to want to really get to know the person before romantically committing to them in any way. if you want to date someone like this, joining the girl's "friend zone" is probably the safest place to start. :)
    I know right!...
    so many girls make the mistake of meeting a guy and getting involved romantically right away...

    how do you know you can make it a relationship if you don't even know if the guy would make a good friend first >.>
    the best relationships start out as friends
    emerald sea, Coil and Shea thanked this post.

  5. #45
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by ohTOMICho View Post
    I use pickup lines I googled on the Internet.
    I can see that working, yes

    but when guys do it it sounds lame

  6. #46
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Establish direct eye contact, make them feel that they are really seen, known and understood. Then they will be putty in your hands ...
    Long, deep conversations about things that matter to an INFJ (emotions, relationships, theories, etc.) also help ...

  7. #47
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Zeev801 View Post
    Establish direct eye contact, make them feel that they are really seen, known and understood. Then they will be putty in your hands ...
    Long, deep conversations about things that matter to an INFJ (emotions, relationships, theories, etc.) also help ...
    if you ever get a chance to talk, which may not be the case...

  8. #48
    INFP - The Idealists

    This thread that doesn't say how to love an INFJ

  9. #49
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Ouch! Just invest some time with us, we're worth it!

  10. #50
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I dunno how I feel about the idea of needing to be friends first.
    Before my relationship there was a period of "getting to know you," courting I guess you could call it, but we both went into it intending for there to be more than just friendship once we established that the other one was sincere, interesting, and also not batshit crazy. I don't consider someone I court a friend, exactly.
    laikta and Shea thanked this post.


 
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