[Jawz]

I recently posted the same thread in the ENFJ section and realized that all of us seem to have very similar tendencies when it comes to viewing relics of the past.

Another member made a comment that it just might be an xNFx thing. I wanna see if there are subtle differences - or that all NF's may have the exact same kind of sentimentality or not. Purely subjectively of course.

Below is my original text:

This is something that I've struggled with all of my life --- everytime I go through a life altering change [and I've gone through many], I have the urge to do something "one last time" ... almost everything I do seems to have an extreme significance for me and depending on how that "last" time goes, I either walk away from it feeling refreshed, or with a longing for it. Though if things don't go according to plan or expectation, I'm usually able to move on relatively quickly.

Right now, I'm leaving my home country probably for good this time so I have a weird urge to try everything at least once ... even something as insignificant as showering in my bath-tub .. or walking down the stairs to the car ... very insignificant things hold extreme importance to me [but not to the point of superstition] Of course ... meeting some special people one last time is of the utmost importance - though I'm able to fight the urge this time as I don't have many meaningful relationships to be sentimental about.

Can other ENFJ's relate to this? Is it even related to MBTI? The reason why I ask this is because I can't seem to find other people to share my enthusiasm for the "one last time" experience quite the way I do.

Intuitively, my guess is that there might be very subtle differences b/w INFJ's and ENFJ's ... and I'm trying to pick up on those. Thanks ...

[Elinor Dashwood]

Oh, man, Jawzy, when I am done, I am DONE. In fact, I've usually emotionally checked out even before the nominal ending of something.

My dad, whom I tentatively think of as ISFJ, really loves the "one last thing" ritual, and rituals in general, and is a very nostalgic person.

[vagus]

I'm horrible at placing sentimental value towards objects, places, people of the past. During change my mind is fixated on what's to come and not what was. If I could hire a Secretary of Nostalgia I would because it is nice to have those old relics. Memories are wonderful but I'm not good at preserving them in objects or last moments. I just keep moving, don't look back and later cherish flashbacks of the past.

[Elinor Dashwood]

Troisi, I'm just gonna follow you around the threads today, k?

I'm horrible at placing sentimental value towards objects, places, people of the past. During change my mind is fixated on what's to come and not what was.... Memories are wonderful but I'm not good at preserving them in objects or last moments. I just keep moving, don't look back and later cherish flashbacks of the past.

Infinity.

I lost my high school yearbook, didn't see the point of a class ring, have about five photos of my (very short, city hall) wedding, and don't have a wedding or engagement ring. Again, didn't see the point. Whenever an internet quiz or something asks me what I'd save in a fire, I always think... "My husband?" Oh, and my laptop, 'cause it has all my music on there!

[Hastings]

I do enjoy "one last time" moments, at least if it's not made too big (à la 'last night with the gang'). I feel like it brings closure.

[Jawz]

Oh, man, Jawzy, when I am done, I am DONE. In fact, I've usually emotionally checked out even before the nominal ending of something.

My dad, whom I tentatively think of as ISFJ, really loves the "one last thing" ritual, and rituals in general, and is a very nostalgic person.

Nice ... this as as I intuitively expected. INFJ's only sensing function is their weakest.

The only reason why I keep relics is *because* I want them to help me remember. Also, most of the changes in my life were ones that were forced upon me. The changes that I made for myself are repressed and forgotten --- e.g. my 10 year love affair with my ex-wife. If anyone were to go through my things, they'd never know I was even married.

What about events experiences that had positive impact? Don't you even want to keep some parts of those experiences? Journals? Diaries ... yearbooks? Never looked at those and just went "Oh man ... I didn't even remember that happening ... but it was an experience" Hmmm ... I guess I'm talking about experiencing nostalgia once in a while about the good things because I don't *want* to forget them --- because I do.

Edit: I just saw your post about yearbooks and Nostalgia in general ... I can say that that's not me ... interesting. The ENFJ's were much more agreeable and made more sense to me :D

Great :) More responses please. I like seeing the differences.

[vagus]

Infinity.

I lost my high school yearbook, didn't see the point of a class ring, have about five photos of my (very short, city hall) wedding, and don't have a wedding or engagement ring. Again, didn't see the point. Whenever an internet quiz or something asks me what I'd save in a fire, I always think... "My husband?" Oh, and my laptop, 'cause it has all my music on there!

I'm sorry....I'll go to sleep now.

But, same here. My parents wanted to buy me a class ring for high school and I just replied "Nah, keep your money. I thought high school was a joke anyways." My mother wanted to buy pictures from my college graduation and I replied "....eehhh....". I kept putting off ordering them and she eventually did it herself. I also didn't want a ring from my university.

[Elinor Dashwood]

Hmm. Once a year, I go back and read old posts on my blog, and I do love going over my photos rather frequently, but now I'm thinking about it, it's because I view these as artistic expression. I like to see how I wrote about something, and how I photographed things (and I like to spend time editing and organizing my digital photo collection). When I display my photos to other people, rather than wanting them to understand what the event or vacation was like, I tend to secretly want admiration for my photography skills.

Very rarely, I'll re-read papers I wrote in my graduate program to remind myself that I used to be smart! But definitely not to remind myself of grad school in general!

***Lightbulb Moment***

I don't use these things to remind myself of past experiences. I use them to try to puzzle out some sense of who I am. When I look at them, I'm asking, "Is this who I am? Am I a good writer, a good photographer, an intellectual? " It's not nostalgia for times past. It's my ever-shifting sense of identity trying to get a grip on itself.


EDIT: I see that @Troisi is taking advantage of my puerile tendency to laugh at the same joke every time I hear it. Well played, my friend.

[Jawz]

But, same here. My parents wanted to buy me a class ring for high school and I just replied "Nah, keep your money. I thought high school was a joke anyways." My mother wanted to buy pictures from my college graduation and I replied "....eehhh....". I kept putting off ordering them and she eventually did it herself. I also didn't want to a ring from my university.

Hmm .. I had a pretty bad University experience ... so I have no love lost for the 3 years I spent in that hell-hole. I have nothing to remind me of that ---- and I don't even look at my degree --- I got it through mail :) So I guess positive experiences might have something to do with nostalgia and sentimentality?

[PlushWitch]

Oh, man, Jawzy, when I am done, I am DONE. In fact, I've usually emotionally checked out even before the nominal ending of something.

+1

I didn't even care that much about going to college one last time when I dropped out. I only went there because I wanted to know why I failed a certain exam...looking back "one last time" experiences are probably good and helpful. But I don't actively seek them.

What about events experiences that had positive impact? Don't you even want to keep some parts of those experiences? Journals? Diaries ... yearbooks? Never looked at those and just went "Oh man ... I didn't even remember that happening ... but it was an experience" Hmmm ... I guess I'm talking about experiencing nostalgia once in a while about the good things because I don't *want* to forget them --- because I do.

Hmmm...in those cases...I also keep old diaries, yearbooks etc. But not just to remember the good things...but just because it's a part of me and my experience. I also want to be able to remember the bad things - which is why I'm even more fond of the documents that tell about them. For me it's easier to forget the bad things. The important good ones always stay with me.

But for me the latter doesn't have much to do with the "one last time" thing somehow. It's just something that I keep.