[INFJ] Talking is physically and mentally draining?

Talking is physically and mentally draining?

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This is a discussion on Talking is physically and mentally draining? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    Talking is physically and mentally draining?

    Talking seems to drain me out. a LOT. Sometimes in conversations, I feel like someone's pulled an imaginary plug and the longer the conversation, the more and more physically drained I get. For example, I have a friend that can talk for 3 hours straight. I love my friend, but even after about 30 minutes, I will feel immensely exhausted. She is talking so rapidly and so intensely, whereas I am mellow and need some space/time to react. If we are sitting on the same couch talking like this, I will be really drained. But if I can maintain some space/distance, like sitting on a different couch at least a few feet away, it seems to be a little bit better.

    I also find conversations with my IxTx friends to be mentally draining… I guess we often spend hours and hours talking about society and the world. They spend a lot of time criticizing society, or when people act stupid, or criticizing certain authors/journalists, critiquing new articles. and they find this stimulating. I do, too (but only within school I guess). I don't know why but I just find this mentally draining and find myself just nodding along. Don't get me wrong. I care about what goes on in the world, but i'd rather talk about myself, about my my friend's life, about experiences I've had, about experiences my friends had, relating to each other, that sort of thing. I find all this critical talk/talk about the world as equivalent to small talk. and hours of small talk is just too tough on me. The thing is, I have some similar opinions as they do, but for me it's kind of obvious/internalized that society is stupid, there are bad people and so forth. However, I don't find a need to talk about it. I'd rather talk about important things...
    Last edited by curious0610; 08-07-2010 at 01:44 AM.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    There are certain people that can drain me easily, yet others that I can talk to for hours and afterwards I feel a bit energized. With me, it depends on the person and the mood I'm in. I do know that if I'm in a bigger group of people...like three or more, I'm completely drained, even if I don't talk.
    The Vizier thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by curious0610 View Post
    Talking seems to drain me out. a LOT. Sometimes in conversations, I feel like someone's pulled an imaginary plug and the longer the conversation, the more and more physically drained I get. For example, I have a friend that can talk for 3 hours straight. I love my friend, but even after about 30 minutes, I will feel immensely exhausted. She is talking so rapidly and so intensely, whereas I am mellow and need some space/time to react. If we are sitting on the same couch talking like this, I will be really drained. But if I can maintain some space/distance, like sitting on a different couch at least a few feet away, it seems to be a little bit better.
    I have been in a similiar situation like you. There are one or 2 friends who can keep talking and talking about stuff and I just feel drained listening to them. I think a lot of the draining comes from their attitude, their anger, their frustration, criticisms and negativity. I never have this problem and can go on for hours if the attitude is more positive and focused on solutions.

    Quote Originally Posted by StarryNight View Post
    There are certain people that can drain me easily, yet others that I can talk to for hours and afterwards I feel a bit energized. With me, it depends on the person and the mood I'm in. I do know that if I'm in a bigger group of people...like three or more, I'm completely drained, even if I don't talk.
    Yeah I feel exactly the same way in big groups; I get tired easily probably because I have to channel my energy in so many directions and so I don't say much. Personally I'm not too keen to be in groups because the conversation is usually quite boring for me as they don't talk about stuff that interest me. Well it's good to know I'm not alone.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    just the act of talking drains me sometimes
    and especially people who are addicted to focusing on negative stuff just for the sake of it and endlessly justifying such ill tendencies..
    but after a long period of introverted process i find myself filled with more unusual and interesting idea and i become communicatable for qutie a short while.. quite intense though
    The Vizier thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I find I drain people haha
    I don't even speak about anything negative, I think people just get annoyed with me thinking (either in my head or aloud)
    They look like they are impatient while I'm speaking/thinking
    One of my theories is, I don't have enough facial expression or change in tone of voice
    And I also don't give a quick answer
    I find them a bit childish to have to NEED that though. If they want a reaction, only then will I give them one. A bonk on the head!
    Collossus thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I agree, I wonder how quiet INFJs are compared to the other introverts. I notice that introverted sensors tend to find more things to talk about, just through commenting on things in their environment, pointing out details I'm completely oblivious to, or having an affinity for anecdotes. There are also more personalities they can relate to irl. Ni also thinks abstractly so our thoughts would be harder to articulate? At least that's definitely how it feels for me!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Vizier View Post
    I have been in a similiar situation like you. There are one or 2 friends who can keep talking and talking about stuff and I just feel drained listening to them. I think a lot of the draining comes from their attitude, their anger, their frustration, criticisms and negativity. I never have this problem and can go on for hours if the attitude is more positive and focused on solutions.
    True. I've experienced being drained by that sort of critical IxTx society bashing too when at first I was interested. Maybe bc I've had the same frustrating dialogue with myself so many times that it would be more refreshing to talk about possible solutions. They are also not expressing how it makes them feel, how the quality of their experiences have been affected, just why the policies are illogical, so we can begin to feel disengaged as the conversation is more impersonal and task focused. With my ENFJ friend for example, we were able to talk for 4hrs on the phone once and she was the one who said she had to go first :p
    The Vizier thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by spook View Post
    True. I've experienced being drained by that sort of critical IxTx society bashing too when at first I was interested. Maybe bc I've had the same frustrating dialogue with myself so many times that it would be more refreshing to talk about possible solutions. They are also not expressing how it makes them feel, how the quality of their experiences have been affected, just why the policies are illogical, so we can begin to feel disengaged as the conversation is more impersonal and task focused. With my ENFJ friend for example, we were able to talk for 4hrs on the phone once and she was the one who said she had to go first :p
    Hah, talk about wearing out your friend. :P

    But yeah you're right about how such conversations would have been more interesting if it were more personal or had positive steps that we could take. Yes it is true that you need to talk and vent your frustrations once in awhile to get things off your chest about something. I just don't like beating a dead horse to death. After awhile it is best to bury it or something. Move on to the next horse that is still alive so we can make a difference of sorts.

  8. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers

    one thing you can try is to stop trying to make sense of what others are saying, just do it like they do, talk a lot, enthusiastically, don't really stop to think

  9. #9
    Unknown Personality

    Conversation requires too much mental action. At least at my job (a call center), all I have to focus on is the tone and inflection of my voice

    I don't really seek conversation out unless I'm in a good mood or I want something. Conversations however seem to find their way to me-- I'm quite the popular one at work > <

    My roommate is an ENFP and doesn't seem to understand why I need alone time after work
    The Vizier thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    I totally agree. I am very happy talking about things that are going on in people's lives, art, music, books and all that sort of thing, but I hate having to talk about political/society sort of stuff. I either don't have enough information to have an informed opinion so I can't either agree or disagree wth them, or else I feel as if it always ends up going into conflict which I hate. I don't like having to defend my opinions, or someone attacking me with some fact or opinion that I don't know or care enough about to dispute. The only time it's okay is with my ENTP friends because they tend to be happy going through their ideas without expecting too much of a reaction from me! My ESTP brother does my head in because he is so aggressive with his ill-informed ideas about the world and conspiracy theories etc. He's always justifying people's right to speed in their cars, for example, whereas this completely outrages me.


 
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