[yellowbritt]

Tonight I was taking a walk with a friend and, as usually happens with this friend, she opened up and we were talking about somewhat private things. Lately we talk a lot about what we want in the future. When it was my turn to reveal what I wanted, I couldn't be as specific or open as she would have liked, which was somewhat irritating to her, I think. Not irritating, really, but perplexing maybe.

Beyond feeling slightly embarrassed about telling her my secret, I've found that lately I'm afraid to say out loud what it is I want. I've had a lot of disappointments and hard luck in the past few months, and, as cynical as it sounds, I almost feel like if I say out loud what I want, then it just gives the universe a chance to deny me that, too.



Perhaps some things are too precious to share out loud. Any thoughts on this?

[ertertwert]

It's just you being uncomfortable because you don't want someone to shoot down your idea. I know how that feels. People think my ideas are dumb and laugh at me, which makes me not want to share. But if you end up doing that, it's like letting them win without a fight.

[Bright Laughter]

Oh my you are singing my song! LOL I don't know how I actually feel about it, the verdict is still out.

But I know one piece of information that I found really helpful when I catch myself arguing about it in my head. However, it relates more to a person's thought process about things they don't want vs. things they do want. But whenever I focus a thought to the extent that I've pinpointed what I *do* want, then every minor instance of something to the contrary from then I make a mental note of "I don't want that". So I thought it might still apply here.

The subconscious doesn't recognize the negative of something. Meaning, if you use "don't", "No", etc. in your sentence/thought it won't recogonize it. It's along the lines of, "Don't think of a pink elephant." What did you just do? So everytime you're thinking you don't want something, take the "don't" out of the sentence and that's the message your are sending your subconscious.

I hope they don't have fish for dinner --> I hope they have fish for dinner
I do not want a crappy job --> I do want a crappy job
I don't like being yelled at --> I like being yelled at

Not that this explains it, but maybe it'll help.

[Anahata]

Hello, Beautiful!

Yes, I, too, have felt this compulsion to hold those things I treasure and hope for secret to myself. It was an old superstition that died a long time ago for me through my studies of Karma and Taoism. Recently my lover gave the word "Insallah" to me and I have taken this into myself as well... It is the ultimate surrender, though. We have to-- at some point-- learn to surrender to the universe because we are a part of her. If we do not surrender to acceptance of what random life will deal us and continue to hoard our hopes and dreams within then we must be understand that "fear" will be our partner in life, and "peace" will pass us by.

Namaste, Yellobritt!

[Dauntless]

There's that old chestnut, "What you fear, you'll create."

But on the flip side, there's:

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

I think you are on the right path to not reveal all, it's a good plan, IMO. It has the most meaning to you, as INFJs we are all about the meaning, yes?

[Zero_Origin]

Interesting that I stumbled onto this thread as I was listening to "Secrets" by OneRepublic. Coincidence, or fate? You decide...

[Linus]

Hey I've heard these things before in the other posts.. Law of Attraction

[yellowbritt]

Hey I've heard these things before in the other posts.. Law of Attraction

What do you mean by "Law of Attraction"?

[Linus]

It's this idea that whatever you think about, you attract
The more you focus on one thing, the more you attract it to you
Like attracts like

There are motivational speakers who talk about it .. Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer...

[BodhiTree]

I've found that lately I'm afraid to say out loud what it is I want. I've had a lot of disappointments and hard luck in the past few months, and, as cynical as it sounds, I almost feel like if I say out loud what I want, then it just gives the universe a chance to deny me that, too.

I understand exactly how you feel. I've also had some disappointments, some major ones. But you know what, I still want to achieve my wants and dreams. It doesn't stop me to do things I want to do in life. Don't feel like "it just gives the universe a chance to deny me", if you believe that, it will come true.

So here's what I do: I don't say it loud, I tone it down, but I act. I learn that it's the action that counts, not the words.
If you don't want to share it to anyone, it's your right. And if she's your best friend, she'll understand.