[INFJ] Advantages, disadvantages for Marrying Late.

Advantages, disadvantages for Marrying Late.

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This is a discussion on Advantages, disadvantages for Marrying Late. within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Lately I've been giving some thought to marriage and settling down. I realized that I'd be content with remaining unattached ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    Advantages, disadvantages for Marrying Late.

    Lately I've been giving some thought to marriage and settling down. I realized that I'd be content with remaining unattached and I don't view marriage as a requirement for me to be content in life. At the same time, I haven't completely ruled out marriage. If I do get married, I would prefer to marry later rather than sooner, to the person I would remain with for the rest of my life. I'm thinking late twenties or even thirties.

    That said, I wanted to hear various viewpoints from others before crystallizing my thoughts on this. What are the advantages and disadvantages of marrying later? I want to hear your thoughts!

    Advantages
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    Disadvantages
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  2. #2
    Unknown Personality

    I can't think of advantages or disadvantages of when one should marry because it is depended on the person, where they are in their life, their maturity, their experiences, etc. When someone is ready to be married they should at whatever age.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Advantages for marrying "later" relatively speaking

    -You are probably more financially stable, which is a must for a stable marriage
    -You're more biologically mature (at your peak, which is about at 30 for most women) to have children
    -You're more realistic and mature when it comes to expectations and relations, ofcourse it also depends on your experience
    -Commitment and long-term seeking couples marry at that time I reckon, mostly
    -Psychological and emotional stability have matured (in your thirties)
    -You can concentrate in having better grades in your studies, which is a plus...
    -You can profit from being single (Yes, being single can be a blessing sometimes, especially to INFJs) thus have more experience in life.
    -You can discern what you really want in life.

    Disadvantages:
    -The longing you may have until so. If you get in a relationship before your late twenties or thirties, your partner may get impatient ()

    No real disadvantages really. It's always better to marry a little bit too late than too soon.
    darksoul, Naqsh and CynicallyNaive thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    I pretty much agree with SolidSnake. Even on the one disadvantage that comes to mind, haha.

    One other huge advantage i didn't see mentioned: Marrying later gives you more room to get to know the person you're marrying. It's not a perfect correlation, of course (you might meet at age 30.0 and get married at 30.1) but IMO a fairly long friendship with someone is the best basis for marriage. So waiting a bit would be a necessary but not sufficient condition to let that sort of relationship grow.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Late twenties is marrying LATE?! Shit, I really need to get on the ball here....

    Here I thought I was STILL YOUNG at 28...
    yellowbritt thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFP - The Idealists

    Ha, LitNerd, i'm a very young 37, single, never married. Age is all in your head, anyway.... (until the body starts breaking down, but let's not think about that).
    yellowbritt thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by LiteratureNerd View Post
    Late twenties is marrying LATE?! Shit, I really need to get on the ball here....

    Here I thought I was STILL YOUNG at 28...
    In my home country you'd be considered desperate at that age. A woman past 25 is 'spoiled goods'. Everybody tries to marry up while they are still in college or shortly after. It is really crazy, but then a lot of places don't even want to hire you past your 40s either.

    To answer the OP, if you don't want to have children then it doesn't really matter. If you do then you want to do so before you turn 35 because after fertility falls quite a bit and chances of miscarriages and genetic diseases rise substantially. Relationships do take at least a couple of years to develop and not all of them end in marriage.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by CynicallyNaive View Post

    One other huge advantage i didn't see mentioned: Marrying later gives you more room to get to know the person you're marrying. It's not a perfect correlation, of course (you might meet at age 30.0 and get married at 30.1) but IMO a fairly long friendship with someone is the best basis for marriage. So waiting a bit would be a necessary but not sufficient condition to let that sort of relationship grow.
    True. Friendship is the best ground for ANY lasting marriage. Just make sure you don't end up in the deadly 'friend zone'

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by vel View Post
    In my home country you'd be considered desperate at [age 28].
    I don't doubt that's true in a lot of places. Even in the US, i'd imagine some people think that about their 28-yo friends, although it would be taboo and frankly rude to express that thought.

    (Hmmm, and we also had a divorce rate over 40% not too long ago....)

    Would you mind sharing your home country, or at least some generalities, i.e. is it primarily religious or secular, what continent, etc.?

  10. #10
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Solid Snake View Post
    Just make sure you don't end up in the deadly 'friend zone'
    Ha! I'm pretty well convinced that any woman worth marrying isn't going to have a friend zone to be worried about. (Maybe your laughing icon is to indicate sarcasm.)

    I recently let fear of the friend zone propel me to take a negative step in a friendship, although it seems to have turned out OK.


 
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