[INFJ] Premartial sex or Postmartial sex? - Page 5

Premartial sex or Postmartial sex?

Hello Guest! Sign up to join the discussion below...
Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst ... 3 4 5 6 LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 56
Thank Tree85Thanks

This is a discussion on Premartial sex or Postmartial sex? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Shea I guess both if I am interpreting your question correctly. Biblically, the Bible clearly sees adultery ...

  1. #41
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Shea View Post
    I guess both if I am interpreting your question correctly. Biblically, the Bible clearly sees adultery as sinful, or at least it was in that time. I also think based on human rational, I think it is better to be intimate with someone who is really committed to you. Of course, considering modern lifespan, innovative birth control techniques, and the fact that we do marry for love more now than at the Biblical period where most marriages were arranged, it seems it is less detrimental/risky to engage in premarital sex. Therefore, I have mixed feelings about this. Even if I was not religious, I still think I would only be comfortable being intimate with someone I loved at the very least just based on my own comfort level. But of course, other people may value sex and marriage in a different way than I do.
    Well, you can feel free to logically rationalize when you should have sex. But from a biblical standpoint, it clearly states that one should not have sex before marriage. Again, as a human, you can rationalize it to your own actions by declaring the "type" of time period back then, and how now we marry more for love, but it doesn't change the scripture; and if one is operating with a Biblical Worldview, and thus follow the scripture, there is no "rationalizing" it to fit human desires.

    It didn't say, "Only arrange marriages shouldn't have sex before marriage," or, "Once you reach the 21st century I deem is okay to have sex before marriage."

    My point being, please do not alter the scriptures to fit your actions, because you risk the possibility of leading another Christian astray.

    But again, if you're just answering this from a "worldview" perspective, and not a "biblical worldview," then feel free to debate and feel which ever way makes you happy. :)
    Shea and ellio thanked this post.

  2. #42
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Antipode View Post
    Well, you can feel free to logically rationalize when you should have sex. But from a biblical standpoint, it clearly states that one should not have sex before marriage. Again, as a human, you can rationalize it to your own actions by declaring the "type" of time period back then, and how now we marry more for love, but it doesn't change the scripture; and if one is operating with a Biblical Worldview, and thus follow the scripture, there is no "rationalizing" it to fit human desires.

    It didn't say, "Only arrange marriages shouldn't have sex before marriage," or, "Once you reach the 21st century I deem is okay to have sex before marriage."

    My point being, please do not alter the scriptures to fit your actions, because you risk the possibility of leading another Christian astray.

    But again, if you're just answering this from a "worldview" perspective, and not a "biblical worldview," then feel free to debate and feel which ever way makes you happy. :)
    Fair enough. I do agree that you cannot just make scripture fit what you want. It's just that I don't know if I will be able to wait seeing as I have not been in a relationship long enough for sex to even come up in the foreseeable future. I know what the expectations are, but I am not necessarily sure if I can live up to those expectations realistically. If I do, great. If not, I would hope that I at least chose a good partner. Either way, the first time is going to be awkward, and I should not make any decision driven by guilt whether it is not waiting because I feel pressured to rush into things or waiting because I feel it is something I feel like have to do with only the reason of "because I said so". I'm just saying they would've had an easier time waiting because they got married very young and only lived to be about 30 or 40 anyway, and they had several other good reasons not to. We live to be about 100 now, and can hardly guarantee when or if we will get married.

  3. #43
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Shea View Post
    Fair enough. I do agree that you cannot just make scripture fit what you want. It's just that I don't know if I will be able to wait seeing as I have not been in a relationship long enough for sex to even come up in the foreseeable future. I know what the expectations are, but I am not necessarily sure if I can live up to those expectations realistically. If I do, great. If not, I would hope that I at least chose a good partner. Either way, the first time is going to be awkward, and I should not make any decision driven by guilt whether it is not waiting because I feel pressured to rush into things or waiting because I feel it is something I feel like have to do with only the reason of "because I said so".
    Jesus came to wipe away our sins, knowing we could never fully live up to the expectations. This doesn't mean, however, going into it with the mindset that you're going to sin because you know you're weak. I'd say walk into it with the expectation that you won't fall into sin--set boundaries with your partner--and if something does happen, know to repent and honor God for his grace that He sent down His son to save you.

    Secondly, you SHOULD feel guilty for disobeying God and His word. I'd worry about your relationship with God if you felt no remorse for sinning. While all of his laws and commands have reasoning and logic to them, sometimes we don't understand that logic, and because you're a servant of God, you should do things "because He said so," having faith that He said them for good reason.

    I'm not say it's the easiest thing in the world, but it is rewarding. :) You always have the choice, regardless; that's the beauty of it all.
    Shea and sunflowersoul thanked this post.

  4. #44
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Antipode View Post
    Jesus came to wipe away our sins, knowing we could never fully live up to the expectations. This doesn't mean, however, going into it with the mindset that you're going to sin because you know you're weak. I'd say walk into it with the expectation that you won't fall into sin--set boundaries with your partner--and if something does happen, know to repent and honor God for his grace that He sent down His son to save you.

    Secondly, you SHOULD feel guilty for disobeying God and His word. I'd worry about your relationship with God if you felt no remorse for sinning. While all of his laws and commands have reasoning and logic to them, sometimes we don't understand that logic, and because you're a servant of God, you should do things "because He said so," having faith that He said them for good reason.

    I'm not say it's the easiest thing in the world, but it is rewarding. :) You always have the choice, regardless; that's the beauty of it all.
    Very well put. Thank you. I also found this link which shows some really good benefits for waiting until marriage. Doesn't mean that everything will be unicorns and rainbows, but setting standards before definitely reinforces the idea that both people are trying really hard to make the relationship work even before marriage. Anyway, here is the link: The Top 11 Awesome Benefits of Waiting Until Marriage | WaitingTillMarriage.org You also have a point when you think about original sin that it wouldn't make sense in any other context for Adam and Eve to not be allowed to eat a fruit other than just because it would disobey God's will. And yes, I would feel a huge amount of remorse if I didn't wait considering I feel remorse for even sins that seem small.
    sunflowersoul and damiencortex thanked this post.

  5. #45

    @TheGryffindorLioness - to answer your question (which I totally ignored), I don't think it makes you a slut to sleep with someone you're not married to. I believe in waiting till marriage, so my opinion is biased in that way; BUT I would advise at least waiting for someone you're in love with and in a committed relationship with. Of course I'll advocate for postmarital sex instead, as I think that even without religious obligation there are still merits to chastity. But please don't slut-shame yourself for having sex!
    Shea and damiencortex thanked this post.

  6. #46
    INFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by thismustbetheplace View Post
    It's just sex. Why do people make such a big fucking deal about it? It's no different from eating, sleeping, or any other physical need.
    This is my way of thinking for the most part. It's just sex. Virtually every vertebrate on the planet does it but humans have put such extreme and often unrealistic values on it. Maybe for good reason though prior to birth control. I don't agree that it's a "need" though, I don't think anyone has died from lack of sex. But it is fun and very good for mental health at least.

    Even when I was young, I viewed sex much more freely than my girlfriends, even more-so now. However I am in love, and he's the only person I would currently consider a physical relationship with. I am very loyal to the men I've had in my life.

    That said, folks do need to make their own decisions for themselves and be true to their values.
    dragthewaters thanked this post.

  7. #47
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Postmarital. The guy who wants me the most will marry me, and he'll be the one who deserves it the most.

    It's not just sex. A guy will have changed a part of my body after the first time. That's a big deal.

  8. #48
    INFP - The Idealists


    Quote Originally Posted by Dah View Post
    This is my way of thinking for the most part. It's just sex. Virtually every vertebrate on the planet does it but humans have put such extreme and often unrealistic values on it. Maybe for good reason though prior to birth control. I don't agree that it's a "need" though, I don't think anyone has died from lack of sex. But it is fun and very good for mental health at least.

    Even when I was young, I viewed sex much more freely than my girlfriends, even more-so now. However I am in love, and he's the only person I would currently consider a physical relationship with. I am very loyal to the men I've had in my life.

    That said, folks do need to make their own decisions for themselves and be true to their values.
    I'd disagree with you about it not being a need. Lots of people have committed suicide over lack of sex. Sex is a need like having friends is a need. Some people can get along without it but for most people it's a vital component of good emotional health.

    I guess maybe being in a relationship has made me more cavalier about sex. Before I was in a relationship sex (along with love) was like this mythical creature that you were constantly hoping to catch. Now I refer to having sex as "getting an oil change," like when my fiance and I have gone too long without sex I say to him "Hey, it's time to get an oil change!"

    I have no moral opposition to one night stands and so forth, but of course my Ne-Fi brain is not satisfied with them. To me having a one night stand or casual sexual relationship, assuming it's with a cool person, is like only eating one potato chip. I like for emotions to get involved. I wouldn't mind sleeping with other people, honestly (once again, blame the Ne) but my fiance is my family and I can't imagine breaking up with him, and he's not into polyamory, so, monogamy it is

    Quote Originally Posted by mony View Post
    It's not just sex. A guy will have changed a part of my body after the first time. That's a big deal.
    Actually most women's hymens are broken by the time they lose their virginity. To be blunt, most "take matters into their own hands" (so to speak) long before they lose their virginity.

  9. #49
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by thismustbetheplace View Post

    Actually most women's hymens are broken by the time they lose their virginity. To be blunt, most "take matters into their own hands" (so to speak) long before they lose their virginity.
    I understand that some women do this, but I disagree that most women do it. Also, it still does not change the fact that their body changed and plenty of women regret doing so.

    I know I would regret it. I would rather have a guy break my hymen than myself.

  10. #50

    Quote Originally Posted by Lad View Post
    All my relationships have been over a year in length and of course "serious" in nature. No regrets at all as I'm thankful that we were able to grow together for a period of our lives until we eventually felt the need to grow apart.
    This is exactly my situation. I'm never going to have casual sex, but if I'm serious with someone and there's mutual respect and love, then it's okay. I don't have any moral obligations stopping me as long as we're both safe. On top of that, to me it would feel strange to find out my husband and I are sexually incompatible AFTER we get married...
    Lad thanked this post.


     
Page 5 of 6 FirstFirst ... 3 4 5 6 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:59 PM.
Information provided on the site is meant to complement and not replace any advice or information from a health professional.
© 2014 PersonalityCafe
 

SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0