[INFJ] Sensitivity

Sensitivity

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This is a discussion on Sensitivity within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; INFJ's are said to be very sensitive. I know that I am. How do you guys feel about this? Do ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Sensitivity

    INFJ's are said to be very sensitive. I know that I am.

    How do you guys feel about this?

    Do you think of yourself as sensitive, find yourself to be of average sensitivity, or do you think you are average but most people are insensitive?
    Do you think of sensitivity as a strength or weakness?
    Do you think you have been treated differently or misunderstood due to your sensitivities?
    LookingGlass, Paulie, Lady Nurture and 1 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I was very sensitive, overly sensitive, I'm making a change.

    As I said I am very sensitive, and though it is a strength when it isn't controlled it is a weakness.

    I have been misunderstood, but no I have never been treated differently, which makes it worse.

    It is fine even good to be sensitive if you can control it.
    Lost in Oblivion and Jamie.Ether thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I would consider myself compassionate and sensitive to criticism though self-criticism I need in order to work on my own constructs and myself as a whole. As far as becoming wrapped up or too emotionally invested in someone else, the concern is quickly balanced out by action. That's what my sensitivity is: bold and directly followed by action. It is more driven by compassion than anything else though usually, when people go off on their own and live their lives how they choose, there is a sense or feeling of loss but I return back to myself. I would say sensitivity can have its strengths because it grants us occasions in which to be deeply connected to others and focus on those human similarities that can draw us closer. However, I dislike outbursts of emotion which can cause disruption and may easily detract from a solution (or even from figuring out a clear cause) so sensitivity is a weakness if the person is not able to think clearly about the next move. However, I'm referring to emotional extremes which I was easily perplexed by as a child; I would become anxious and be moved to tears mainly by the violence of emotions rather than the emotions themselves.
    Now, I'm more contained about my sensitivity and hold my tongue; eventually I know it'll subside and I can return to my tasks.
    In other words, a strength if one can define it well and keep it within moderation and a weakness if it leads to a disruption so large (this can be subjective; what I consider to be unnecessary or out of place another may see as a small outburst) that one cannot think clearly about what to do next.
    It is all a part of being human and leads to self-discovery; it is also the reason why dynamics may break down, so again it all comes down to self-awareness and how best to define sensitivity for oneself.
    Paulie and Jamie.Ether thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I oscillate between very sensitive and cold and not sensitive at all. In the times that I am cold I know my J goes off, I become very judgmental of others and critical of things in general.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I think Osho put it best when it comes to sensitivity:




    I am immensely sensitive. There is strength in sensitivity... to feel for others, to have compassion, to feel remorse of conscience... the world needs sensitive people, people in touch with the depths of their emotional life who can help the world to have a functional heart again.

    The downside to it is that when you are hurt, you are HURT. It's not a normal hurt, but you feel devastated. I have a lot of control though, mainly due to being impersonal. But when I let some in, and I am hurt, then my sensitivity really takes over and I feel horrible. And, we all know the stereotypes, a male is not supposed to be "sensitive", it's seen as a weakness. I mask it well, but I feel a lot.
    Navis Amoris, Jwing24, cosmia and 5 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I'm an HSP (highly sensitive person) and another guy who got the impression from others that sensitivity was a bad quality for a male and a sign of weakness. For some reason I come off as emotionless to most people, so I avoided much criticism, but when people could detect my sensitivity, they would often think less of me as a person.

    Despite this, the best moments in my life have been when I've been most sensitive. When I feel drained from being exposed to too much external stimulus, I run low on emotional energy and life just doesn't seem as good. When I'm at my most sensitive, positive thoughts become amazingly powerful. A desire to succeed becomes a completely focused and productive motivation to work. An interaction with a friend becomes an unforgettable bonding moment. Listening to a song that makes me happy becomes pure ecstasy.

    Negative thoughts when I'm most sensitive are very painful, but I doubt I can just tell myself, "be less sensitive right now," because it's such a significant part of my core personality. In emotionally difficult situations, I find that when I have some detached logical reasoning I can prevent myself from being overrun with irrational and destructive thoughts that come with negative feelings. Even in these tough times, it's still possible to manage.

    For me, sensitivity is much more of a blessing than a curse.
    Shaun of Leeds, MoonLight, Paulie and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I'm aware of other people being sensitive.

    I might be sensitive about some things, and completely insensitive about others.

    People being hurt by mindless violence, whether man-made or from nature disturbs me greatly. I saw something terrible on the news the other day and I had to run to the bathroom because I started crying out loud. I was actually kind of pissed the news even showed something that terrible, they need to set standards of media decency.

    No, I don't want to see a disabled man getting beat to death by police in a parking lot, and then finding out he died from the clubbing after he was tazered. -.- I can't take that kind of stuff.

    Another one was they were going to show a mass execution done by the Talaban, but I made sure to turn the channel.

    Then there was the Japan tsunami. I had the worst dream ever about that one. I was there when it happened, standing on the hill with the other survivors, watching their city crunch apart, house by house as children and people around me balled. :(

    Murdering endless amounts of people in video games doesn't bother me because it's not real, when it becomes real, it affects me deeply. I've suppressed this compassion most of my life. I remember working to suppress it in childhood because I was being taught it was weak behavior. After reestablishing my connection with God, this compassion just flows out of me now.
    Jamie.Ether and Meow thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Do you think of yourself as sensitive, find yourself to be of average sensitivity, or do you think you are average but most people are insensitive?

    I'm very sensitive, especially as a male in this oh-so-macho world we live in. I love deeply, and when I'm hurt, I hurt deeply. I'm probably overly sensitive at times, but honestly, I find that many people are overly insensitive as well. I hope I can be something of a counterbalance to that. I've been told that I can be very intense, both when in love, and when hurt. That doesn't mean I don't have my faults and that I can't be insensitive at times to others, but generally, what you give is what you get. I'm more insensitive to those who are insensitive towards me. Being sensitive to them only gets me more hurt in the end. -_-

    Do you think of sensitivity as a strength or weakness?

    Despite what society would have you believe, I find sensitivity to be a strength, especially in males. The only reason it's viewed as a weakness is because there are a bunch of insensitive jerks running around declaring it to be so, and making the rest of us deal with it in ways that seem counter-productive. :oP

    It's far, far easier for women to at least be seen as sensitive, even when they're really not. It's more acceptable for whatever reason. It's much more difficult for a guy like me to be seen as ... well, "macho" for lack of a better term. But I believe the world would be a far better place if guys in general were less cave men and more gentle men. (And I mean actually gentle in their manliness, not being a gentleman to keep up appearances.)

    Do you think you have been treated differently or misunderstood due to your sensitivities?

    Yes. I'm an INFJ and a type 9 to boot. Put either of those together with being a male, and that's a recipe for being misunderstood. Put them both together, and it's only here on these forums that anyone will likely ever be able to really "get" me in a tangible way. :oP I'm a hopeless romantic, a gentle and kind soul, and I honestly can't hide it from anyone I'm even remotely close to. Hell, I only try to hide it from the general public just because as a guy, it's not expected of me to be this way. -_-
    Jamie.Ether thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by GoodOldDreamer View Post
    I'm probably overly sensitive at times, but honestly, I find that many people are overly insensitive as well. I hope I can be something of a counterbalance to that. -
    ...

    It's far, far easier for women to at least be seen as sensitive, even when they're really not. It's more acceptable for whatever reason. It's much more difficult for a guy like me to be seen as ... well, "macho" for lack of a better term. But I believe the world would be a far better place if guys in general were less cave men and more gentle men. (And I mean actually gentle in their manliness, not being a gentleman to keep up appearances.)


    -
    I definitely can relate to that first part. I feel I can bring balance by being so sensitive since so many people are insensitive. But I do feel like they have the easier part.

    I don't know if it's necessarily easier for women to be sensitive. It is better accepted, I agree But easy? No. I feel like in some ways it's harder for women to be sensitive, since we can be seen as the weaker sex anyway. If men were all protective and women all sensitive, things would be easier. But being a sensitive women in a world full of men who want to be aggressive, is a scary thing to do. It makes us vulnerable, and when there are men around who take advantage of the situation rather than being supportive, it's quiet unsettling and a dangerous place for a woman to be.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I guess this makes me the first INFJ who isn't sensitive.

    I'm usually rather brash. Of course, there's a time to be sensitive, so if a friend is confiding in me or something I'm not going to be retarded to them or whatever.

    My general mask-personality includes being forward, and often includes acting insensitive for comic value.
    luzluna thanked this post.


 
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