[earthling]

At least that's what I've read (still new to this).

I have no problems taking care of someone else, but I feel entirely unmotivated to take care of myself (eating right, sleeping well, exercising, etc.).

Does anyone have this problem, or have had this problem - and how do you motivate yourself to take care of yourself?

[eldagrimm]

Oh boy do I ever. I really don't like thinking about what I want or need to the point where the people I care about actually get pissed. Sometimes I do stupid stuff like forget to sleep and wonder why I'm so miserable in the morning when the next day I'm literally reminding my roommate that she has a test tomorrow and I'll leave the room if she wants to go to bed early -_-. I motivate myself to take care of myself by literally thinking about how me wasting away will negatively affect someone who cares about me. Basically, if you're not taking care of yourself, where are you gonna find the energy to help someone else? A healthy INFJ is an even BETTER INFJ.

[vel]

Same problem here. I've noticed when I was in last relationship that I often prioritized taking care of him and at the same time would forget to take care of myself. My ISFJ mother actually has same kind of problem too - she will take care of everyone and run out of energy and time to take care of herself. It is like it is taboo for us to take care of ourselves.

I suppose it is the result of having Fe as your auxiliary function and Ti as your tertiary. Fe prompts you to go out and connect with word outside on basis of making other people feel good and Ti gives those short but high intensive impulses of being self-critical, devaluing yourself and thinking you are not worth it.

[Introspiritual]

Why? We meet others with Fe, and don't develop Se until later in life.

How to get around that? Realize that you have to take care of yourself to take care of others. I have to admit that it took a few lessons in that myself before I started getting the hang of it, though.

[thegirlcandance]

I don't really have this problem... with age, I've given myself limits. I think my Ni and Ti have saved me in this regard. If I was an ENFJ, I'd have worse problems.

[Jwing24]

For me to put myself first I either have to be in a tough situation (unemployed) or I need a bigger reason why I am doing it (building a career, getting healthy etc.) Once I feel I have a good motivation for it, I can definitely do it.

[Annihilatron]

I have this problem from time to time. What I find works is a change of pace, changing the routine. Ultimately, it seems to help with a lot of problems, not necessarily solve them, since usually when i stop taking care of myself its because some emotional event has happened to make me bottle up in introversion. So a change of routine is big.

[bengalcat]

I wish I knew. I have this problem too.

Times when I have taken care of myself are times when I've gotten into a routine. A lot of stuff aligns to make it work right, like the gym at the university is convenient to go to after this class and it has a nice atmosphere and they play music I like etc.

The thought of looking after someone else or making their life better somehow is quite energising. The thought of looking after myself or making my own life better is more neutral, it's like "eh, I could.. but so what?"

I think the thing is.... working for and with other people is like working on a piece of art. There's this transformation and unfolding going on that you can perceive that's quite magical. But working for and with myself is just work. Taking care of other people I really just want good things for them and am much more understanding and open-minded, taking care of myself I suddenly create these standards that I have to live up to which are daunting to have hanging over me.

If I could make taking care of myself fun and free from any pressure and expectations maybe I would do it more?

[ShadowPlay]

answer to op: because we're too busy looking after others! Added with the tendency to do things perfectly, ie: looking after others needs 'perfectly', we're just too tired to look after ourselves, too polite to ask for help, and too empathetic to tell others "save yourself yourself! I'm busy with moi!"

Took me ages to learn to balance this!!!

I wish I had learnt at a younger age that:

1. Selfishness is good, not bad.
2. Don't volunteer advice, teach, direction, help, goods, support, or any form of effort unless specifically requested - with a damn good explanation. The truly needy get off their behind and actively search for what they need. Otherwise your giving will probably be rejected, taken advantage of, misunderstood, unrecognized, or taken for granted.
3. People lose respect for those that volunteer themselves without any personal gain. -It's a value thing.
4. People won't tell you they don't need your help if they are naturally takers - they will just take you for all you're worth.
5. Number 1 comes before number 2, you being number 1.
6. There always seems to be part of 'unconditional' which is actually conditional, don't forget it!

[balderdash]

Once you start taking care of yourself as if you are one of those people you care about (I know it sounds crazy, but you can do it) then it's less of a problem.

Thank goodness for my ENFJ mother. She has already been through most of the problems I can go through and is Extraverted, so telling me how to deal with it isn't really a problem for her. Hearing me tell her I already know, or arguing about how it was different for me (it usually isn't that different), is though.

Edit: I noticed some people were saying they forget to sleep and things like that. I can't imagine forgetting to take care of myself. Sometimes I have neglected things for a bit, but never actually forgot. My problems were always along the lines of not being motivated to do much unless it involved benefiting other people, but I've never been so wrapped up in something that I forget. That sounds not good. :(