[INFJ] Socially bored??

Socially bored??

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This is a discussion on Socially bored?? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I'm wondering if other INFJs experience this, but I feel like I've come to the point in my life where ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Socially bored??

    I'm wondering if other INFJs experience this, but I feel like I've come to the point in my life where I am just socially bored. I have two roommates right now, and a lot of times rather than hang out with them I would rather read a book by myself or play/talk with the dogs or cats. My only outlet lately for intellectual conversation is these forums and that's about it.

    My one roommate is always on-the-go and I can have some decent conversations with her (she's more insightful than the other one though she still acts without thinking of the potential outcome). I got the feeling that she's an ESFP, perhaps (or ESFJ), and a lot of times she'll invite people over or hang out with people that I just have meaningless conversation. The other I think is an SJ of some sorts... and she's not working much now and a lot of times all she wants to do is sit around watching movies, hang out with her immature boyfriend, or go out to eat and drink. How mind-numbing.

    I have lived with two ESFJs in the past and with them I would often just "fake it" to make them happy, I guess you could say (not sure how else to say it even though that sounds bad...). Since I know that the one would get upset by me going about my really independent ways.
    When I lived with an ENTJ prior to now is was amazing because we were completely independent but would hang out and have good conversations a few days a week. Initially, I was intimidated by her because her lack of Fe to provide a "welcoming" feeling, but over time we got along great.

    I'm at the point now where I'm just completely socially bored and don't feel like wasting my time with meaningless mind-numbing interactions. Its so distressing. I went from mentally challenging every day with work to no external stimulation at all. Agh.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I, too, am socially bored. I can't find that many people I find interesting, and when I do, it seems that they're always too busy to hang out. It's frustrating. Like you, I'm having to make do with people I'm not particularly fond of, just so I have someone to spend time with. I do get lonely, so it's nice to have someone, although at times, like you, I prefer solitude.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    I feel socially complex and bored, I don't know.

    These past few days, I'm jumping back and forth...I feel strange. I feel like an extreme introvert wanting to be alone but at the same time I'm curious about connecting more and more.I am boring myself by being paradoxical
    thegirlcandance and BlueSoulGreenHeart thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    you should find yourself a poli-sci major. they always have interesting/intellectual stuff to say. My good friend/ next door corridormate is one, and i can find an intellectual-outlet through him.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I can relate. I spend a lot of time occupying myself with reading, video games, movies, etc. I have a few friends that I will call up and hang out with every now and then but overall most people do not seem to be engaging to me. It's all the small talk- you don't really care about the subject and so I don't really care, or it's this social construct that we feel obligated to participate in (which I find comical sometimes). I'd rather just not waste my time and energy on that.

    Sometimes though I do need to just get out of my head and I will go out to socialize with a big group. Lately I've been more tactful in starting intellectual conversations- finding a connection in the conversation topic and bringing it to that next level. Some people give positive results. If it doesn't work out well whatever. I start looking for an exit and on to the next person I can find. Ha ha.

    I think as long as you are doing something with your time and you are getting new ideas, solidifying old ones, or just plain enjoying yourself, with what that something is then it isn't that big of a deal. It is probably a good idea though to make an effort every now and then to venture out and interact with other people. Humans are meant to be social. It keeps the insanity level in check.
    thegirlcandance, Clementia, diverged and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by krnjason View Post
    you should find yourself a poli-sci major. they always have interesting/intellectual stuff to say. My good friend/ next door corridormate is one, and i can find an intellectual-outlet through him.
    See, I'm a college graduate now so I don't really have access to that. Actually, right now it really sucks because I can't get a full-time job in my major until August and in the mean time it seems that I get to deal with the non-college educated S types that are fine just settling with any job they can get and live by the day (which kind of sounds bad, but its true).

    I'm figuring that once I get in my career, it will be a bit different because I'm sure that I will find colleagues to be intellectual-outlets.

    Lately, I've mostly been keeping myself occupied with books, applying for jobs, working towards out-of-state certification, out-of-state jobs, and then whatever other ideas that may come to mind that I see as a goal I want to accomplish. Today I came across a 5K run/walk that is going to go on the last friday in April... I might just consider giving myself that to work towards. Figure if I give myself a race to participate in, I'll be more motivated to run and exercise every week. Good way to challenge myself too.. perhaps. Scratch something else off the bucket list, you know?

    I'm sure after a while here my Fe will desire more social interaction, but right now my Ni is just fed up with it and doesn't want to allow me to be subject to the abuse.

  7. #7
    Unknown Personality

    I relate. I attribute this to the lack of depth in the social interactions I have been encountering lately, both emotionally and intellectually (I have been making more of an effort to go outside my 'comfort zone'). You would think that since I have been spending so much time in solitude lately, that these social encounters would be refreshing, but I find that this is not the case - I feel bored, unstimulated by the conversations, and sometimes annoyed by the incessant small-talk. I feel socially bored, but more so, I feel intellectually bored and unchallenged.
    thegirlcandance thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by curious0610 View Post
    I relate. I attribute this to the lack of depth in the social interactions I have been encountering lately, both emotionally and intellectually (I have been making more of an effort to go outside my 'comfort zone'). You would think that since I have been spending so much time in solitude lately, that these social encounters would be refreshing, but I find that this is not the case - I feel bored, unstimulated by the conversations, and sometimes annoyed by the incessant small-talk. I feel socially bored, but more so, I feel intellectually bored and unchallenged.
    Its like the dog that keeps getting in "trouble" with stuff because the owner doesn't challenge him enough by teaching him new things.

  9. #9
    Unknown Personality

    Hahaha.... I don't know about getting in trouble, since my response to being bored has been to bury myself with work and to keep myself occupied that way. I've been trying to learn new things, too, but the environment I'm in is not that stimulating. I need to be able to relate my ideas to other people's ideas, and have that constant intellectual dialogue going. Without it, even the most fascinating readings just get lost in the vacuum of boredom. There aren't that many people around interested in the same intellectual/philosophical stuff as I am which makes things even more.... boring.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by curious0610 View Post
    Hahaha.... I don't know about getting in trouble, since my response to being bored has been to bury myself with work and to keep myself occupied that way. I've been trying to learn new things, too, but the environment I'm in is not that stimulating. I need to be able to relate my ideas to other people's ideas, and have that constant intellectual dialogue going. Without it, even the most fascinating readings just get lost in the vacuum of boredom. There aren't that many people around interested in the same intellectual/philosophical stuff as I am which makes things even more.... boring.
    Wait, allow me to change that and not necessarily say "trouble" but instead "do what is typically not socially acceptable to the majority of society". It is often expected by dog owners for them to be perfectly independent and lay around to not get in trouble while the owner is busy with other things. Just as with society it is often expected that people must go out and associate with others despite the non-stimulating conversations.


    Some people amaze me with their continuous cycle of "same ol' song, different day"... complaining about the same stuff that they have been complaining about for the last 20 years.


     
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