This is mostly a blog. This has been on my mind today so I thought I would share it with you. If you're not interested in my life story, then disregard this thread. I'm mostly getting it off my chest.
My mother had Multiple Sclerosis. She was diagnosed just 3 months after I was born though I know that she was in the early stages probably from a year leading up to that. I have learned that there are different stages of MS. My mother had the most progressive kind. She lost had to use a cane at the age of 26. By age 29, she had to use a scooter. Then it got much worse.
When she was just in her 30s, she had to put in a nursing home. She had become completley paralyzed from the neck down. Her speech was slurred. I had to put my ear right up to her mouth in order to hear her. I seemed to be one of the very few people who could understand her.
My father was ashamed that he wasn't able to take care of her. They never got along anway. He became an alcoholic. My grandparents took custody of me. I visted my mother every weekend. I would always bring a movie with me. Her favorite was Spaceballs- she seemed to really like comedies for some reason.
She was a very fun-loving and free-spirited person dispite her illness. I had fun joking around with her when I was younger. I think a lot of my sense of humor comes from her.
She died of pneumonia when I was 18. Her body was too frail to fight off the disease. It was the middle of my senior year of high school. I developed insomnia, and I wanted to DO something about it even though there was really nothing that could be done. It seemed so unfair to me.
I found out about the MS Walks that the MS Society has, and I raised money for them once a year for six years. Then, I stopped, because I became too issolated from the rest of the world to raise money, and I was flat broke myself. This was during my "self-imporvement" Era which lasted until a couple of months ago when I found out that I was an INFJ and- due to my fantasic insight - I became self-actualized.
I want to start doing the Walks again. They have them every April. I don't know if I'll be able to raise money for it for this April. Maybe I can though.
I miss mom.