[INFJ] Reading People

Reading People

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This is a discussion on Reading People within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; How quickly do you read people? I mean, how soon after meeting them do you know whether or not you ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Reading People

    How quickly do you read people? I mean, how soon after meeting them do you know whether or not you like them?
    Female INFJ and lemondropG thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    It takes me a while to read people.

    First I have to dot-to-dot their freckles into words and try to make some sense of it.

    Some people have alot of freckles, and obviously take longer to read, but end up making more sense than those without.

    Then there are those cold, brittle people who won't let you near them with a half decent felt-tip pen.
    Malovane, yellowbritt, lemondropG and 3 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowPlay View Post
    It takes me a while to read people.

    First I have to dot-to-dot their freckles into words and try to make some sense of it.

    Some people have alot of freckles, and obviously take longer to read, but end up making more sense than those without.

    Then there are those cold, brittle people who won't let you near them with a half decent felt-tip pen.
    That is fantastic.

    I don't really have freckles..I make things difficult.

    But to answer your original question, yellowbritt, it really depends on the person. Some people are more expressive than others, and I can kinda figure out the basics pretty quickly. Others not so much. I can see when someone is being guarded, but I can't always see what exactly they're guarding.

    And of course, I'm human, so I can make errors.
    ShadowPlay, yellowbritt and lemondropG thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I usually decide whether or not I like a person long before I've read them as in read them.
    I separate that, but to answer the question you're after:

    It takes me five minutes, tops, to notice people that I'm not compatible with at all.
    It takes me a minute, tops, to notice someone who intrigue me.
    It takes me two to fifteen minutes to decide whether or not I initially like them.

    These are all generalizations, there's always exceptions.

    Regardless, I'm usually open to re-evaluating my opinion.


    That reminds me of a girl in the same class as me in... College I think (16-18).
    I could not read her, at all. She intrigued me to no end. She was also quite beautiful.
    yellowbritt and Jasette thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Meh ... I try not to put too much faith into my first impressions--they've failed me in the past. Often, someone whom I ended up liking a lot gave off a terrible first impression and vice versa. I try to stay as flexible with my opinions as I can.
    Shaun of Leeds, yellowbritt and lemondropG thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I usually have an immediate reaction to people and am pretty accurate with those initial thoughts. I tend to place people in the same categories as UniqueFinallyWithPeers. And based on those feelings, I'll react to those people appropriately. However, I am trying not to pigeonhole people and I've got better at allowing them to express themselves and reveal themselves to me. It's been a pleasant surprise from time to time and It also allows me to engage in more natural conversation.

    The cool thing for me is that this ability gives me an extra advantage in my work as a reality tv casting director. Going to open calls and talking with 700 people a day has honed those skills a bit and I make pretty accurate judgements in the selection process. The difficult thing about it is that I see things that others don't/can't see and it can be pretty frustrating when I'm trying to explain why these people would be great for a show. Most producers can only evaluate what they see and have no ability to look beyond or see what's underneath. That part can be extremely frustrating!
    yellowbritt thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors


    I remember reading of studies done on people playing out prisoner's dilemma game with each other that if the subjects spent 30 minutes before the game talking and getting to know each other, that this correlated with their ability to successfully predict who is going to cheat them at this game and who is going to cooperate and play fair. So it sounds like 30 minutes is already enough for people to develop those 'hunches' about each other.

    I'd say first when I meet people I do an approximate reading, but so does everybody else imho. It is what is called "the first impression". Over time though I refine the pictures that I have of people whom I know. I tend to notice a bunch of little things and add them all up together. This I noticed is the main difference in how I do it and how many others do it.
    Rube and yellowbritt thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I read people instantly on many levels. Body language, vibe, inflection, etc. all show me exactly who someone is. I feel who people are, if that makes any sense.

    Getting to know people, I almost always find out that my impressions are exactly right... and the few things I am wrong about often turn out to be the person lying about it, and it turns out I was in fact right all along.

    However, this is only for seeing the person for who they are, not getting to know details about them. I'm intuitive, not psychic.
    Last edited by Nobleheart; 01-25-2011 at 03:39 PM.
    ShadowPlay, yellowbritt and DustyAZ thanked this post.

  9. #9
    Unknown Personality


    NobleHeart, I'm exactly the same way. I can usually read someone quite well in just seconds and I'm usually right. I liked the way you expressed it -- I feel people, their vibes, agendas, etc. However, it's hard to pick up on some of the hidden details, especially if someone is trying to hide it. You know something is being hidden, but not quite sure what exactly it is. ;-)
    Nobleheart and yellowbritt thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Apparently not quickly enough, sometimes.
    yellowbritt thanked this post.


 
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