[INFJ] Female compatibility types for INFJ males?

Female compatibility types for INFJ males?

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This is a discussion on Female compatibility types for INFJ males? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Aloha, crazy kids! I'm somewhat curious to find out which types of women are not only attracted to but are ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Female compatibility types for INFJ males?

    Aloha, crazy kids!

    I'm somewhat curious to find out which types of women are not only attracted to but are compatible with INFJ men (in general). I've read several times on these forums of other types of men either seeking or trying to be with INFJ women, but so few mentions of women who seek out and enjoy the company of INFJ men.

    While I'm currently not interested in being involved romantically with anyone, all the relationships I've had in the past were years ago, long before I knew about personality types. While one relationship in particular went exceptionally well, I have no idea what type she was. So when the hopeless romantic in me considers getting back out into the realm of potential SOs, it makes me curious to know more about compatibility and such.

    Profiles suggest that ENTPs are our best fit, though I think those profiles tend to be skewed to male ENTPs with female INFJs (which also seems to be a predominant INFJ-seeking situation on the forums too). I've read posts from several female ENTPs who suggest that we're too introverted, and/or too sensitive for their liking. If that's the case, we're back to square one.

    So, with all that said, here's my questions for you:

    INFJ Guys: Which types (assuming you know) of women have you had the most success with, even if it didn't work out in the end? Which seemed to really be into you?

    Gals of any type: Feel free to post your thoughts as well in regards to how attracted you are to INFJ guys. Do any of you happen to feel as though an INFJ guy would be an ideal match for you? If so, what are the factors for that?

    I realize that INFJs in general can be hard to find or difficult to know or that sort of thing. Guys in particular, not only by the simple math of being so rare, but because society as a whole often forces us to hide, and/or act in ways other than an INFJ (such as using Ti a lot more).

    So a lot of this could be based on theory over personal experience, but that's cool. :o)

    So... thoughts?
    Arctiko, Hokahey, SilentKnight44750 and 2 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    From personal experience.. INTP and ISFP.

    ISFPs are fun.. Deep artistic and totally sensual.. They have Tert Ni so your brain is not so much a mystery to them and they can help you stay grounded.
    They are also serious about relationships. They are "pick you" kind of people who care very deeply.
    Passionate.. and it shows where it matters. They are very loyal and you will always feel considered


    INTP.. Deep and so calming. Gentle soothing subtle affection. Sensuality defined. The INTP lady is the perfect compliment to the INFJ man. Different roads lead to the same place. The INTP has it covered where you lack, and vice versa..
    Never overwhelming. The INTP looks to solve problems while never pointing the finger. "Let's just fix this" She says..
    If you value honesty, Here is a woman who will deliver it straight up..Loyal.. As long as she feels she has a choice.. She will always choose you.
    parallel, Arctiko, Btmangan and 6 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Personally, XNXP is what I find to be the most attracting for myself chemistry wise. Although, I could see myself with another INFJ or an INTJ.

    What I think is the most important however for an INFJ male in respect to a partner. That partner making the INFJ male feel ok to be emotional and to show his emotional side when he has had to hide it and put a facade on it because of society's view of what men should be.
    Collective83, donkeybals and Lost in Oblivion thanked this post.

  4. #4
    ENTP - The Visionaries

    I agree with all your post Humilis Curator, with one exception. Not enfp's. XD

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I don't know any in real life, but from what I have picked up here on the forum I think it would be too much similarity for my taste.
    It's like I would date the male version of myself, which is not really what I am looking for.

    Although, there are few guys that got my attention and these are the ones who have well developed logical side.
    They are mature (some even extremely for their age, which I like), nice, kind, idealistic, have deep emotions and are empathetic, and can be logical at any time. What's not to like here??? :)
    Actually, they are the ones who prefer NT girls, haha, so I can relate to them.

    Many guys here are very calm and I am an adventurous little INFJ so that's also the big factor for me. I would like someone who likes to explore the world and is a little eccentric.

    All guys here are nice and good people, but honestly, most are way too emotional for me. I like balance, which is sooo not fair because I am high on the F scale... -.-'

    Anyway, INFJ guys are great and there are lot of girls out there who would be very happy to be with one of you! ;)
    Arclight, Shield of Light and Hokahey thanked this post.

  6. #6
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Quote Originally Posted by donkeybals View Post
    I agree with all your post Humilis Curator, with one exception. Not enfp's. XD
    Wa-wa-wa-what?

    Wow... no love for the ENFPs???
    viva and donkeybals thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I haven't had much relationship experience - so I'm in the same "theory" boat as you. In terms of chemistry, it's usually kickstarted when I meet xNxPs as well. Basically, anyone who catches me with Ne, I'm hooked. I have had the most success with ENFPs...they're very easy to get along with. Most of the time, I get ExFJ's on my tail. An ENFJ once said to me, "You're so interesting. Every time I think I know you, I find out something new about you." If I'm channeling Fe enough, it appeals to the ESFJs. However, I tend to not be attracted to people with Fe dominant or auxiliary - I've got enough of it myself!

    Personally I think my own best match would be an ENFP or if they're healthy enough and the Te/Fe matches up alright, an ESTJ.

    ENFPs understand me very easily. The mental connection is instant, and the emotional connection comes very easy. However when it comes to more practical matters it seems to slip up a bit. I can be a little shaky when I get with P's though because they can seem a bit flighty and I am always second-guessing their loyalty. ENFPs, though, from my experience, are very loyal once they choose to be. I feel okay to be me without anyone having to tell me...there is a certain feeling when I spend time with a healthy ENFP, like the restraint of myself is lifted. We both poke at each other's quirks because we know we have them and that's okay, because we're our own person. I would think a relationship with an ENFP would work best for me as long as the ENFPs have some grounding in their Te/Si. With the minimum grounding level on both sides, the N-side can run free.

    ESTJs, I could work together well with, as long as their Te isn't over-powering. It's almost effortless if I can be open and honest and not feel judged - and if I can't, that can be solved by simply telling them. I know it's Socionics, but I can agree with a lot of the Relations of Duality says in regards to INFJ/ESTJ. So it's almost like a hit or miss, though, either the Je functions agree or not, and whether both sides are willing to make themselves a little emotionally vulnerable. There needs to be a solid foundation of communication, though, but with a little initiative it is not hard to establish. I feel that both sides must tone down their Je functions a bit in favor of their tertiary and inferior functions. Essentially - it is a relationship of growth, and ease once a steady foundation has been built on both sides.

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Lost in Oblivion View Post
    I haven't had much relationship experience - so I'm in the same "theory" boat as you. In terms of chemistry, it's usually kickstarted when I meet xNxPs as well. Basically, anyone who catches me with Ne, I'm hooked. I have had the most success with ENFPs...they're very easy to get along with. Most of the time, I get ExFJ's on my tail. An ENFJ once said to me, "You're so interesting. Every time I think I know you, I find out something new about you." If I'm channeling Fe enough, it appeals to the ESFJs. However, I tend to not be attracted to people with Fe dominant or auxiliary - I've got enough of it myself!

    Personally I think my own best match would be an ENFP or if they're healthy enough and the Te/Fe matches up alright, an ESTJ.

    ENFPs understand me very easily. The mental connection is instant, and the emotional connection comes very easy. However when it comes to more practical matters it seems to slip up a bit. I can be a little shaky when I get with P's though because they can seem a bit flighty and I am always second-guessing their loyalty. ENFPs, though, from my experience, are very loyal once they choose to be. I feel okay to be me without anyone having to tell me...there is a certain feeling when I spend time with a healthy ENFP, like the restraint of myself is lifted. We both poke at each other's quirks because we know we have them and that's okay, because we're our own person. I would think a relationship with an ENFP would work best for me as long as the ENFPs have some grounding in their Te/Si. With the minimum grounding level on both sides, the N-side can run free.

    ESTJs, I could work together well with, as long as their Te isn't over-powering. It's almost effortless if I can be open and honest and not feel judged - and if I can't, that can be solved by simply telling them. I know it's Socionics, but I can agree with a lot of the Relations of Duality says in regards to INFJ/ESTJ. So it's almost like a hit or miss, though, either the Je functions agree or not, and whether both sides are willing to make themselves a little emotionally vulnerable. There needs to be a solid foundation of communication, though, but with a little initiative it is not hard to establish. I feel that both sides must tone down their Je functions a bit in favor of their tertiary and inferior functions. Essentially - it is a relationship of growth, and ease once a steady foundation has been built on both sides.
    Pretty much what you said. Though, I think I read somewhere where someone said the Socionics infj is actually the infp in Mbti. Estj would be interesting if true.

    Personally, I think any of the NF's could work well with us. It mostly depends on the individual infj though, rather than automatically assuming all individuals of a type could work well with every infj.

    I find myself instantly drawn the enfp's over entps but as you said, they tend to be flighty and the battles with Te/Fe can be pretty hectic. But, The entp's tend to ground me a little better and we work well as a team, where I come up with the ideas and the female entp figures out whether it's realistic or not. though, they can be very abrasive and blunt.

    a problem with female entp's for me is: I have a tendancy in not finding a lot of them attractive initially. I've seen a couple that do it for me but overall, for the type as a whole, it's a struggle.

    Infps and Infjs I think attract me a little more do to them being consider stereotypically feminine and therefore, allows me to feel alittle more masculine even with my well developed Fe. While, The enfp naturally completes me where I fail at and make opening up a whole lot easier. How can a male infj not be attracted to an Enfp:))

    @Kaly : What you said is so true. I think infj males with a more well developed Ti will have better chances at finding relationships, let alone having them work out. Sometimes, you have to blend in with the majority in order to survive or get along( as long as it doesn't go against any absolute morality issues).

    Overall, I think it really depends on the individual Infj, their enneagram type and this:Male Personality Types - Article by Rosalind Baker

    It'll be interesting seeing the other female types weighing in on this. :)
    Kaly thanked this post.

  9. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Quote Originally Posted by Lost in Oblivion View Post

    ENFPs understand me very easily. The mental connection is instant, and the emotional connection comes very easy. However when it comes to more practical matters it seems to slip up a bit. I can be a little shaky when I get with P's though because they can seem a bit flighty and I am always second-guessing their loyalty. ENFPs, though, from my experience, are very loyal once they choose to be. I feel okay to be me without anyone having to tell me...there is a certain feeling when I spend time with a healthy ENFP, like the restraint of myself is lifted. We both poke at each other's quirks because we know we have them and that's okay, because we're our own person. I would think a relationship with an ENFP would work best for me as long as the ENFPs have some grounding in their Te/Si. With the minimum grounding level on both sides, the N-side can run free.

    ESTJs, I could work together well with, as long as their Te isn't over-powering. It's almost effortless if I can be open and honest and not feel judged - and if I can't, that can be solved by simply telling them. I know it's Socionics, but I can agree with a lot of the Relations of Duality says in regards to INFJ/ESTJ. So it's almost like a hit or miss, though, either the Je functions agree or not, and whether both sides are willing to make themselves a little emotionally vulnerable. There needs to be a solid foundation of communication, though, but with a little initiative it is not hard to establish. I feel that both sides must tone down their Je functions a bit in favor of their tertiary and inferior functions. Essentially - it is a relationship of growth, and ease once a steady foundation has been built on both sides.
    Maturity is one thing that I believe is key for an ENFP to succeed in a relationship. If you had bad experiences with an ENFP before that were bad please don't judge all of them like that. I love to think I am the exception to that rule with paid bills, good grades, a fully taken care of care, and enough planned consistency to maintain a comfortable life.

    I can tell that I know a handful of mature ENFPs that would fit that description. In fact, I would describe me as incredibly loyal and caring with no question as to whether or not I will disappear.

    The only reason my one relationship with an INFJ ended was because I was heading off to college. She told me that she didn't want me to be thinking of her through out the summer and first semester of school. Oddly enough, if any other girl told me that I'd call BS but for her I really trusted her judgement even though it hurt a ton.

    I found another INFJ recently, but we're both in relationships. Friendship is honestly where I want it to go. We both admitted to how nice it is to have someone get "us" even if our significant others struggle with it.
    Btmangan, Shield of Light and HarpFluffy thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by GoodOldDreamer View Post
    but so few mentions of women who seek out and enjoy the company of INFJ men.
    They generally don't. :)


    In a few of my posts in the past, I talked about viable types for INFJ men.

    Here they are:

    INFJ - Probably the best match for an INFJ guy, most INFJ women wouldn't want an INFJ guy though. You're better off going for ones that don't know about MBTI, and hopefully they wont be creeped out by the similarities.

    INFP - I think this works for a time. Both sides should eventually drive each other insane.

    ISFP - I also think this is a temporary one. The INFJ is not likely to feel "fulfilled". Plus, conversations can be monotonous if you're not having fun together. Don't expect the ISFP to value what you do, they're fairly chaotic and believe what they want to at any given moment. Wreaks havoc in the long-term on a relationship.

    ENFJ - It's a possibility. ENFJ women can like introverts, but personal experience they seem to prefer S-types... INFJ men tend to be too haphazard about their appearance, and ENFJ women notice.

    INTP - Possibly, I've never met a female one, so I honestly can't comment.

    INTJ - I think this is a viable option for the long-term.

    ENFP - I think the right sort of ENFP can work with the right sort of INFJ. It could persist over the long-term.

    ISFJ - I like to think this one is possible, but I suspect there is not natural personality attraction between the types... in fact, I would say it's the opposite. If an INFJ and ISFJ get past the apparent surface conflicts of their personality, they're likely to do very well together. But then it does depend on the maturity of both types, as it always depends on that.


 
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