[sea cucumber]

HI even though I’m new to PC I’m hoping you guys are kind enough to help me with my burning question: How can you tell if an ENFP like you in a romantic way or at least fancies you? I am so confused!



Ok so the situation is this. I moved from my house to a house share about 6 moths ago. The landlord lives there to he’s 3-4 years older than me. He’s and ENFP and I’m an INFJ and we get on insanely well. We have loads in common, general stuff…. food music, hobbies, interest. We are matched in our intelligence, creativity and sense of humour, we have the same laid-back attitude, and we always seem to come to the same conclusions on things. He is so playful and I love it. If were not laughing our socks of at each others jokes, were debating, teaching the other something, playfully bickering, cooking for each other, helping each other out with advise or just listening to what the other has to say. We seem to get into a playful zone where the other housemates are pretty astounded because they have no idea what we are going on about! We look at each other constantly and I can often tell what he’s thinking or going to say next.
We seem to be forming a very solid partnership the daily running or the house are done via our behind the scenes partnership

We once had a misunderstanding where we upset each other a little bit; the way we fix it was smooth, efficient, fair and reasonable. He does seem to understand my strange INFJ mind workings or at least he tries! (Wow F-ing wow)
So I like him, considering relationships past that have got to pot, this could be a potential winner! I’m not fizzing with desire because I vowed never to go down the unrequited love rout again, but if potentially the attraction is not unrequited then I’m going for it. If not then im glad to have a great friend and remain unaffected.
Ok potential evidence for (I think)
He has a pet name for his favourite people, I have that name plus he says I am an A* one!
Hes always pleased to see me, if he had a tail it would be wagging like mad
He consults me on a lot of decisions
The strange hug moment we had only known each other for a couple of days.
He’s told me he thinks im very attractive, and intelligent and funny he does try to touch me (but I instinctively pull away a bit)
I get lots xxx on my messages from him, (I think lots of girls do)
He’s likes me to meet and interact with his friends, he evicted this girl at home who made me cry. Hes very strange with me when he’s drunk.
He looks at me a lot and there have been a couple of Freudian slips on his part.
He seem impressed with my general kindness and willingness to help things run smoothly for our house and all that live there. he comments on it, he notices what i do and others dont
Against + complications
He seems interested in loads of girls, he’s a charmer and he’s always going on dates!
He’s in his early 30s and has only ever had 2 relationships that didn’t last long, he’s so set in his bachelor ways maybe he would notice a woman that screams ‘potential winner’ even if she lived with him!! The girls he likes aren’t like me at all. They are very attractive cool party girls. He seems to be very flirty with everyone. He cant get his hair cut without asking the pretty hairdresser on a date, so why not me?
He seems more interested in the way girls look than their personality so maybe the fact that we click means nothing to him.

Im so confused as to whether Im getting clues or not that I keep shelling up. The way he is I would expect that he woud be very forward and clear if liked me in that way but maybe not? I don’t know what the ENFP signs are?
Sorry that was so long. Any thought would very appreciate. x x

[geGamedev]

Shouldn't this be in the ENFP forum? I'd like to know the same thing but I'm not so sure this is where you'll get what you're looking for.

[sea cucumber]

Hmm may be i wasnt sure. do you think i can move it? Hang on in there, lets hope we both get some answers!

[sea cucumber]

I moved it, its in the ENFP forum now

[nikkii]

lol, ENFPs are so darn flirty its hard to tell who they really like(at least the one i know is), but what i've learn is that they will crave your attention more than others around if they really like you.

[Unicorntopia]

Oh, no. I have no idea what to tell you. This is the main problem I have with ENFPs. Do not let yourself fall for him unless you get some confidence that he plans on sticking with you. This sounds like a potential heart breaking situation. You should try to inconspicuously get him in a conversation where he tells you whether or not he ever plans on finding someone to marry and how far off in the future, or if he wants to just float from girl to girl forever. I would most definitely play hard to get in this situation. If you look confident and like you can get any man you want too than he will most likely look more favorably upon you. You will not look desperate or like you will cling to him immediately if he were to make a move. Keep nursing the good friendship connection thing though. You cannot turn into one of the types of girls he normally goes for, but you can appeal to a different side of him. That might be why he has not settled down yet too. Maybe he has a habit of looking for qualities in girls that actually are not the qualities he needs for a long relationship. Since he is an ENFP I think if you hold off long enough, he will slip and show that he likes you. It sounds like he likes you a lot but is not fully aware of it or won't fully accept it because you are roommates, he normally goes for a different type of girl and he may not have made the connection yet. Since he is not an introvert like you he is not constantly analyzing his own feelings and motivations.

[sea cucumber]

Rosbier very clever indeed! I hav already thought along thease lines and yes we have had the convo and yes he does want to marry. I dont know how to qute but to qoute yes very clever and again genus
im a bid girl so there no worry of my heart brecking I havnt fallen for him i just simply recognised this is what real compatabilty as in the past Iv never had it! Im going for to hard to get, and he doesnt really have a type. Its just he knows he's diffrent (we are also both dyslexic and left brain and right brain domaninant at the time) so yeah he is odd and he figures if they cant hold a good converstion they should at least be very pretty! My confidence is low at the moment so the whole him going for the outgoing pretty blond rather than a very brunette and clever girl is harder than him being flirty and me being confused about weather or not he fanicies me. I figure do all guys like this

we Nikkii thats interesting because Id say he does. Im clearly the favorite at home, but thats the thing i dont know aht it means? In my INFJ worls those things a massive flashing sighns of I FANCY YOU LOADS in ENFP land im not sure. thank you for help girls x

[EmpireConquered]

ENFPs flirts with anyone they like. But when they really like you seriously, they clam up and act out of character.