This is a discussion on Type-Trading within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Frog Rapunzel! FINALLY someone with a T to trade! Before you take the F, though, I have ...
Rapunzel, what are you talking about? We are SO easy to understand! In fact, I could explain us in, like... ah, who am I kidding? Nine times out of ten we don't even understand OURSELVES.
Sounds like you Fe is going crazy, you need to get that under control. Try to think more rationally about the situation. what if it does work out? what if she really likes you? you'll be kicking yourself if you ruin it cuz of the fear, you can't let it get to you. i know Our Intuition can make us think bad things are gonna happen sometimes, and sometimes its right. but its really there to help you make wiser choices not to run at the first sign that it might not be great. Give it a chance, no need to freak out over nothing.
Oh, I have no doubt that she likes me... it's the potential depth of that attachment (or lack thereof) that has me freaking out. But you're spot-on the money, Alessandra; I do need to calm the Fe... or better yet, focus it on something else. preferable altruistic. Thanks!
Lol, you're funny and welcome to the forum :)
As for your situation...is the interest mutual? Or are you only interested in her (so far) because she likes you?
I am VERY interested in her. However, I don't know many men who wouldn't be; she has a way of making those around her feel included and important. We also share a lot of common likes, which is one of the reasons I assumed she was NF. Then I read this;
It was kind of like being slapped in the face with a wet fish, because I had only just realized that she was probably an SP and not an NF, and then it was at the accidental prompting of a third party.Soulful Idealists [NF] can be enchanted by the [SP] Artisans' lack of self-consciousness, and by their sheer physical attractiveness, and will often project into the impulsive, unreflective SP their own NF image of the spiritual poet or artist.
I used to have a T to trade you. Then I realized I didn't actually have it, I just thought I did, so I acted like I did.
I actually sorta secretly wonder whether it's possible to desire to be a type other than your own, since MBTI is determined by your preferences. Maybe I'm wrong, though.
However, I know I used to act like an INTJ simply because I felt I was an INTJ, even though I would rather have been an F. Then I started acted like an INFJ, and it felt so much more comfortable to me. It felt like a much more natural way of acting.
Maybe you're in a similar situation?
Also, with regards to your relationship problem. Try taking her to the park or something like that. That can be very revealing about compatibility and personalities. What does she notice about the environment vs you?
Also, she might very well understand your "poetic sensibilities" ;-)
I used to have a strong bias against Ss, thinking that there was necessarily an intelligence gap that existed. My dorm room at college is on a floor made up of 75% National Merit Scholars, and most of them are SJs, SPs, and a proportionate number of NFs. The entire floor has maybe 1 or 2 NTs.
Interesting idea, SOFTero. I've considered it, and to be fair I have a strong T side... but when push comes to shove, it's the cooperative F that makes my decisions, not the T. We also tend to mistype ourselves, so I can only imagine what we do with other people. And there's a lot more to it than type, I guess; even in the INFJ forum there are a lot of different attitudes, opinions and variants of personality.
On kind of a tangent, do you think us being male has anything to do with the T showing up? I've been wondering about that.
Vivid Melody, you make me want to marry an INFJ just so my kids can have an INFJ mom. Thanks for your insight and support.