[yellowbritt]

Last night my housemate asked what I'm doing for New Year's Eve. I told her the truth - nothing. This semester I've felt down because I spend most of my time alone while my friends go out partying. I hate sitting in my room with a so-so movie on yet another Friday or Saturday, knowing everyone else is having fun without me.

My housemate suggested I do something with her. At first I turned her down, assuming she'd be heading to a crazy party, but she told me that instead, she's thinking of going to a small pub downtown and just hanging out, maybe listening to a band play. That sounds like my kind of thing, so I agreed to go, although now I'm feeling kind of anxious about it.

First, my housemate often makes plans with me, then backs out of them or changes them drastically, so I half expect that she'll pull that kind of action again. For instance, I may show up to find she's invited all 2,500 of her Facebook friends, and the pub is too packed for anyone to sit down. Or, more likely, she'll decide to do something else altogether - something less to my taste.

I was considering the latter when it occurred to me that if she does back out, I could go to the pub alone. At first the thought was exciting - you never know who you'll meet, or what great band might be playing, etc. But then I wondered what would happen if I arrived and felt awkward, wound up hiding for an hour in a corner, looking stupid, and left feeling like more of a social failure than if I'd spent another night with Netflix.



Any other socially-anxious, lonely INFJ's have suggestions, support, or advice to offer? What are YOU all doing to ring in the New Year?

[ertertwert]

You just have to learn to grow a pair, if you'll pardon the expression. I've found that every time I tag along with someone I always end up having more fun than I imagined it would be. We like to find reasons NOT to do something. The times I'm happiest are when I just live in the moment and cancel my long-term planning. And besides... IT'S NEW YEARS! Get out of your fucking house.

[fairytales]

Hey!
I personally will be staying in and going to bed I dont really see anything special about New Year to be honest and I dont care enough to celebrate it. Perhaps this is because I grew up as an only child with fairly old parents!
However, as far as going to the pub alone is concerned.. that kind of thing has always appealed to me,, but ive never "grown the balls" (hehe) to actually do it. I imagine if I had a few drinks it would be fun.. but I dont want to rely on alcohol to enjoy myself. Like, the idea of being really spontaneous and having a crazy adventure all on my own really appeals to me.. BUT, my rational side gets in the way!
What do YOU want to do? Dont feel like you have to do anything just cos society dictates it!

[Mikz]

I agree with fairytales. Don't do anything if it's just because you feel compelled and you don't "really" want to do it.

A girl I know sat in working on a paper for school last year -- just 'cuz (point being I envy her being able to do it like that). Personally I've always went partying with a very tight clique of like 10 people, and that's what's happening this year, too, just in a new place. :)

[ertertwert]

I'm going to Portland with my parents for New Years. Spending time with my aunt, uncle, and their two kids. I would rather stay home, but in accordance with the advice I have already supplied, I decided to go along because it was something I don't normally do. I don't know how it will pan out at all. Which is exciting. Sometimes I have to stop planning ahead.

[yellowbritt]

You just have to learn to grow a pair, if you'll pardon the expression. I've found that every time I tag along with someone I always end up having more fun than I imagined it would be. We like to find reasons NOT to do something. The times I'm happiest are when I just live in the moment and cancel my long-term planning. And besides... IT'S NEW YEARS! Get out of your fucking house.

I think you're right, ertertwert. When I've gone out with this ENFP in the past, it was always because I decided to be bold, throw caution to the wind, and do something a little crazy (for me, at least). Sometimes it didn't work out too well, but often I really enjoyed it, and I always felt better about myself for having done it. And if I go alone, it's still a chance to do something bold and crazy. This is an opportunity, and like all opportunities, it will be what I make of it.

You're right, too, fairytales, in that I have to do what I want to do. And what I want to do is NOT sit home alone this Friday. I'm going to grab my camera and wear something kind of fun, and have a nice time!

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

[thegirlcandance]

I'm going to a house party that my ESFP friend is hosting. There's quite a few people invited, but I hope they don't all stay long just because I personally like the smaller group atmosphere with the people I know better.

Don't ever stay home -- its new years and you should be enjoying it. Live in the moment!! Find a good fun SP to help you do that. Personally, I'd rather be at someone's party than out because its just safer and more enjoyable.

[sea cucumber]

this Friday. I'm going to grab my camera and wear something kind of fun, and have a nice time!

Thanks for the encouragement, guys. I'll let you know how it all turns out.

thats a great idea get some sort of funny hat, or dress diffrently, It always makes me feel diffrent and more outgoing, it tends to draw posative attention as well. Have a nice time :)

[yellowbritt]

thats a great idea get some sort of funny hat, or dress diffrently, It always makes me feel diffrent and more outgoing, it tends to draw posative attention as well. Have a nice time :)

I need to become more comfortable with attention. I don't like drawing attention ever, so the thought of wearing a funny hat to intentionally draw attention is way beyond me. I try to be invisible. How do you handle attention?

[fairytales]

Don't ever stay home -- its new years and you should be enjoying it.

I disagree with the word 'should' here I have to say, sorry!