I need your help sorting through some thoughts today. It relates somewhat to the thread entitled, “Do you ever find you can’t understand your own feelings?” My version would be, “Do you ever find you have trouble feeling your own feelings and therefore rely on others to supply the feelings for you?
Let me back up a moment. What I’ve read so far about Fe Cognitive Function squares with what I’ve experienced, and while I see Fe’s positive side about emotional connecting, I not only tune into others’ feelings but often find myself trying to get emotional uplifts through others as well.
Since I’m wired to connect with others and how they are feeling (while having a hard time connecting to my own emotions) I have a strong tendency to attach myself to others, relying on them in order to feel alive. For example, I surprise a friend with a new painting. She smiles, feels gratitude and shows warmth, so that I indirectly feel her pleasure. This then becomes a cycle that becomes MY source of pleasure. This cycle gets so intense (or addictive), that if I no longer have this connection, I feel as if my life is void or on standby. It’s as if my world or existence were funneled through that friend in order to give it meaning. Even though I think I’m moving closer, I’m actually losing myself.
What do you think? Does our Fe Cognitive Function make us as INFJs more vulnerable to co-dendency or are there other factors involved?