[Jasette]

The idea for this was brought up a few days ago.
The notion was received well, so I figured I'd get us started.

Here is a thread for general relationship questions for INFJs! All types may post here. Hopefully, this thread will soon be a repository of knowledge and opinion, for all who stumble across it to examine and learn from.



Examples:
"What pros/cons might there be in a XXXX/INFJ relationship?"
"Which aspects of a XXXX might an INFJ appreciate the most?"
"Here is my personal situation with an INFJ relationship... any tips on how to handle it?"
"Please help me understand... why are you guys so awesome/frustrating/nuts/etc. in relationships?"
...and so forth!

INFJs, feel free to respond and/or post your own advice and personal experience on how to approach and/or care for our ever-complex type. After all, we tend to be quite the romantics...

Thanks, everyone!

[femalegamer]

Because having a centralized thread seems like a great idea, I feel like I need to come up with a question to help encourage it. :)

While I don't expect such a thing to happen yet, what would you say would be signs of an impending proposal from an INFJ? We've been together for around four months, thus my not expecting any such thing for some time, but given that we're already spending so much time together and he has said some very special things, I'm curious as to what things to look for. (And no, ring sizing is not the answer; I'm a junkie for rings to wear in my medieval re-enactment group.)

(re: time together, where a lot = Tuesday, Thursday, Friday evenings, most of Saturday & Sunday minus if he gets called in and family time, chatting online Monday and Wednesday and talking on the phone for fifteen minutes on weekday mornings. For two introverts. Hrm.)

[Hokahey]

Because having a centralized thread seems like a great idea, I feel like I need to come up with a question to help encourage it. :)

While I don't expect such a thing to happen yet, what would you say would be signs of an impending proposal from an INFJ? We've been together for around four months, thus my not expecting any such thing for some time, but given that we're already spending so much time together and he has said some very special things, I'm curious as to what things to look for. (And no, ring sizing is not the answer; I'm a junkie for rings to wear in my medieval re-enactment group.)

(re: time together, where a lot = Tuesday, Thursday, Friday evenings, most of Saturday & Sunday minus if he gets called in and family time, chatting online Monday and Wednesday and talking on the phone for fifteen minutes on weekday mornings. For two introverts. Hrm.)

This isn't "concrete" but I would look for more "staying at home" then going out, less "spending" of money basically, meaning saving up for something else. Just a thought though. :)

[inextricable]

Euhm, I'd say nothing :-)

We can be pretty overwhelming :p

I proposed while he was on the toilet :-), with a writing painted on the door of our toilet (i painted the door black and written in white, and it's still there) :

17-03-2011

A day filled with prime numbers
which you know,
can only be divided by 1
and themselves.

As much as I love prime numbers,
I love you more,
because although my numeric preference
defines me.

You define me more.

And the time has come
to surround our love
with 5 children
present on our
prime number wedding day.
<HIs Name>, I love you with all I am,
all our forgiveness and all our sorrow
for the pain we have shared

But most of all - the joy
we bring every day….

Will you marry me
on that special day,
with our 5 lovely monsters.

Just say "arrr"


Oh, and he didn't see that one coming ;-)

[Hokahey]

Like any relationship, one being with an INFJ as well. Patience, tolerance, communication, and work for any relationship to last.

[daydr3am]

Because having a centralized thread seems like a great idea, I feel like I need to come up with a question to help encourage it. :)

While I don't expect such a thing to happen yet, what would you say would be signs of an impending proposal from an INFJ? We've been together for around four months, thus my not expecting any such thing for some time, but given that we're already spending so much time together and he has said some very special things, I'm curious as to what things to look for. (And no, ring sizing is not the answer; I'm a junkie for rings to wear in my medieval re-enactment group.)

(re: time together, where a lot = Tuesday, Thursday, Friday evenings, most of Saturday & Sunday minus if he gets called in and family time, chatting online Monday and Wednesday and talking on the phone for fifteen minutes on weekday mornings. For two introverts. Hrm.)

If I were going to propose (and I have considered it before), I would ask my partner questions about the future, what they want, what they imagine it'd be like, and see if their answers include me in it/match with what I'd like in the future. Depending on how "strong" the answers are, I'd probably then proceed with the proposal.

[Jasette]

Because having a centralized thread seems like a great idea, I feel like I need to come up with a question to help encourage it. :)

While I don't expect such a thing to happen yet, what would you say would be signs of an impending proposal from an INFJ?

Probably a question better answered by people who have actually proposed in the past - though I did ask someone to go to prom with me once! So I'll answer in case I have anything interesting to say... ;p

Personally, I'd probably act excited for no reason on pretty much a regular basis... because I'd be preemptively happy and thinking about our future together. But then, I also might be very nervous and start reading into things unnecessarily... so in general I might be even more moody than usual because of heightened emotion.

I might also bring up things we could do together far in the future more often, like going on a trip to a different country or even postulating on how I might decorate a house. Bigger things than "oh, we should see that movie when it comes out at Thanksgiving..."

Hmm... also I might want to spend more time with my partner's family? Since I'd be about to permanently make them my family, too.

I'm not sure if any of those things are INFJ specific - just my two cents!

[LiteratureNerd]

As far as proposing goes...knowing me, I'd probably be really, really nervous for a couple weeks while thinking of how to do it. I have to spend some time stuck in my own head, panicking, and over-analyzing all the possible outcomes before doing anything that big.

Though I did blurt out, "Will you marry me?" once after taking a bite of a ridiculously spectacular dinner my boyfriend cooked for me one night. I was not being serious (a couple glasses of Chianti also preceded this), but he seemed to appreciate the compliment to his cooking all the same.

[femalegamer]

I might also bring up things we could do together far in the future more often, like going on a trip to a different country or even postulating on how I might decorate a house. Bigger things than "oh, we should see that movie when it comes out at Thanksgiving..."

Hmm... also I might want to spend more time with my partner's family? Since I'd be about to permanently make them my family, too.

I'm not sure if any of those things are INFJ specific - just my two cents!

So... trying to decide whether to plan a trip to the UK or Italy might be significant? Or that we keep not managing to put together a dinner where I'd be his parents? :)

Unfortunately, the money saving one is pretty well a tough sign to spot; he suddenly had some student loans come up that he thought were settled and is looking for a better paying job to take care of that.

Thank you all for your responses. :)

[Btmangan]

So... trying to decide whether to plan a trip to the UK or Italy might be significant? Or that we keep not managing to put together a dinner where I'd be his parents? :)

Unfortunately, the money saving one is pretty well a tough sign to spot; he suddenly had some student loans come up that he thought were settled and is looking for a better paying job to take care of that.

Thank you all for your responses. :)

Everyone's different and it depends on how you're raised honestly.

But our Fe makes us want to have a proposal be special <3