[thegirlcandance]

I'd assume other INFJs pick up on these things too because of our Ni, but do you ever notice when a friend is in a new relationship or something and in the pictures people comment "oh you look so happy" but you secretly don't really believe it.

One good example I have is of this girl from my home community that committed suicide. It baffles me how people always commented how "she always was smiling" and "looked so happy". However, when I had initially heard she died I didn't know what the cause was, so I remember looking at pictures of her and seeing how sad and depressed she was deep down. Based on this, I determined that she must have committed suicide, which she had in fact did.

I also see this with people in new relationships where people think they are "so happy" and "in a good relationship" but I see the pictures and think... they're not really in love -- its merely an attraction and they're just having some fun right now but it won't last.



Other INFJs experience this??

[Carbodarah]

I just see it as unoriginal people trying to carry on a conversation by saying predictable, pre-made lines. I've had someone say to me, "You look happy in this picture" just because they had nothing else to say. They're making a social effort.

But yea... Sometimes people just aren't very good at judging the true emotions of others.

[thegirlcandance]

I just see it as unoriginal people trying to carry on a conversation by saying predictable, pre-made lines. I've had someone say to me, "You look happy in this picture" just because they had nothing else to say. They're making a social effort.

But yea... Sometimes people just aren't very good at judging the true emotions of others.

To me, it feels like an extraverted feeling expectation. Meaning, its mostly the Fe in people (and primarily ENFJs and ESFJs) trying to make others feel good by saying such comments even though they are not entirely genuine and truthful.

[vagus]

Those thoughts were running through my mind when I was a groomsman for my friend's wedding. It's sad to realize and unable to do anything about it.

[how do you feel]

I get that a lot when people post "out" albums on facebook with 80 new photos. So many of them are fake smiles and set up. Ah whatever floats your boat.

[Hastings]

At work, there's a social and outgoing introvert. She likes to laugh and is very welcoming, which make people think she is an extravert. I saw through it though; there were subtleties in her mannerisms which gave her away. It makes me assume that people judge these things way too superficially -- apart from acting polite about it.

[Jawz]

fb is the worst way to judge someone's 'life' .. all you see is a fake, happy exterior .. it's almost hypnotic and somewhat sickening. Obviously nobody's gonna post a sad faced, depressing picture of themselves ! Hah! That way .. it seems like everybody's happy - and extroverted .... but damn it, we know the world is sadder than it appears ..

the world turns to the extroverts when they want to have fun ... then they come to us when they get hurt ... and the fortunate/unfortunate thing is we're always freaking there ... and even if we're not there, we make up excuses to 'be' there - even if the other person doesn't want it .. i hate this nagging feeling I get every time I look at a friend's melodramatic status or whatever and find myself sending a private message ... at times, I've run out of ways to express "I want to help" to the same person.

[how do you feel]

every time I look at a friend's melodramatic status or whatever and find myself sending a private message ... at times, I've run out of ways to express "I want to help" to the same person.

I'm not sure if your friends post these but on my wall sometimes you get posts like "hates it when people talk behind your back" which appear anon but are targeted at one person to make them feel bad, so annoying. Also people who publicly put their life on fb; anytime I want to talk to someone I always use pm but no they insist on vomiting their crap on other peoples walls *unfriend* :)

[Somberlain]

I'd assume other INFJs pick up on these things too because of our Ni, but do you ever notice when a friend is in a new relationship or something and in the pictures people comment "oh you look so happy" but you secretly don't really believe it.

One good example I have is of this girl from my home community that committed suicide. It baffles me how people always commented how "she always was smiling" and "looked so happy". However, when I had initially heard she died I didn't know what the cause was, so I remember looking at pictures of her and seeing how sad and depressed she was deep down. Based on this, I determined that she must have committed suicide, which she had in fact did.

I also see this with people in new relationships where people think they are "so happy" and "in a good relationship" but I see the pictures and think... they're not really in love -- its merely an attraction and they're just having some fun right now but it won't last.

Other INFJs experience this??

Honestly I really take my intuition with a grain of salt precisely for these reasons, so that I don't allow it to interfere with my ideas of who other people really are. When I was younger this very same thing would happen to me and it would override everything that they would say, do and I would think that they were in fact "X" but the reality they were "Y". No matter what they did, it would only cement in my mind that they were in fact the way I felt they were, almost creating this kind of self-fulfilling prophecy that just perpetuated itself through their actions. What if in fact these people were genuinely happy? happiness to me isn't so black and white, it fluctuates and ebbs like waves upon the beach always in motion.

Happiness can take form in so many different ways and can be as varied as people are. The thing with intuition is its very much something that is apart of us and it requires us in order for the readings to have meaning and be understood...are we seeing the truth? or are we seeing what we interpreted from that reading? Sure I have had many of these feelings from looking at pictures that the people in them weren't genuine or that it was fake and superficial but I never let it end there I always pursue the reality to check my intuition against their actions.

The relationship between my Mother and her husband is a great example for me on why I shouldn't always take my intuition at face value. My intuition screams at me they don't really love each other and that they are more like partners working together, I can't even remember the last time I believed them when they said "I love you" to each other. But after 10 years of marriage who am I to judge them?...I haven't had a serious relationship that was even remotely close to that level that required such commitment and cooperation. Even if my intuition is dead on right, so what...if it works for them...who am I to judge them?

[Aspera]

Sometimes I see that in people's posts on these forums. It makes me worry about them, although I never know whether I should say something to them or not. I'm forever telling myself I'm probably just reading too much into it - an internet post, like a photo, is one tiny snapshot of time. It's only if you see a whole series of them like that that it might really be an issue worth investigating. Like Somberlain said, we trust our intuition and it's often right but sometimes we just can't know these things.