[GreenCoyote]

I meet so many people everyday that are wonderful and perfect for me.
My problem is that I never know if I like them or not.

I think I wish I just had my own feelings in a social environment but I mix them with peoples more often than simply staying to myself.
I'm sorry!!!
it's addicting!

anyway. I met this guy the other night.
and WOW!
well... actually this has happened more than once with multiple people...
I basically get into touch with these men and the fact that I am such a "magical" person can get in the way of normal everyday needs and things that I want.
I don't get it.
I guess my other friend knows how I really feel. but even that scares me because she will like the same guys I do. and I don't know if I am picking up on her vibes.
ugh.
painful this all is.

I do want some form of love/lust release sometime... but I am so terrified in myself and not confident that the only time I can be confident is if I take it from other people...
kind of confused.
INFJ help please?



I am trying to be more open with different parts of my inner spontaneity and trying to be less explaining/excuses. so within that mindset how do I fix these feelings and feelings of others so I can actually grow for myself while teaching other people.
I have been ignoring my own needs for a while... or other peoples needs for a while...
I can't really tell anymore :(

[Razare]

I do something similar. I only respond to sexually interesting women if they show interest in me.

The thing is, I have no clue how to select a mate. I have some vague ideas about what I want, but it's not like I get to go around selecting people while knowing everything about them. Relationships often start when you know very very little about a person, far too little to reliably discern the things I am after.

If I could somehow find a woman that met my criteria, I probably would want her immensely and pursue it to my best ability.

Yet, I don't find these women since most don't wear signs on their forehead saying "responsible", "mature", or similar things.

For example, there is an attractive woman at work who I think is at the very least a nice person. I cannot decide if I want to ask her on a date or not. I wont ask a woman on a date purely based on looks like most men; because looks is only one small part of what I'm after. I have no way of determining if I'd want to date her, other than getting to know her better. This ultimately leads to the friend zone, which is dangerous territory. So my only hope is to observe her interactions with other people, while keeping my distance.

More often than not, I just do what you do and respond emotionally to people who seek me out and are giving me emotional input. This is the easiest way to go because you don't have to make blind decisions, you instead, just let things happen.

[Razare]

Oh, but you know, you are a female. Just figure out what you're after in a guy and get to know guys as friends. Figure out if they got what you're seeking and then you can date them.

Women don't have to worry about the friend zone problem, so you have it easy.

You don't have to even ask either, use your body language to say you're interested and the guys will ask you.

So unless you're ugly, it's really your game to lose.

[Gildar]

Oh, but you know, you are a female. Just figure out what you're after in a guy and get to know guys as friends. Figure out if they got what you're seeking and then you can date them.

Women don't have to worry about the friend zone problem, so you have it easy.

You don't have to even ask either, use your body language to say you're interested and the guys will ask you.

So unless you're ugly, it's really your game to lose.

the friend zone is their doing because they make nice guys or all guys not a choice of a a partner upon befriending us, perhaps she not one of the many that do this though then she is lucky.

GreenCoyote i don't have any advice since i never made it passed asking someone out or telling them my feelings.....i get various forms of "no" and your like a brother to me.....so random girls don't want me because i stutter upon asking them out and my 2 female friends i started to have feelings for friend zoned me . I also suffer the longing for a love release for years except no one wants it(this sentence seems it could be taken wrong and now it shouldn't)