I am an ESTP doctor, and I had only met INFJs online. The first one I met had a hatred of men and a naivete that I found bothersome although she was otherwise kind and interesting. Between the aversion of such people that I considered so unrealistic and the INFJs rarity, I never thought I would interact with this type much, and I haven't for several years.
Hollygolightly posted, "It further confirms you are an INFJ when you feel depressed because you think you are too different to be loved." and it struck a cord with me because it showed me that even you all know how out of touch with reality you are.
On the ESTP forum, I interacted with an INFJ, intrinsic mystic, and I found myself very interested in what she had to say. We had a pleasant exchange, and I was surprised at it. She asked me deep and penetrating questions that I had not considered. Was I wrong about INFJs and was I making a mistake in not seeking them out??
I had met with a woman that I had never met before and started typing her. Most of the time I can type someone in a few minutes using my own set of questions. I was shocked to see she was an INFJ, and I laughed and asked, "So you think you are really weird, huh??", and she burst out laughing. I told her that I had unlocked the INFJ code a long time ago, and the truth is that you all are oxytocin or love junkies, and the reason you all think you are so weird is that oxytocin does a lot of things, but most importantly, it dulls the senses.
IMO the neurotransmitters affect type/personality dramatically, and when you know what effects these chemicals have, you can have a lot of fun telling people what they like and don't like and what they do and don't do. With INFJs, you love what raises oxytocin (petting a dog or cat, eating dairy or soy products, sex but for the sake of intimacy, nipple stimulation ETC). You want to be in a state of oxytocin bliss.
I was absolutely blown away by how happy she was after meeting me. I guess it is very rare for people to get you all, and when people do, you guys are ecstatic.
BTW, you guys aren't weird, you know that?? You behave exactly like people given high doses of oxytocin would be expected to behave.
I then met a young beautiful girl that was incredibly fit without an ounce of faith. To be honest, when people are as fit and pretty as she, they usually have a mental disorder. The excess amounts of glutamate associated with bipolar disorder and ADHD are treated naturally with extreme exercise, and these folks tend to be hardbodies. She had a cheerleader build, and a sunny personality that I thought was ENFJ. She was stunned when I told her that I was a doctor and that she had an ADD physique. She asked for my card and wanted to see me in my office for a visit. I think that she was intrigued that someone could pick her, someone so vibrant and healthy looking, as being mentally unfit.
She showed up in my office and was a mess. Ms. Perfect Appearance could not stop picking at her fingernails because they were not perfect and was crying that she was so out of control about something that was so stupid. A few more questions confirmed to me that the cause of her elevated glutamate levels was not bipolar disorder or ADHD but OCD. I then started to type her and it became apparent to me that my first hunch was wrong again. She was an INFJ and an extreme introvert to boot.
I was kind of surprised and said, "But you rarely venture out of your circle. You must have been really desperate to seek someone like me out." She burst into tears and said, "you have no idea." I took it as a compliment and then said, "You must have felt really comfortable with me to come here", and she nodded her head. I have read about INFJs and how you all can sense someone's aura. Maybe she did that with me.
I prescribed the medications for OCD and told her that she would probably feel better than she has in quite a while, and she thanked me and was on her way. I started reading about OCD, and I wondered how many INFJs suffered from this disorder.
The theory that made the most sense to me was that a tragic event in someone's life had led to alterations/lower levels of the neurotransmitters serotonin and to a lesser extent dopamine. In this patient, her mother was bipolar and tried killing herself three times. Apparently, she acted as mother and raised her younger sisters.
Of all oxytocin's effects, the most dramatic is its ability to diminish the pain from a traumatic event. From what I have seen, oxytocin does not destroy the memory but lessens the pain from that memory. Although I have read that oxytocin can impair memories.
It left me wondering. How many people who are INFJs have OCD or OCD tendencies? And is it possible that part of the INFJ personality often is the result of the brain reacting to a traumatic event early on in life?
I am not sure, but for whatever reason, God has thrown me into the lives of INFJs here lately, and I wonder why. Do we ESTPs and INFJs need each other more than either type thinks we do??