I reckon I ought to know. There's been a death, you see.
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This is a discussion on How should one comfort an INFJ? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I reckon I ought to know. There's been a death, you see....

I reckon I ought to know. There's been a death, you see.
I'm not an INFJ, but I would guess that this is the best way:
Don't try to rush the INFJ's healing process. Let him or her talk openly about his or her feelings and mourn for as long as necessary. Offer a shoulder to cry on while still allowing the INFJ plenty of space to withdraw. Give him or her a personalized sympathy card to show that you care. Little traditional things like that can be very important. One INFJ that I know still has his sympathy cards on display from when his dogs died, and he seems to value knowing that so many people cared about helping him through the tragedy.
yeah, a handmade note can still bring tears years later (of mixed emotions) but it will be cherished
One, don't talk ill of the person they are greiving. Don't tell them, "Don't make this a thing...okay?" Oh yeah, I had a boyfriend tell me that after I held my aunt's hand while she died from cancer. In other words he didn't want me to be sad for too long or that would be less attention for him.
Give the person space, but show you care. Ask if they want to go for a walk and just listen. Maybe share your own heartbreak, but watch him or her for cues to see if you're pissing her off or if she is showing that she connects with you. Any sentimental, heartfelt notion will do. Even if they cry, do it. He or she needs to cry. Check in on them once in a while because the world stops at this point. It's like we're on pause while the rest of the world is moving all around us. Even if we're going through the motions. Even the smallest act of caring at this point will stay with your INFJ friend forever.
Well I tend to believe my mother is an infj. Her father died a few months ago and since she was the oldest she took care of most of the things that my grandmother couldn't take care of. We seem quite alike at that point, she's good at handling difficult situations. Its very inward with her, but sometimes it comes out rather slowly, so just listen would be my idea. And since she hates general comments about it, I would not do that. Just tell you are there if you really are going to be there, listen and contribute constructively.
Put an effort into it if you feel a need to show your condolances.
Be there if they need you basically. Take time out and support their needs. If they are hard hit by the experience, then sympathetically take a few blows for them.
Yes/No?
If you can get them to laugh and talk about good times that they had with that person...it's very healing.
I had an ESFP best friend that always be there for me when i go through a hard time..
all she do is listen to me and act very emphatize with what I'm feeling at the time..
so I guess that the best thing she has done to me to get through my grieve is to show her sincere care..
as an INFJ, i think I'm very sensitive to other person feelings, so I could tell whether is someone is sincerely emphatize with my feelings or not..
that's why I don't share my sadness to everyone, only to the one that I know would understand what I'm going through..
yes, this is good one too ^^If you can get them to laugh and talk about good times that they had with that person...it's very healing.
I'd rather be left alone by myself for little bit. I will accept other's sympathies after I done majority of the grieving. If they want to send me something, that's fine. I will definitely have more respect for that person later on.
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