[ningyo]

I read somewhere that it's common for INFJs to have a secret desire to have an easy life, and so they develop perfectionist tendencies to get them there, but due to having limited energy in the real of practical matters, these tendencies usually fall short in the ways that matter. Actually, this was what brought me really close to an ENTJ for a while, before we tried living together. Things just didn't work out.



I also have some of these traits, and there are some I've had but no longer have, so. :o

[MiriUchiha]

They are afraid of vulnerability and fear exposure of self.
They may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment, and feelings of inferiority to others.
They fear intimacy and tend to avoid real commitment in relationships.
They may appear either grandiose and self-centered, or seem selfless.
They feel that "No matter what I do, it won't make a difference: I am and always will be worthless and unlovable."
They frequently feel defensive when even minor negative feedback is given. They may suffer severe humiliation if forced to look at mistakes or imperfections.
They frequently blame others before they can be blamed.
They may apologize constantly and assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.
They often feel like outsiders and have a pervasive feeling of loneliness, even when surrounded by those who love and care for them.
They project their beliefs about themselves onto others, frequently engaging in "mind-reading" and constantly feeling judged by others.
They often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves.
They often feel ugly, flawed and imperfect, and may be overly focused on make-up or clothing as a way of hiding perceived flaws in self.
They often feel controlled from the outside as well as within; normal spontaneous expression is blocked.
They often suffer from performance anxiety and procrastination and depression.
They often lie to themselves and others.
They frequently block feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholism, eating disorders, shopping, substance abuse, list making or gambling.

The BOLD ones are me. I did live in a constant shame while growing up. =/

[KelseyT]

I read somewhere that it's common for INFJs to have a secret desire to have an easy life, and so they develop perfectionist tendencies to get them there, but due to having limited energy in the real of practical matters, these tendencies usually fall short in the ways that matter. Actually, this was what brought me really close to an ENTJ for a while, before we tried living together. Things just didn't work out.

I also have some of these traits, and there are some I've had but no longer have, so. :o

I envy the people that have, well what you called an easy life, but I believe that when you go through rough things you are learning. What do you even learn when things are easy? Just a thought :)

[Tsuki]

They are afraid of vulnerability and fear exposure of self.
They may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment, and feelings of inferiority to others.
They fear intimacy and tend to avoid real commitment in relationships.
They may appear either grandiose and self-centered, or seem selfless.
They feel that "No matter what I do, it won't make a difference: I am and always will be worthless and unlovable."
They frequently feel defensive when even minor negative feedback is given. They may suffer severe humiliation if forced to look at mistakes or imperfections.
They frequently blame others before they can be blamed.
They may apologize constantly and assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.
They often feel like outsiders and have a pervasive feeling of loneliness, even when surrounded by those who love and care for them.
They project their beliefs about themselves onto others, frequently engaging in "mind-reading" and constantly feeling judged by others.
They often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves.
They often feel ugly, flawed and imperfect, and may be overly focused on make-up or clothing as a way of hiding perceived flaws in self.
They often feel controlled from the outside as well as within; normal spontaneous expression is blocked.
They often suffer from performance anxiety and procrastination and depression.
They often lie to themselves and others.
They frequently block feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholism, eating disorders, shopping, substance abuse, list making or gambling.

It's accurate enough for me XD; But it's just my nature so I don't find it shameful......mostly...partially...somewhat... >_>

[Beverly]

You should all be ashamed that you're not more ashamed. I've struggled with all but two of these my whole life, and still struggle with all but three.

I didn't have a bad childhood either. But I guess it makes sense. My dad has this depressed/ashamed/self-disappointed thing going on, and has as long as I can remember (worrying about becoming him is a big motivator for me, since I see what it looks like if left alone). My mom was always very positive, except for when she was stressed. But she had no sympathy for sadness. Whenever I was in a sad mood she would say "No pity parties in my house!" and she meant it. She was very loving, she just had a few weak spots.

So I guess it makes sense. But really, a lot of them felt related to some common INFJ issues, so I expected more. Guess I'm just projecting.

[Vivid Melody]

They are afraid of vulnerability and fear exposure of self.
They may suffer extreme shyness, embarrassment, and feelings of inferiority to others.
They fear intimacy and tend to avoid real commitment in relationships.
They may appear either grandiose and self-centered, or seem selfless.
They feel that "No matter what I do, it won't make a difference: I am and always will be worthless and unlovable."
They frequently feel defensive when even minor negative feedback is given. They may suffer severe humiliation if forced to look at mistakes or imperfections.
They frequently blame others before they can be blamed.
They may apologize constantly and assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.
They often feel like outsiders and have a pervasive feeling of loneliness, even when surrounded by those who love and care for them.
They project their beliefs about themselves onto others, frequently engaging in "mind-reading" and constantly feeling judged by others.
They often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves.
They often feel ugly, flawed and imperfect, and may be overly focused on make-up or clothing as a way of hiding perceived flaws in self.
They often feel controlled from the outside as well as within; normal spontaneous expression is blocked.
They often suffer from performance anxiety and procrastination and depression.
They often lie to themselves and others.
They frequently block feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholism, eating disorders, shopping, substance abuse, list making or gambling.

[ukinfj]

[QUOTE=beast in peace;1147495]
They are afraid of vulnerability and fear exposure of self. - except for those I know will accept me.

They feel that "No matter what I do, it won't make a difference: I am and always will be outside of and below society." - changed this to suit me. This is probably my biggest problem.

They may apologize constantly and assume responsibility for the behavior of those around them.

They often feel angry and judgmental towards the qualities in others that they feel ashamed of in themselves.

They frequently block feelings of shame through compulsive behaviors like workaholism, eating disorders, shopping, substance abuse, list making or gambling.

So a few of them, but I don't think it's inherent in personality. I think this depends on your specific life experience and there are many experiences that could lead one to become an INFJ. I tend to resist embarrassment. Perhaps I feel it, but I tell myself that I'm not allowed to feel embarrassed because that would be to say that it matters what other people think of me. The only time I'm embarrassed is if I feel I've upset someone else. That's very embarrassing. But everything else should not be embarrassing.