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This is a discussion on To continue hurting myself, or to hurt her? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by PlainJane @ Dwyn The Bioluminescent : Unhealthy... ? Ah.. So that tells me, you're unsure on whether ...
@laurie17: well... maybe its their fault partially for not being honest, but she was really ignorant of their dislike even though their body language was so obvious. I wonder whether its the thick skin or the ignorance.
@Dwyn The Bioluminescent: HAHA yes, and I didn't really want us to walk away with a bad aftertaste as well. Well now I am mentally prepared to give up the closeness we used to have, just even remaining as acquaintances is fine. I feel more soothed and at peace now that I talked to everyone here about my problems. That acute pain of disappointment is slowly going away...
I am so proud of you! ^^
-reaches up for a high five, low five, front five, back five and tries for a high seven but doesn't have seven fingers so she stops at the back five- Ah well, c'est la vie!
@Dwyn The Bioluminescent: HAHA!! you're so cute... I don't know whether its an INFJ-thing, but sometimes we do need people to tell us when we should stand up for ourselves ;))
@laurie17: yes! Am glad you understand... I'm slowly walking away step by step. It feels good to spend time in school with friends, not caring about whose toes I might step on, even for a day.
oh my gosh, this is really scary but I just had to update you guys on what's happening.
So I got really stressed worrying about Suzy and company that I fell sick. It was nothing serious, only a bad case of flu.
But I passed the flu bug to her unintentionally, and she had an athletic competition going on at the same time.
Suzy complained to me that she lost the competition by a slight few points, because her condition wasn't very good, due to her being sick.
I'm not sure if its a coincidence, but is this karma at work here?
You did the right thing by distancing yourself from her and I commend you for that but, although she's a bit selfish, it's something out of her control and you shouldn't judge her for it. (This coming from someone who has held both positions (selfless helper and "selfish" helpee) too many times...)
Listen carefully. Stress is the most awful, disgusting, pervasive and deadly aspect of life... if you want to be happy, do all that is in your power to avoid all forms of it and you'll eventually reach that goal.
On the other hand and unless you're masochistic, don't play with fire. I strongly advise you not to take charge of someone else's well-being until you're fully prepared for it. I've recently burned myself and now realize that it would have been more beneficial to err on the safe side for longer. :(
If you ever reach the point at which it's natural for you to genuinely and unconditionally love others, do it. Love is the root of empathy and all of what is good in this world.
Until then, just stay away from all sources of stress and simply avoid being a source of it to others.
Stress is the root of all evil.
Last edited by Lackjester; 11-06-2011 at 10:06 AM.
@harlEqu1n: I remember studying about pressure/stress as one of the qualities in the Dirty Dozen :) sighs yeah I know I should avoid creating trouble for myself, its just that I claim too much responsibility on myself already. I have washed my hands off everything and it feels so good. Our relationship will never be the same again, but at least the burden is long at last lifted from me.