[vagus]

I have an INFJ friend and she holds in a lot of things that bother her. I know people do things that bother her she won't speak up about it. Instead she internalizes it and just deals with it. Basically anything that hurts her feelings she will she keep it inside and won't share it.

Do you experience similar things? Do these things build up inside of you and eventually drive you crazy? Does it ever help to talk about it?

[IoN]

Yep that's how I do things... Everything that happens to me, everything that bothers me, stays in me and doesn't come out. And like that's not enough, friends from my class come to me and tell me their problems and ask me for advice. I love helping them and it isn't that hard for us INFJ-s to deal with that kind of things, but still, it comes out eventually. Its hard for me to find a person who i can trust and besides that, when i find that person, I don't want to bother that person with my problems so i keep my mouth shout...

[Elan]

I'm exactly like that. If anything bothers me, I internalize it rather than allow myself to show that it has bothered me. Most certainly, you can see it in my eyes (you can always see it in the eyes), but there's no way in hell someone is going to pry the problem out of me or get me to open up if I'm not ready to talk. I contain the issue, deal with it, where it eventually diffuses and I am content again.

It certainly helps to talk about it, but not if the "talk" is being forced. As long as someone makes themselves available to me, I may just indulge them with my problems.

[vagus]

Yep that's how I do things... Everything that happens to me, everything that bothers me, stays in me and doesn't come out. And like that's not enough, friends from my class come to me and tell me their problems and ask me for advice. I love helping them and it isn't that hard for us INFJ-s to deal with that kind of things, but still, it comes out eventually. Its hard for me to find a person who i can trust and besides that, when i find that person, I don't want to bother that person with my problems so i keep my mouth shout...

Your avatar pretty much sums up what I think is going to happen to her one day.

I think she does have someone that she talks to but I'm not sure. I think being a little more confrontational would be a liberating experience for her but I'm not sure how I would recommend that to her. She doesn't seem to like to confront things that bother her.

I have stood up for her against her insensitive roommate. But after doing it a couple times I realized I couldn't keep doing that. I was creating a weird imbalance in their friendship.

[Prestmackine]

"I keep a poker face so well that even mother doesn't know"

I usually try to keep it bottled in but compared to alot of people especially other men I'm alot better.

I've even cried in public a few times...

[laurie17]

I usually keep things bottled up if I'm around friends. Family, I can express all my emotions to, but not friends. Don't know why...

I always get it out in some way later though (usually either writing or crying).

[GreenCoyote]

I do the same as pretty much everyone.

I think some INFJ's hold it in and cry later, some just don't cry...(health problems)
and others can cry on the spot.

It's hard especially if your guard is down and you get hurt, often times when around people I care about I just start crying when they hurt me... I don't talk about it though...

:(

I just don't like bringing my problems to surface because it just causes more pain and I don't want my issues to be rejected my other people in my society.
I don't want them to feel I am being irrational, cause that would kill me, my problems are often times very personal issues,
I mean obviously... or they wouldn't affect me that deeply.

[MoonLight]

I bottle up a lot of things but some things I do talk about with others especially if I'm irritated (for some reason people can understand that more than sad feelings). There are different reasons why I might not tell people what I'm feeling and thinking 1) they will not understand (I know that because I tried and I was brushed of leading to # 2) 2) people don't acknowledge what I say and undermine it (that hurts the most) and 3) not to burden anyone (especially if they already have problems). The exception to this would be if I was criticized and it was wrong, I confront it head on.

I deal with it by accepting something is wrong and I try to find ways to relieve the stress.

[GreenCoyote]

I bottle up a lot of things but some things I do talk about with others especially if I'm irritated (for some reason people can understand that more than sad feelings). There are different reasons why I might not tell people what I'm feeling and thinking 1) they will not understand (I know that because I tried and I was brushed of leading to # 2) 2) people don't acknowledge what I say and undermine it (that hurts the most) and 3) not to burden anyone (especially if they already have problems). The exception to this would be if I was criticized and it was wrong, I confront it head on.

I deal with it by accepting something is wrong and I try to find ways to relieve the stress.

same for me... you explained it better. :)

[Linus]

I keep it to myself too, but the reason is that I am the one who can solve it
There are factors involved, like ideals that are personal, which apply to the problems
so there's really no point telling someone else about it.

Not exactly the same topic, but I had this issue at college
where my teacher was trying to 'help me out' because she thought I was having a hard time.
But I didn't want anyone's help, it's not why I took the class in the first place. I don't want just the answer, the process to getting there is a huge part of it.