[Sparky]

I have two sources with different opinions on the ideal match for INFJ. One is from Purdue, which says it's the ENTP or ESTP. The other's from PersonalityPage, which says it's the ENTP or ENFP. I have never thought ESTP as an ideal match for INFJ, but obviously people have different opinions on the matter. From personal experience, I can communicate better with ENTP or ENFP, and I think PersonalityPage did more research on the subject. What do you guys think? Thank you.

Here are the sources:
INFJ Relationships
http://www.purdue.edu/usp/pdfs/mbtiresources/INFJ.pdf

[ForsakenMe]

Hard to say. One INFJ may want an adventuresome ENTP, while the other one wants a sensitive ENFP. Some love the intensity of the ESTP. It all depends on the INFJ.

[ukinfj]

I'm not sure I want to be with extroverts. I hang around with extroverts sometimes but I get tired trying to keep pace. They're fun in small doses :-)

I generally go for outgoing introverts - they take plenty of time on their own allowing me my space, but they are sociable and bouncy. Current bf isn't outgoing but this isn't the most important thing and I can take it or leave it really.

Most important traits:
- Cerebral - intelligent, able to comment on political debate (because I talk about it so much!) not bored by the things I'm interested in - abstract concepts/art/politics.
- Logical but not cruel. Current bf is ISTP and he has just the right balance. I want people to be honest - even brutally so - and this is part of what attracts me to him. I don't like being charmed and I can't deal with any kind of falsity. However, they must be understanding enough not to upset me. My boyfriend's logic is that me upset = bad, even if my feelings don't make sense to him. This means he has more patience with me than other Ts might.
- Commitment and loyalty - I want to know they're here to stay and I want them to make that clear without me ever having to ask. I hate asking that stuff. They don't have to have some kind of five year plan but a person that talks about the future as if we'll both be in it together is enough.
- Wit - they have to make me laugh and I've got a pretty acquired taste when it comes to humour. If they can't make me laugh I'm going to get bored quickly.
- Passion. Even if it's just for computer games. They have to have an interest and they have to get excited about something. Otherwise they seem to plain to me.
- Eccentricism. I recently found out that my boyfriend, when walking down streets alone, puts one of his headphones in his ear and talks softly into his cuff so he can pretend to be a spy. Sometimes he looks at someone across the street and says something in code into his cuff so that the people around him think either a) person across the road is a crim, or b) boyfriend is completely mental. I have never loved anyone as much as I did when he told me that. That is like the perfect description of a person I want to know - that's the kind of person I want to love me. That's the kind of person I want to spend my life with and who I want to father my children - don't ask me why stupid stuff like this means so much to me, I have no idea. But for some reason, it means everything!
- Wants to protect me. Oh how girly. Yes, I want a protector, I want genuine concern for me, I want to feel safe.
- No rules - no societal rules, no pressure, no telling me how I should look or behave. I am me and I'm not changing, not unless what I'm doing goes against my personal moral values (this is the kind of thing that makes me wonder if I'm actually INFP...). But my personal moral values are that I must never do anything that hurts another person. Wearing out of date clothes or not crossing my legs when I sit down hurts no one. So I guess perhaps it's no shallow or illogical rules that have nothing to do with morality.
- No vanity. If a man takes longer in the bathroom than me (and it takes me 5-10 minutes to get ready for a night out) they're gone. If they do anything more than maybe put a fingerful of wax in their hair, I'm not interested. One man once asked me what I thought about his clothes. I never saw him again (Bit cruel of me, really).
- Has opinions! I don't like any wishy-washy anything will suit me stuff. Must have personal tastes in music, film, books (though doesn't necessarily have to have a lot of interest in these things). Must know what they think about issues. Must have conviction - but at the same time not be so stubborn that they become narrow minded. My boyfriend once shot a stranger down in a queue. St George's Day had just been and some guy was moaning that we allow the celebration of things like Eid and so on but we don't celebrate St George's Day (because that would be "politically incorrect"). My boyfriend reminded him that there had been a massive parade in the city that day and if he wanted to celebrate St George's Day so much then why didn't he just attend it. Bear in mind, my boyfriend is even shyer than me. He can't speak to anyone. Not unless it really matters to him - like this does.

[Berdudget]

And there are still other resources that say the "ideal" partner for an INFJ is the ESTJ...I'm sure each hypothesis has its merit, hypothetically. Individually, however, there is no way to predict the ideal partner for a whole group of individuals with shared cognitive functions. I used to wear an empty locket. When people would ask whose picture was in it I'd say "the love of my life is in there." Then they'd ask to take a look, see it was empty and I'd explain "he doesn't exist." Though a part of me holds a torch for some "ideal" partner, I recognize that expecting to find such a person is not in the realms of reality. I am married to an ENTP whom I love deeply, whom I like, whom I'm addicted to, whom I crave physically, who's capable of seeing me, who makes me think, who helps me to grow as a person, who helps me push my own limits, who cares for me, provides for me and is commited to me. He is a good match intellectually and we have chemistry. I believe, however, that the same could be true had I married any number of other types. That's my opinion.

[SynergicAdvent]

Let's see... It all depends on the individuals, and all of that, but here it goes. I'll write only for the ones I'm sure that I've met in real life.

INFJ- Well, it's the same type, so I guess it should work.
INFP- There are many similarities, yet many differences here, so it may work and it may not.
ENFJ- I see this one causing some frustration, since for ENFJs Fe is dominant, which may not be the best for an INFJ.
ENFP- They complement each other, so this is a pretty good one. Same temperament, different applications. This is one of the best ones. Highly recommended.
ESFP- Exciting, but terrible at the same time. Huge communication problems. Not very recommended.
ESFJ- Another Fe dominant... But a guardian, SJ. I honestly wouldn't recommend a guardian for any INFJs.
ESTP- Dating the complete opposite may be exciting, but it'll probably create some problems.
ESTJ- SJ alert.
INTJ- INFJ-INTJ relationship... Hm. It can work. As long as the T-F differences are little, it's good.
ISFP- Hm... Not so sure about this one. I don't see it working wonderfully.
ISTP- It can work, since they have the same functions. A highly-feeling INFJ may not like this, though.
INTP- I would definitely recommend this one, as long as they don't overanalyze each other. If they're both healthy individuals, this is one of the relationships where both are going to mature a lot.

So, order of preference (excluding INFJs):
1. INTP
2. ENFP
3. ENTP

Still, it depends on the individuals.

[Sparky]

Thank you all for the responses. It seems a few tend to hold very idealistic ideas about how any two personality types could get together and make an ideal relationship. Although any successful relationship takes energy, an ideal relationship flows naturally between people with similar interests and communication styles. Most of my close friends tend to be ENTP or ENFP (though I get along with all types), and I find getting along with INTP to also be fairly easy. From this perspective, I tend to agree with Kosmos.

[Hokahey]

I voted other because I don't know who my ideal match is yet. Once I meet her I will test her MBTI and get back to this thread.

[CynicallyNaive]

I voted "other" because i'm trying to bias the poll toward the outcome i want to be true. :D I'm borderline I/E though so i wouldn't mind if ENFPs end up winning.

[RobertVest]

I can't see what INFJs have in common with Ts nor Ps. Cold and unreliable from what I have experienced.. I see many here have favored these two, I can understand T, if its an equal balance between F and T. But P? Why do you guys tend to favor this? I have a friend that is a P and i find it very frustrating when he forget things, comes too late, wear messy clothes, his car and apartment is a mess etc. I love the person within, but how they deal with their surroundings I don't enjoy. How is "P" a good match for us "Js"? please tell me I find it working as a friend, but if it were to be 24/7 I think i would have gone insane

[Sparky]

I can't see what INFJs have in common with Ts nor Ps. Cold and unreliable from what I have experienced.. I see many here have favored these two, I can understand T, if its an equal balance between F and T. But P? Why do you guys tend to favor this? I have a friend that is a P and i find it very frustrating when he forget things, comes too late, wear messy clothes, his car and apartment is a mess etc. I love the person within, but how they deal with their surroundings I don't enjoy. How is "P" a good match for us "Js"? please tell me I find it working as a friend, but if it were to be 24/7 I think i would have gone insane

Good point, but J's match well with P's because if one makes a mess, the other can help clean up. Similarly, if J's get too uptight and serious, P's can help lighten the atmosphere and make things fun.