[Lost in Oblivion]

I am currently in a sort of argument with one of my closest friends, and I'm getting really anxious and I feel like I'm going to explode.



I fell in love with her this past month and a half, and it killed me because she had feelings for my best friend...who I feel I'm losing, since it seems like he doesn't care about me emotionally at all unless I go to him in pieces! This girl cares for me, as an young ESFP she doesn't really seem to know how to, though...

I have to get over her, and I don't know how. My options were to care for her as a best friend, which I've been trying to do but with her Fi she won't let me, especially since she has feelings for MY other best friend!! And my other option is to just doorslam but I don't want to do that because I care for her so much but she won't let me!! I can get over it eventually but she is convinced that I am going to hurt!! I know she cares but hse doesn't know how!!

I'm so torn and I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her but I feel like I am being backed up into the corner where I have no choice but to doorslam!! and if I lose my other best friend I am going to hurt so fucking bad!! these people know every darkest thing about me and please i jsut dont know what to do know i am about to break again and please just someone help i dont know where im going to go if i cant solve this and i dont know how im going to handle it

[Gildar]

I am currently in a sort of argument with one of my closest friends, and I'm getting really anxious and I feel like I'm going to explode.

I fell in love with her this past month and a half, and it killed me because she had feelings for my best friend...who I feel I'm losing, since it seems like he doesn't care about me emotionally at all unless I go to him in pieces! This girl cares for me, as an young ESFP she doesn't really seem to know how to, though...

I have to get over her, and I don't know how. My options were to care for her as a best friend, which I've been trying to do but with her Fi she won't let me, especially since she has feelings for MY other best friend!! And my other option is to just doorslam but I don't want to do that because I care for her so much but she won't let me!! I can get over it eventually but she is convinced that I am going to hurt!! I know she cares but hse doesn't know how!!

I'm so torn and I don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her but I feel like I am being backed up into the corner where I have no choice but to doorslam!! and if I lose my other best friend I am going to hurt so fucking bad!! these people know every darkest thing about me and please i jsut dont know what to do know i am about to break again and please just someone help i dont know where im going to go if i cant solve this and i dont know how im going to handle it

Tell her your feelings. Most likely scenarios are she breaks your heart/friend zone(which will allow you to get over her) or she is willing to date you. I have been in a similar situation it sucks but i decided to do that and got friend zoned. Got over it in less then a week.

[Lost in Oblivion]

Tell her your feelings. Most likely scenarios are she breaks your heart/friend zone(which will allow you to get over her) or she is willing to date you. I have been in a similar situation it sucks but i decided to do that and got friend zoned. Got over it in less then a week.

My hearts already been broken, because she know damn well how i feels!! ive been friend zoned for weeks and both of us know this!! her Fi is preventing me from letting me care for her because she knows that i know she has feelings for my best friend!! and the problem is she knows everything about me, i completely let her in, which was a fucking mistake because it was rushed and its biting me in the ass!! so its like we are very very close friends but i have to doorslam that, but i dont want to, but its like shes giving me no choice!!

[Gildar]

My hearts already been broken, because she know damn well how i feels!! ive been friend zoned for weeks and both of us know this!! her Fi is preventing me from letting me care for her because she knows that i know she has feelings for my best friend!! and the problem is she knows everything about me, i completely let her in, which was a fucking mistake because it was rushed and its biting me in the ass!! so its like we are very very close friends but i have to doorslam that, but i dont want to, but its like shes giving me no choice!!

well then you need to find a way to work over your feelings. That is something i am not good with. She has feelings for your best friend is it fair to criticise her? you cant get over her but you expect her to get over her own? No one is in the wrong here. You need to find a venue to release your feelings and i do hope you are able to find a venue to release your feelings or someone that can help you more.

[Lost in Oblivion]

well then you need to find a way to work over your feelings. That is something i am not good with. She has feelings for your best friend is it fair to criticise her? you cant get over her but you expect her to get over her own? No one is in the wrong here. You need to find a venue to release your feelings and i do hope you are able to find a venue to release your feelings or someone that can help you more.

The problem is she WAS the only venue for my feelings, that's what kills me! I don't trust family - and i have trouble trusting friends with the label of "family" - and she was one of the only people i could completely trust. or did i fool myself into believing that? i'm not expecting she get over her feelings for my friend, i'm just asking she let me care for her as a friend! but like i said she won't let me do that because she doesn't want me to get hurt...i can get over her, i just can't be stuck in between with this!

[Gildar]

The problem is she WAS the only venue for my feelings, that's what kills me! I don't trust family - and i have trouble trusting friends with the label of "family" - and she was one of the only people i could completely trust. or did i fool myself into believing that? i'm not expecting she get over her feelings for my friend, i'm just asking she let me care for her as a friend! but like i said she won't let me do that because she doesn't want me to get hurt...i can get over her, i just can't be stuck in between with this!

writing, drawing, run until you cant run anymore and many other things can be venues for emotional release that dont require another person. I use them a lot. I honestly cant help you anymore then i have. I hope things work out.

[Lost in Oblivion]

writing, drawing, run until you cant run anymore and many other things can be venues for emotional release that dont require another person. I use them a lot. I honestly cant help you anymore then i have. I hope things work out.

fuck...those only go so far. i need to give someone love, that's what it is! it's not destressing...so yes my emotional venue needs another person but there's no one.

she started ignoring me...i think i'm going to have to doorslam and it's going to hurt so bad... :(

[Etherea]

You need to talk to her, openly and honestly. Tell her that you are fine just being friends, and that you're working on getting over her. Tell her you just want to care for her as a friend. As for your other friend, whom she likes, could he be shutting you out in response to your mutual friend liking him?

[bubbleboy]

You have to let yourself not get so caught up in the moment! I know your feelings are overwhelming but just breathe and tell yourself you're alright. Peace of mind. I think you need some time apart from her to regroup. Maybe from your friend too since their involvement is bothering you so much. And I think finding a hobby to put your feelings into is a great idea. It is a way for you to make yourself happy rather than always needing someone else to provide happiness for you. I've picked up poetry and it's helped me so much. When I feel sad or depressed I always repeat this stupid mantra in my head, "GOTTA WANT IT". If you want to be happy I think you can independently be happy. Everyone always goes through their down periods but learning independence(to an extent, you always need people in your life) helps you through them and helps you grow. And I think it would be good to start attempting to put faith into your friends and family and slowly opening up to them. It'll probably help you be less dependent on the girl you're friends with.

I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I hope it helps. I don't want you to feel like a wreck...I know I've been there =(

[redmanXNTP]

Your profile says you're 16. That's a tough part of one's life to have the proper perspective in these things (and there are plenty of people who are older than you are who still struggle).

The best way as others have said it to square up and address it. Tell her that you'd really like to go out with her but (this is the toughest part) you understand that she may not feel the same way and that you respect it. You still want to be friends with her because you consider her one of your best friends.

To your other best friend, the guy she's interested in, you should talk to him too. Leave out the "want to go out with her" part and just tell him that you respect that he and she like each other and that you won't interfere, and you don't want to have her get between you two as friends.

What you shouldn't do is something rash or dramatic. It's not going to impress them and might even make them think you're out of control and drive them away further.

Also, I wouldn't talk about how much it hurts to either of them as they're going to take that as you interfering or putting pressure on them or blaming them. You'll need to find someone else to talk to about your feelings on this. You're not comfortable with your parents, but is there no other outlet? Church? Cousin? School counselor or teacher?

I assume you're around the same age as the two of them, so it's hard to predict how they'll react. Someone who's mature would treat you with respect, and might or might not continue to treat you as a friend. But you can't control how they feel or react, but you can act like an adult and lay the groundwork for your future. Trust me, this won't be the first time that you encounter a girl you are really interested in but who isn't interested in you. That's life.

Good luck. Take a deep breath. In a shorter amount of time than you think right now, this won't hurt or mean nearly as much to you as it does right now.