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The Gently Honest Mistype Revelation Thread

[INFJ] 
309K views 3K replies 454 participants last post by  bpbm 
#1 · (Edited)
Dear everybody,

I know there are a lot of people who think that there are a lot of mistyped INFJs around.

And I don't think it's fair to just think this stuff and drop a remark about "some people" being mistyped from time to time. But NOT tell anybody what you really think. I don't think this benefits anybody.

I want to give you the opportunity to tell people openly that you think they're mistyped. But I want them to have other people around who might tell them that they think the other person was wrong.

RULES:

1. Be gentle and kind with the respective person.

2. If somebody doesn't want to discuss it openly, please stop or take it to PMs.

3. Explain why exactly you think somebody is not an INFJ.

(The fact that I made this thread doesn't make me immune to mistyping, so you can also tell me if you think I'm mistyped.)


Even though there have certainly been a few threads for general discussion about this topic, it's also ok to do so in here if actually nobody wants to reveal anything. :wink:

As I've already mentioned, there's also someone I would like to retype. But not now, since I've got to buy some groceries at 11 pm. ^^
 
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#3 ·
So wait, we are openly calling out people who we think are not INFJs? I think that in itself should be left to PMs...

If we are going to do this, people who are second guessing themselves as an INFJ should just post here and ask...otherwise it almost seems to me that it's more of an issue bugging you and this thread was a way for you to express it. imo ^^
 
#4 ·
i wouldn't mind if someone else believes i am a different type. if anyone thinks i am mistyped let me know here or in a PM. I don't mind outside opinion if one thinks i am different type as long as the reasoning is sound.

Though i am against this calling out thing myself.

Edit: basically what @Lost in Oblivion said
 
#6 ·
Am I the only one that would genuinely not be upset to be called a different four letters? You're not going to change character if someone gives you a different label, you'll still be you. That said, I know that people do get sensitive about this so I wouldn't call people out but if anyone wants to retype me (I've been told I'm an INTJ, INFP And ENTP so far :tongue:) give me a PM or just discuss it here, I don't mind. Probably easier for me here actually! Less typing :happy:
 
#8 ·
You use Ti for sure... And it is important for you for information (that is given) not to be faulty... Which makes total sense to a person with a devoloped Ti; I am with you on this. It is always interesting to see what outsider's percpectives are. I am still open to people correcting me because I hate getting it wrong... You know?
 
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#608 ·
To judge someone based off of a few posts you've seen on an internet forum and to do so in a suspicious/unhelpful manner is actually indicative of the negative traits that can potentially be associated with ISFJ.
whoa, so being suspicious and unhelpful are ISFJ traits... HA HA let me tell you how helpful this post was.
 
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#7 ·
Well I think it is bothering Plush that someone thinks they are an INFJ and are not... If more people start dropping dimes, so to speak, then it will be easier for her to do the same. Sure it might upset some feelings perhaps but I wish someone set me straight... I went a good while thinking that I was an ENFP and would of greatly appreciated someone showing me that I was an ENTP based off of cognitive functions... So plush go ahead and tell whoever what you think... This should be interesting....


***eats popcorn***
 
#9 ·
I don't think @PlushWitch's intention for this thread was for us to start throwing people in the mistyping fire but for people that are interested in a "gentle honest type revelation" or suggestions like @Gildar. Growing self awareness in a harmless way doesn't sound too bad.

I don't think I've put enough of "me" into my posts to be sure of what can be determined but I'd also be open to suggestions:)
 
#11 ·
I think this is a good idea but that it needs to be "revised" just a little bit.
I agree with Elinor Dashwood that it should be more of a requested thing instead of people calling others out. Fact is, people may not want to openly talk about it or even honestly talk about it if they are called out by someone else. But, if they are doubting that they are an INFJ then why not just let them come here and get an honest, gentle assessment by their peers. Or they could do it by PM if that makes them more comfortable.

That being said I wouldn't mind getting an assessment to see what everyone think. I've often doubted whether or not I am an INFJ as I have been typed as a ENFP and a ENFJ before (that and my inexperience with MBTI could have affected my judgment). If it makes things easier I am willing to do this here or by PM.

=D
 
#14 ·
sometimes i've wondered if i'm an ENFJ instead of an INFJ, but when i go into my reclusive "shut out the world for a few days or a week" moods, i stop wondering. :wink:

it can be difficult to know anyone well enough on an online forum to know for sure what their type is, and some people are hurt by having their type questioned, so i'm just going to post my own doubts about my type and move on.
 
#16 ·
sometimes i've wondered if i'm an ENFJ instead of an INFJ, but when i go into my reclusive "shut out the world for a few days or a week" moods, i stop wondering. :wink:

it can be difficult to know anyone well enough on an online forum to know for sure what their type is, and it would make me uncomfortable if someone else questioned my type, so i'll quit talking here.
Yeah, I wondered about the same thing. Sometimes I still wonder if I'm an ENFJ.
 
#17 ·
Ok, it's really late now and I'm tired but I'm still going to try to write something... :crazy:

Thanks for your replies so far.

I'm also a bit cowardly (that's what I'm saying about myself :wink:) about telling other people - who might in fact be grateful for suggestions - that they might be mistyped. Because I might hurt them and they might feel exposed etc...So that's probably why I'm still not telling a certain person...even in this thread... damn... :mellow:

The person I would like to retype is actually someone I've met. And I'm not the only one who thinks that he might actually be an ENFJ. But the fact that we've met might even more so call for a PM...no idea. :unsure:

Another thought:
Some people ask to be re-typed - I did so myself a few times. But to me it seems like it's often really difficult for others to come up with something in such situations. However, with videos it's often a bit easier. And it also seems to me like those who ask for it are often actually not the ones who have been mis-typed. :mellow: :unsure:

But then, there are times when people might just strike you as "not INFJ" or as a particular other type (which was actually not even the case with the person I mentioned... :unsure:). And it might be helpful to tell them. Your perception might still be wrong. But it might also be correct. And if it is indeed correct, it might help the other person if they knew.

But INFJs are often too "considerate" to expose others like this...and they rather let people think they're different from how they really are instead of helping them by telling them the possible truth ...and I can't stand it even though I'm doing it myself sometimes (though not always) and right now. :confused:

But I still think you can do the retyping in a considerate way - which I think INFJs should be capable of if they're capable of considerately hiding their perception about others...^^ :wink:

Argh...too tired...hope it made any sense. :crazy:
 
#22 ·
Ok, it's really late now and I'm tired but I'm still going to try to write something... :crazy:

Thanks for your replies so far.

I'm also a bit cowardly (that's what I'm saying about myself :wink:) about telling other people - who might in fact be grateful for suggestions - that they might be mistyped. Because I might hurt them and they might feel exposed etc...So that's probably why I'm still not telling a certain person...even in this thread... damn... :mellow:

The person I would like to retype is actually someone I've met. And I'm not the only one who thinks that he might actually be an ENFJ. But the fact that we've met might even more so call for a PM...no idea. :unsure:

Another thought:
Some people ask to be re-typed - I did so myself a few times. But to me it seems like it's often really difficult for others to come up with something in such situations. However, with videos it's often a bit easier. And it also seems to me like those who ask for it are often actually not the ones who have been mis-typed. :mellow: :unsure:

But then, there are times when people might just strike you as "not INFJ" or as a particular other type (which was actually not even the case with the person I mentioned... :unsure:). And it might be helpful to tell them. Your perception might still be wrong. But it might also be correct. And if it is indeed correct, it might help the other person if they knew.

But INFJs are often too "considerate" to expose others like this...and they rather let people think they're different from how they really are instead of helping them by telling them the possible truth ...and I can't stand it even though I'm doing it myself sometimes (though not always) and right now. :confused:

But I still think you can do the retyping in a considerate way - which I think INFJs should be capable of if they're capable of considerately hiding their perception about others...^^ :wink:

Argh...too tired...hope it made any sense. :crazy:
I think making a video would be a great idea, it would allow the people on here see how you act etc. The only thing is that some people (including myself) may actually be to shy to make a video and post it (I suppose however that it really wouldn't be any different from posting a picture or something). :blushed::crazy:
 
#19 ·
Sometimes I think I am an ENFJ and then sometimes I think I am an INTJ. Personally, I think I am just a weird INFJ. Don't even get me started on my enneagram, that is just a complete mess of a confusion.

If anyone wants to take a swing at what type they think I might be go for it on the thread if you wish. It could be interesting.
 
#279 ·
Since I saw your video yesterday, I just wanted to say that it might be possible that you're mistyped. But I have no idea what type you'd be. But somebody pointed out that you're probably an INTP because you have too much Ti for an INFJ. No idea if they're right. Also haven't watched the whole thing.

Maybe you want to post your video in here...?



@Leaves
Do you think it's possible that you are an INFP? I just saw your test results on the Socionics test. And while INFPs got an INFj result and INFJs got an INFp result, you got INFj. And the one INFP who actually got INFp didn't seem quite sure about their type anyway. :mellow:
Hope this is somewhat understandible... :laughing:

What do you think?
 
#20 ·
Belated disclaimer:
I didn't mean you shouldn't ask to be retyped in here. Feel free to further do so. :wink:
 
#24 ·
There's a lot of self-assigned attribution of other-wise un-applied INFJ traits in here - and that little to no application of actual INFJ traits that sometimes leaves me scratching my head.

Ni Fe forces me to stop posting right here. But the judgment hat is on.

The kind of things that I thought would be in the INFJ forum aren't here.

And this is a very general criticism --- it's not directed at anyone at all. I know I'm opening up a can of worms here (as I tend to do) --- but what can I say .. I'm outspoken. And people know that. I mean well, so if this hurts someone then it's unintentional

- General lack of discussions about people in general (more about selves)

- Too much shyness and then self-promotion of that shyness. I've seen one person go "I'm too shy" and then a whole bunch of people jump on the bandwagon - when judging though their other posts they're clearly not shy. INFJ's speak less, but when it's something or someone they care about then there's no holding them back. We're not shy. We're introverted. There's a clear difference that many people don't understand.

- Little to no discussions on the global situation, how that makes people feel. It's one of my biggest pains is that I can't be like Mother Theresa ---- I haven't seen much of that in the INFJ forum. I thought *occasionally* people's Fe would force them to post how they feel about the global situation ---- but nothing happens. Other forums have more such discussions than INFJ-land. What stops people? I thought INFJ's would once in a while be inclined to hatch elaborate plans about saving the world. OK we're not all Gandhis or Mandellas ... but damned if I was to share a type with those visionaries, I'd do whatever it took to emulate them.

- There was one thread (I won't mention it here) that gave pretty much everyone away. But I'm not going to mention it.
 
#37 ·
Hmmm... I think I am INFJ. But if you all don't think I am, no hard feelings :)...

Without taking what you say personally @jaws (cause I know what you mean about it not being personal), I wanted to answer one of your questions...

- Little to no discussions on the global situation, how that makes people feel. It's one of my biggest pains is that I can't be like Mother Theresa ---- I haven't seen much of that in the INFJ forum. I thought *occasionally* people's Fe would force them to post how they feel about the global situation ---- but nothing happens. Other forums have more such discussions than INFJ-land. What stops people? I thought INFJ's would once in a while be inclined to hatch elaborate plans about saving the world. OK we're not all Gandhis or Mandellas ... but damned if I was to share a type with those visionaries, I'd do whatever it took to emulate them.
Truly, I spend most of the day every day trying to save the world (and I don't say this to brag or to prove that I am INFJ... maybe I'm not?). I wouldn't mention at all that I feel that this is what I do, but just to say that what I have experienced for the past few years is that trying to change anything about the world exposes me to a lot of conflict. Both generalized conflict between different forces in the world, and interpersonal conflict with new acquaintances who don't share my values and views of the world. And though I am not shy about sharing aspects of my personal life with strangers, I am guarded about sharing my views of the world with strangers, because it hurts too much when other people can't or won't relate to a vision of the world that is important to me.

Somewhat separate from the fear of conflict, a problem for me is that I constantly feel that other kinds of people are better at these 'save the world' projects than I am. And I feel sad and constantly angry at myself for not being more extroverted in saving the world, more of a strategic thinker, less empathetic with bad people, etc. And I end up taking out my own insecurities on the people who are trying to work with me (imagining that their opinions of me are as harsh as my opinions of myself, and being angry at them for judging me so 'harshly'), and I end up not contributing to constructing possibilities for the world nearly as much as I could if I were happy with who I am and with what I can contribute.

Soooo, my presence on this forum, and deciding that I am 'INFJ' is for me a way to see myself as equal to the people and work that I love and to try to believe that I am as capable as anyone of contributing to plans for the future, and equally responsible for thinking through our processes (since irresponsibility for me is mainly a result of feeling inferior and incapable). Because if I am INFJ, then I am not 'less' than they are, but just different, and with different strengths to build and weaknesses to address.

I see working on self and working on saving the world as two sides of the same coin, and maybe they're two sides of the same coin for others as well. That is, I see lack of confidence and self-absorption as the result of more broadly destructive global processes, and I want to change both the processes (the society in which I live) and my self as a fragment of those processes/society. And I have a duty to learn to love myself so that I can contribute in the best way possible to the plans that I come up with with others!

That said, I truly appreciate your threads on critical thinking and the global situation, and am constantly at risk of proselytizing/debating issues on this forum that I am already constantly debating offline. And if you ever feel like talking about the global situation, I am definitely game.
 
#26 · (Edited)
*Looks at the top of the page* Personality Cafe "A Place to Discover Yourself" Hm, well since that's the whole point of this forum I would appreciate it if someone would tell me if they think I've been mistyped. I'd say I'm comfortable with who I am and I've never doubted my type so it really wouldn't upset me if someone thought differently. After reading more about all the different functions I think I have a pretty good grip on them though not as good as some people's. Anyway, with all that being said I am open to other possibilities and have no problem with being dissected :p so long as it's done in a respectful manner.

ukinfj - you're definitely an INFJ ;) After going back in forth in that whole thread with you, I'm 99% certain.

I have no problem discussing global issues, I would just rather not on here as I'm not interested in senseless debating which tends to happen on forums. I know you weren't pointing the finger at anyone, I just thought I'd offer at least one explanation for it and maybe that tends to hold true for other people here as well. I guess that is also what the other forums are for. I think people tend to focus more on themselves in the sub forum designated for their type because that seems to be the whole purpose of them. I could be wrong though. Just a thought.
 
#30 ·
I have no problem discussing global issues, I would just rather not on here as I'm not interested in senseless debating which tends to happen on forums... I guess that is also what the other forums are for. I think people tend to focus more on themselves in the sub forum designated for their type because that seems to be the whole purpose of them.
I agree with this. I've never been sure what good it would do to discuss global issues on this forum, not just because it seems to likely to incite debate that might eventually become unfriendly, but because I do feel strongly about world suffering. Asking questions about myself or my personal experiences here has been illuminating, but the only way I can make myself feel better about world suffering is to actually DO something. And there have been threads that have touched on this topic, though they're not usually under a heading that would indicate that content.

I know I tend to be guilty of talking about general principles or theories in terms of myself or my personal experience, but that's mainly because I don't usually feel qualified to make big statements about people at large. And, to be quite truthful, in real life I don't get much of an opportunity to ask people about my random theories and observations, because I'm usually the one listening to everyone else, and because I don't meet many people in real life who are interested in giving thoughtful responses. My online presence is only a component of my RL personality. So, as others have pointed out, it's difficult to type someone based on their online presence. At best, we can only approximate, or give each other ideas to bounce off of, so that we can better type ourselves.

Excuse me while I have one of my patented Captain Obvious Moments. I just think some things bear repeating in a thread like this. It's been established over and over again, in many places on this forum, that not all members of one type are going to "present" the same way all the time. Type descriptions are only clusters of various generalities. But once we've identified with a type, it's too easy to look at someone else and compare them to ourselves instead of to the type standard (and I don't plead innocent to this). So I think we all need to be careful, when we tell someone we think they're mistyped, that what we're saying isn't really, "You're not like me."

Having said all this, I'll add that part of why I came here in the first place was not because I was dead certain about my type, but because I had a good hunch and was looking to confirm it through study. So if anyone has constructive observations for me, I'm open to hearing them.
 
#45 ·
I appreciate your input...I do not share any of the spontaneity, lack of schedule/planning, and relaxed traits of a perceiving type - I am very structured in my routine and life and love order and planning and a schedule and I feel stressed and guilty when I don't stick to a routine. I don't have a lot of Fi or Ne....so wouldn't that rule out INFP? Also, my brother is soo INFP and we are close and understand one another, but he feels even more overwhelmed by life and looks to me for help to organize etc. But I'm curious to hear your reasons for your observation...and anyone else's impressions. What did you see in the videos that gives you this opinion? I am open to learning about myself and to the chance that I'm mistyped - as well as helping my fellow PerC friends know me better :happy:
 
#35 · (Edited)
Sometimes I wonder if someone is mistyped (not just INFJs but other types as well). However, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt, unless it seems glaringly obvious they are a different type than they think. Usually in that case, multiple people will question their type over time, resulting in them reconsidering. It seems like gentle questioning by friends is the best approach for this conundrum. Otherwise, people might get hurt or offended. The only downside (from my perspective) of people being mistyped is that I assume someone's posts as a particular MBTI type are reflective of that type as a whole to a certain degree. It kind of throws everything off when someone posts a lot as one type then changes to another one.
 
#36 ·
Does anyone think I may have been mistyped? Shy ENFJ perhaps? Or some other type? It won't hurt my feelings, I promise. I am very interested in knowing.

Like you @PlushWitch, I don't really want to call out people that I think are mistyped. There's been a few on here that I really wanted to say something to, but only one to whom I did. Turned out he had considered it himself. So maybe it wouldn't be as bad as you think. Also, there's always asking instead of bringing it out like your pointing the finger.
 
#38 ·
So .. apparently, playing devil's advocate worked - and it got out some of the self-repression that people feel with regards to global issues to come out.

I'm not repressed, nor do I feel myself inclined to be so. Nor do I feel that writing about and speaking up about it achieves nothing. Writing inspires. Discussion spawns education and breeds tolerance.

The only reason why I haven't posted a video of myself yet (and I really want to) is that every time I make a video, within 30seconds of a basic intro, I end up in a lecture about some political issue or global problem or the other or just passing off random generic advice to people.

And I do plan to do something practical to alleviate suffering or die trying. In the meantime, I like discussing it and urge others to do so as well. This was the *main* reason for my last fall out with my real life friends. Because I care too much and I incite others to re-think themselves all the while encouraging them to be tolerant and accepting of opposing points of view.

Look there's no point in finger pointing which is not what I was doing ..

The people who are mistyped generally seem to discover on their own that they are mis-typed and go off to find people they relate to. Those who are not mistyped and like to be part of the group are also welcome here and that much is clear. To understand oneself is the biggest help one can get. And the people who just want to be a part of the group and act like INFJ's are also welcomed and appreciated here - that much is also clear.

The last thing I will say is that I'm very Fe driven, but my Fe doesn't always seek social harmony and complete agreement with everyone about everything. As I've alluded to in the past, I can be arrogant, thick-skinned and hard-headed all rolled into one :)

EDIT: Honestly speaking, almost all INFJ's I would think would be able to accept their responsibility to others more readily than many here. Perhaps IRL we're all very different. But, I just cannot accept any amount of rationalization that an INFJ would allow any amount of apathy to set in. If an INFJ is doing that to himself/herself, then they're actually hurting themselves more than they think - because they're living in a constant state of cognitive dissonance which will manifest itself in other ways.
 
#39 ·
Nor do I feel that writing about and speaking up about it achieves nothing. Writing inspires. Discussion spawns education and breeds tolerance.
Hmmmmm... but it's exhausting and I do it all the time. Sometimes I just want a break in magical, peaceful INFJ-world. Oh well, no rest for the weary :p.
 
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