[INFJ] An INFJ with OCD

An INFJ with OCD

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This is a discussion on An INFJ with OCD within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I am an ESTP doctor, and I had only met INFJs online. The first one I met had a hatred ...

  1. #1
    ESTP - The Doers

    An INFJ with OCD

    I am an ESTP doctor, and I had only met INFJs online. The first one I met had a hatred of men and a naivete that I found bothersome although she was otherwise kind and interesting. Between the aversion of such people that I considered so unrealistic and the INFJs rarity, I never thought I would interact with this type much, and I haven't for several years.

    Hollygolightly posted, "It further confirms you are an INFJ when you feel depressed because you think you are too different to be loved." and it struck a cord with me because it showed me that even you all know how out of touch with reality you are.

    On the ESTP forum, I interacted with an INFJ, intrinsic mystic, and I found myself very interested in what she had to say. We had a pleasant exchange, and I was surprised at it. She asked me deep and penetrating questions that I had not considered. Was I wrong about INFJs and was I making a mistake in not seeking them out??

    I had met with a woman that I had never met before and started typing her. Most of the time I can type someone in a few minutes using my own set of questions. I was shocked to see she was an INFJ, and I laughed and asked, "So you think you are really weird, huh??", and she burst out laughing. I told her that I had unlocked the INFJ code a long time ago, and the truth is that you all are oxytocin or love junkies, and the reason you all think you are so weird is that oxytocin does a lot of things, but most importantly, it dulls the senses.

    IMO the neurotransmitters affect type/personality dramatically, and when you know what effects these chemicals have, you can have a lot of fun telling people what they like and don't like and what they do and don't do. With INFJs, you love what raises oxytocin (petting a dog or cat, eating dairy or soy products, sex but for the sake of intimacy, nipple stimulation ETC). You want to be in a state of oxytocin bliss.

    I was absolutely blown away by how happy she was after meeting me. I guess it is very rare for people to get you all, and when people do, you guys are ecstatic.

    BTW, you guys aren't weird, you know that?? You behave exactly like people given high doses of oxytocin would be expected to behave.

    I then met a young beautiful girl that was incredibly fit without an ounce of faith. To be honest, when people are as fit and pretty as she, they usually have a mental disorder. The excess amounts of glutamate associated with bipolar disorder and ADHD are treated naturally with extreme exercise, and these folks tend to be hardbodies. She had a cheerleader build, and a sunny personality that I thought was ENFJ. She was stunned when I told her that I was a doctor and that she had an ADD physique. She asked for my card and wanted to see me in my office for a visit. I think that she was intrigued that someone could pick her, someone so vibrant and healthy looking, as being mentally unfit.

    She showed up in my office and was a mess. Ms. Perfect Appearance could not stop picking at her fingernails because they were not perfect and was crying that she was so out of control about something that was so stupid. A few more questions confirmed to me that the cause of her elevated glutamate levels was not bipolar disorder or ADHD but OCD. I then started to type her and it became apparent to me that my first hunch was wrong again. She was an INFJ and an extreme introvert to boot.

    I was kind of surprised and said, "But you rarely venture out of your circle. You must have been really desperate to seek someone like me out." She burst into tears and said, "you have no idea." I took it as a compliment and then said, "You must have felt really comfortable with me to come here", and she nodded her head. I have read about INFJs and how you all can sense someone's aura. Maybe she did that with me.

    I prescribed the medications for OCD and told her that she would probably feel better than she has in quite a while, and she thanked me and was on her way. I started reading about OCD, and I wondered how many INFJs suffered from this disorder.

    The theory that made the most sense to me was that a tragic event in someone's life had led to alterations/lower levels of the neurotransmitters serotonin and to a lesser extent dopamine. In this patient, her mother was bipolar and tried killing herself three times. Apparently, she acted as mother and raised her younger sisters.

    Of all oxytocin's effects, the most dramatic is its ability to diminish the pain from a traumatic event. From what I have seen, oxytocin does not destroy the memory but lessens the pain from that memory. Although I have read that oxytocin can impair memories.

    It left me wondering. How many people who are INFJs have OCD or OCD tendencies? And is it possible that part of the INFJ personality often is the result of the brain reacting to a traumatic event early on in life?

    I am not sure, but for whatever reason, God has thrown me into the lives of INFJs here lately, and I wonder why. Do we ESTPs and INFJs need each other more than either type thinks we do??
    GreenCoyote, Susanna, zwanglos and 32 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I have a strong aversion to certain tastes, feelings (like cloth under my finger nails), that can physically make me ill. That maybe OCD...

    I must have my electronics PRISTINE clean at all times. If I find a smudge, I rub it of vigorously with something.
    Susanna and elvis2010 thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors


    According to socionics ESTPs and INFJs are supposed to form duality relations i.e. most relaxing of all types where you can just be yourself. Perhaps why you're drawing INFJs in.

    OCD I dunno - does studying a single subject too deeply quantify as OCD? I bet many of us introverts can possibly relate to that one.
    GreenCoyote, Susanna, elvis2010 and 1 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    If OCD is a chemical imbalance, with visible symptoms as being obsessive with no real pattern, yes, the very character of INFJ is OCD-like. However, whether its caused by personality type or chemical imbalance, or whether those are linked, is beyond my ability to find out.

    I find the people I have a lot in common with, like myself, often visit counselling at some point in their lives. And they all make similar comments on how some suggestions helped, but most of what was told to them was completely worthless as the INFJ personality simply won't accept certain types of help or won't do certain things. INFJ has needs, and these needs vary, but these needs could be signifying minor or major cases of OCD.
    Susanna, zwanglos, Goodewitch and 2 others thanked this post.

  5. #5
    ESTP - The Doers

    Quote Originally Posted by Annihilatron View Post

    I find the people I have a lot in common with, like myself, often visit counselling at some point in their lives. And they all make similar comments on how some suggestions helped, but most of what was told to them was completely worthless as the INFJ personality simply won't accept certain types of help or won't do certain things.
    That is interesting. What I think of an INFJ, I think of someone with rose colored glasses on. Is the reason that you won't take the help because it means taking those rose colored glasses off or am I way off?

    BTW, this girl with OCD knew that she needed to be on medication. She studied it herself and her friends were begging her to go on something. However, she wouldn't get her from her family doctor because he was a family friend and she was too ashamed to ask him.

  6. #6
    ESTP - The Doers

    Quote Originally Posted by wondersueak View Post
    I have a strong aversion to certain tastes, feelings (like cloth under my finger nails), that can physically make me ill.
    That is called allodynia, a noxious reaction to a non-noxious stimuli. It is typically caused by a problem with glutamate overstimulating the NMDA receptor, AKA the sensory system. I suspected that a lot of INFJs do have sensory system disorders because that is your fourth function. The classic example of allodynia is a person with a migraine having to sit in a dark room because light hurts their eyes.

    Quote Originally Posted by wondersueak View Post
    I must have my electronics PRISTINE clean at all times. If I find a smudge, I rub it of vigorously with something.
    That is more of the OCD behavior that I wanted to know about. It too is an alteration of the sensory system. If something is not clean/perfect, it results in a release of the stress hormone, cortisol.

    This is what I am talking about how neurochemistry affects behavior. You know that having a smudge on your keyboard is no big deal. However, you cannot relax (i.e. have your cortisol levels go lower) until it is clean.

    You INFJs (and other people around you) may think your behavior is weird, but when you understand the neurochemistry, your behavior makes perfect sense.
    Susanna and xEmilyx thanked this post.

  7. #7
    ESTP - The Doers

    Quote Originally Posted by vel View Post
    According to socionics ESTPs and INFJs are supposed to form duality relations i.e. most relaxing of all types where you can just be yourself. Perhaps why you're drawing INFJs in.
    I hadn't heard of duality theory before so I googled it. From what I read here, ESTPs and INFPs form a duality pairing, Relations of Duality between psychological ("personality") types

    OTOH, ESTPs and INFJs form a conflicting pairing, Conflicting relations between psychological ("personality") types, and this is what was said, "When conflict starts, partners hit each other with arguments exactly in the direction where they can cause maximum pain. In return, the other partner may counterattack even more aggressively. With every conflict these relations become worse and worse."

    But what about an informal pairing? If you guys know exactly where to hurt me, and I can do likewise to you, wouldn't we also be able to help each other when we are in the grip?

    To be honest, INFJs were the last people I thought to look for help when feeling down. Maybe you all should have been the first ones. And let's be honest, would you INFJs seek help from an ESTP when you are down? I would guess that many of you think of us as crude, unfeeling, simplistic boars. Am I wrong?

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I have a few points to make:

    1. Socionics is completely different from the MBTI -- the only thing that is really about the same is the letters, so personally I would rather focus on discussing one system rather than mixing the two together because it gets confusing. The MBTi's INFJ in socionics is INFp because both have the cognitive functions of Ni-Fe-Ti-Se. In socionics, INfp and ESTp are duals.

    2. Truly, INFJs are the least organized of all the J types. Why? Because our primary function is Ni, which means we are always looking toward the future. In my brain and the way I live it is an organized mess. Nobody looking in can make sense of it, but for myself personally it makes perfect sense. I see SJs having a more natural OCD tendency... but then again, the MBTI is a personality assessment used to ultimately determine which cognitive functions a person uses to process information. While, OCD is a disorder which could be caused by several factors that would be difficult for one to really pinpoint and determine why.

    3. In reference to your comment "To be honest, INFJs were the last people I thought to look for help when feeling down." -- from a cognitive function standpoint, it makes perfect sense that we have the desire to express our concerns. We have Fe as our secondary function, which everyone who has Fe is a secondary and, especially, primary function has the desire to "vent" about their feelings. Why? Because our Fe causes us to be focused on the feelings of others rather than ourselves.

    4. Finally, I think that I'm weird -- why? Because I have always known that I'm different from everyone else. Not many people have such good instincts. Is there something wrong with it? Not at all - its a gift. Is the reason I have these personality type preferences the result of some trauma? Not at all. I was born this way and I have just learned to deal with my uniqueness through the years. I honestly believe that it is the lack of feeling understood is what causes us to become upset and depressed, not some underlying factor beyond that and then results in the personality.
    Susanna, Dalien, xEmilyx and 3 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I was diagnosed with clinical OCD last year. I'm currently in therapy with an OCD specialist to help me get my symptoms under control and to learn about this disorder that I'll be fighting against. I've been on a mission since then to learn all I can about it, and I've read many books on the subject.

    Elvis2010--this is a genuine question because maybe I'm misreading your posts, but you do know that OCD doesn't mean someone has a need to keep things perfect and is anal-retentive, right? Someone can be the messiest person alive and have severe OCD. It's all about thought patterns, not specific outward symptoms.

    I apologize if I misread what you posted--this just caught my attention.
    Susanna and emgm thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Annihilatron View Post
    If OCD is a chemical imbalance, with visible symptoms as being obsessive with no real pattern, yes, the very character of INFJ is OCD-like. However, whether its caused by personality type or chemical imbalance, or whether those are linked, is beyond my ability to find out.

    I find the people I have a lot in common with, like myself, often visit counselling at some point in their lives. And they all make similar comments on how some suggestions helped, but most of what was told to them was completely worthless as the INFJ personality simply won't accept certain types of help or won't do certain things. INFJ has needs, and these needs vary, but these needs could be signifying minor or major cases of OCD.
    I would agree that INFJs probably have a tendency to fixate on certain things, ideas, etc. (I know I do!) But although OCD doesn't have a visible pattern as in "he cleans his house every day, he must have OCD" or "she goes back and checks the front door lock a couple times before leaving, she has OCD"; when OCD is displayed in outward symptoms, it is normally very patterned. Their obsessions (the unwanted, repetitive, intrusive thoughts) may make the person do something like they must wash their hands seven times and each time washing palms first then the backs, in between each finger in a certain order, or else they have to restart the pattern. Not that people with OCD like a patterned lifestyle in general, but with the particular situations that the obsessions fixate on, it is normally quite patterned. (Sorry, I have OCD myself, and I felt compelled to respond to the misconception)

    With counseling, I've experienced what you described myself. I've gone to various psychologists for depression several times throughout my life, some for years at a time, and I honestly can't say I got much out of it.
    Last edited by RedTree; 12-11-2010 at 04:28 PM.
    Susanna and deniseyw thanked this post.


 

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