[HollyGolightly]

I find it hard to switch the roles....as I am usually the one people confide in. It's like I know I won't take advantage of someone else when the yopen themselves up and make themselves vulnerable...but I can't be sure that they will do the same. So I tend to keep things to myself. I don't like to ask for help and make myself vulnerable.
This an INFJ thing?

[decided]

Yes, it could be an INFJ thing. I can definitely see myself from a few years ago in that description. Opening up to others does involve some risk that they might hurt you, and I used to bottle things up quite a bit.

But I realised that I was acting really passive-aggressively sometimes, expecting people to know what was going on in my head and / or not asking for what I needed. I now have a few people in my life that I am very open with. I tell them stuff, whether they want to hear it or not, lol.

I wouldn’t say it is just an INFJ thing though. I have an ISFJ friend who is really bad at doing this. I’ve always just told her I was there for her if she needed me, but she has tended to bury things inside her instead of sharing, especially if she was hurting.

This year she has really opened up quite a bit. She admitted to me that she has problems with trust. She shared a lot more of her inner self with me this year, than I have known in the last 15 years! She now has a boyfriend and asks me for advice all the time, and has started calling me her guru, lol. I love seeing her so happy.

[Lucretius]

I don't find it too difficult, unless it is about something that might make them think I am creepy or insane.
I'm pretty open with close friends otherwise...but yeah, I still like to censor some of the material. I have some secrets that are best left concealed from the rest of the world.

[Grey]

Maybe not an INFJ thing; I have this issue, and as far as I can tell, my preferences still score INTJ. Occasionally others will confide in me, but I have to tell them to -- it's as though people are afraid I'll be mean or unsympathetic to their problems. Maybe because I insist on not giving false sympathy.

My issue isn't from feeling vulnerable or being liable to advantage. I hate opening up to others because that usually means I can't figure out an issue myself, and if I do those sorts of things for myself, what else is it that I can't do? I don't want to be dependent or weak.

[Blueguardian]

I only trust a few people with my woes. I also don't tend to have anyone I feel I can tell anything too. While for the most part, bar a few exceptions, I can share everything about myself. It is mitigated between people. What I can share with one person, I cant share with another, even though I can share something with that very same person, that I cant share with the first.
That might be a little confusing in the wording... sorry. There are about 4 people that I trust enough though, to share any significant part of my more private information... whether it be problems, concerns, or joys.

[Cumbersaurus]

I try my best to just not confide in others if I can help it. a lot of the people I know don't even understand the surface me, much less the deeper parts of me. I went through a period last year where I was very open about my feelings and experiences, and I am paying the consequences for it now from all the people who "didn't get it." Frankly, I just don't like talking very much, because it seems like most of the time when I do I will inevitably come off as stupid, bitter, or worst of all, "crazy." D:

[water]

I really am beginning to understand that "this" is perhaps an issue for all Introverted types. For some reason "we are all" very guarded with our thoughts and personal issues. Perhaps, we like our answers to come from within.

For me - I see at as a personal weakness, and hate to ask for advice/help. But, I am quite honored and moved when someone else asks it of me.

My private issues/concerns... I almost look for someone higher in rank than me to ask/or have them hear me. For some reason, I appear to look for the chain-of-command and look for the elder or my equal. (I am sure that at this point, it may be looking as if I were arrogant and I promise I do not mean it in that manner.)


I see life and the people within it, almost of if they were on different steps or ladders to their own happiness/accomplishments. I usually need someone higher up than me because they know where to best have me placing my next foothold. And this does take some time to accomplish because it brings my perfectionist out.

• My husband would be that person for anything within the physical. He is my "how to" guy; with lawn care, cars, any form of object. ( I trust him completely.)
• Next would be my thinking friend, who's logical mind outweights my own by far. (Sometimes, I argue.)
• Lastly, would be my supports and peers, whom can understand my way of thinking and seeing. They continue to make sure I'm staying on the right path. (Guides, hugs, and laugher, serious ponderings.)

[Xenophile]

The only person I am willing to divulge my "inner self" to is my therapist because that's a situation that is removed from the rest of my life. Even in that protected situation I was unable to contain the emotion of the encounter and left somewhat internally broken and exhausted. That experienced convinced me that until I find someone I know I'll be in an intimate relationship with for multiple years I won't be able to confide those parts of myself in anyone else, and will internalize them until the time is right.

[MasterDood]

I actually confide in lots of people now, but only parts of problems. Its kind of funny, but I get different types of advice for different parts of the same problem. Altogether I get a more rounded solution without draining my friends too much, rather than unload on just one person-that has bad results and I used to do it. I have decided to do what Xenophile said, except because I am paying this person and don't feel guilty about telling someone who's job it is to have me confide in them.

[Flamingo Jones]

I absolutely have problems confiding in people. As a matter of fact, I don't anymore, and some of the hardest struggles are withholding the urges to confide when the opportunity arises.