Thx everyone for the advice and kind words. The song too of course, it is freaking awesome.
I'm going to take the time I need to come to terms with my thoughts and feelings. Will continue to exercise and listen to good music, if my feelings overwhelm me I'll go to a private place, maybe take a walk or go for a ride and let them out. I'm not going to suppress them, that is probably not a good idea.
My passion are foreign languages, writing and people so going to finally learn to speak Japanese, read a few books and I volunteered. Need to finish college, get my Hungarian citizenship, and a bunch of other things.
Will go out with some friends, I owe someone a gyros lol.
It isn't so much about me making her happy, I just have to get over this so she doesn't have to worry. I want her to do what ever makes her happy and she shouldn't feel bad about things. To me that is what love relay means, holding on to someone is just being possessive and that is not love.
EDIT: Gotta love that song! Thx Illumination888! :)