I'm sure many of you can attest to trying to help someone you love. They could be a spouse, family member, or a dear friend. In my last relationship, I tried to work with my ex to stop her obsession with Internet chatrooms and meetng random men behind my back. Nothing worked.
I now have a family member living with me. They moved here from the midwest to start a new life. I thought their gambling addiction was resolved, but discovered two weeks ago that it wasn't. I was furious. I knew without a doubt the reason why they couldn't keep the bills paid or a bank account open. I was just told that they would close their new account because it's currently overdrawn (their own fault for pissing their money away in slot machines).
As hard as it is to witness this family member continuing their same behavior, I just can't watch anymore. And although they say they won't do it again, I know better. I'm tired of caring about it now. All I wanted was to help her return to a better life, but they must do this on their own now. I know from past experience that being intimately involved in trying to help someone will only lead to disaster in my own life. The hardest part is that this family member is my mom. I feel so betrayed that she would come here to repeat the same nonsense. I gave up my peace of mind, privacy, space, and other things for what? Had I known, I would not have offered that she move here to start over, but it's too late now. I'm once again repeating the past and I cannot do this anymore.
I'm not only disgusted (still) with her, but myself as well. I'm tired of trying to help those I love with problems they're in denial about or don't care to fix. As I've been told, I need to focus on myself, but you guys know how that is -- you can't be selfish when it comes to those you love, but I have to in this case. I love my mom dearly, but I can't wait until she gets her own place, so if she chooses to hurt herself financially again, I don't have to be around to watch.