So, this is going to have two topics. This may come off as whining/self-pity, which I apologize for in advance. But there is the "thing" about INFJ males usually later in age or at least gone through a bad breakup carrying around "baggage". How can one actually release it? Usually a person would get past things through "experience" but in relationships it's hard to start a new one if it appears you have "baggage", but usually baggage (at least personally for me) would be dropped when I no longer have anything to focus or draw experience from. Confused So catch-22, can't move forward without being forward and can't move forward without being forward.
Second, confidence. Why does this have to be "upfront", mine grows over time and experience again. I see/hear/read that women really like a guy who is "confident" but like I said at first I'm not very confident but later on my confidence grows immensely. That's how it was in my relationship, my ex even told me this. So again catch-22. Thoughts? Outside of (dude, you're thinking is screwed up and just "fix" yourself) I enjoy the pace at which I go about things. And I'm only me, which deep down I like but the surface seems to matter a lot.
Btw, I am comfortable with the fact that I am no longer with my ex, all I have is memories and experiences. Figured I should clarify that.