[Linus]

by quietmusician

1. An INFJ demeanor can range from either appearing sad to lost in thought to slightly angry or irritated. Of course I have known some with a more outgoing and overall happy demeanor. A lot of times their face can be easily read by how they are feeling at the moment. They may appear slightly rigid in body movement, like they can't quite become comfortable being in public.
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2. When speaking, an INFJ might use a lot of exasperated sighs when speaking about something in general. However, when hitting topics they know best and love they can sometimes become more upbeat and gregarious. And almost to the point of appearing to be someone else for the time span of their conversation.
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3. An INFJ will open up to a close friend, someone they trust deeply. And often their conversations might have a lot to do with helping others or being overly concerned about someone or something they know well. Their compassion shines through which contradicts with their reserved, sometimes cold facial expressions.

Tips & Warnings
- It's not easy befriending an INFJ, but when you do it's because they have learned to trust you. The best thing to do is not push them to open up when they don't want to..let them come to you.
- Approaching an INFJ with an agenda will not likely put you on their "good" side or gain a possible friendship with them.
- Be yourself, an INFJ will know when you aren't being authentic.

[Linus]

By A.C. Huppert

• Watch their body language. INFJs are quiet. In social situations, the INFJ is often uncomfortable. They prefer one-on-one contact to group interaction. Approval or disapproval can often be seen in their facial expressions. An INFJ walks erect and with purpose and they appear to be focused on where they are going. The INFJ also tends to be uncoordinated and is likely to bump into a table or trip on a step.
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• Listen for verbal clues. An INFJ uses a lot of figurative language with deeper meaning. Because of the unconscious nature of their dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), the INFJ will often seem to ramble as they search for the right words. Parasitic words such as "like" or "um" litter their speech as they attempt to express themselves coherently.
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• Get in touch with their feelings. INFJs use Extraverted Feeling (Fe) to express themselves. Using Fe, an INFJ will use language to express their values. It drives them to go to great lengths to promote harmony. Extraverted Feeling motivates the INFJ to help others. Fe also causes an INFJ to do things because it is appropriate. They care how they are perceived by others.
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• Check out what they're wearing. An INFJ will choose appearance over function. Their outfits are usually conservative and coordinated. INFJs usually consider expensive clothing to be a luxury as opposed to a necessity.

[Abstract Essence]

Yes describes both my INFJ friends well. The INFJs are great pleople and some of the few that dont have rehearsed behaviour, which keeps them genuine and refreshing. Some times they can be moody and disturbingly antisocial, but I find that they are very reseptive of my energy, which brings out a better side. In turn they expand my thoughts and ground my most quixotic ideas. Thank you for all you INFJs that stick to your unconventionality; you make the world everyday. Few can see it but those of us that know you appreciate you wholeheartedly

[imightberight09]

This is the first thread of convo i've read in months on this site, and I'm reminded how being an INFJ can suck.

Lately I've been trying to be more upbeat and social, but it's tough when i realize it's not who i am. I work at Starbucks and many of the workers at my store are Es and Ss. I'm jealous how they can easily vibe well with customers and create all this energy and excitement. I feel I have to memorize social scripts and fake a smile just to keep up with them. This goes back to the INFJ "i feel completely alone" complex. I truly want to be more connected with people, but i feel i have to try and not be myself because let's face it.. INFJs are not very approachable.

And now i want to ask this question, how do you make new friends when your an INFJ? I'm in a new city with not much of a social network, and I'm having trouble doing it through my coworkers.

[vel]

I find that other INFJs can have that tense look. Hence we do tend to not look easily approachable >.< I have had random people come up to me to start a conversation, but I think that was because at the moment I was engulfed in some task so probably appeared to be more at ease. If we aren't plagued by words like "um" and "like" then we do take frequent rapid pauses in speaking, it kind of sounds disjointed. We are unlikely to wear a lot of trinkets, heavy make-up, expensive watches, etc. because that engages the senses, while you can frequently tell the sensory types from pics by amount of non-self-expressive jewelry and make-up that they wear. And I think our faces tend to portray a wide range of emotions, there isn't that one solid predictable look, so if you see a person's face is a bit like a rollercoaster of radiating some intense emotion that can be your fellow INFJ there.

And now i want to ask this question, how do you make new friends when your an INFJ? I'm in a new city with not much of a social network, and I'm having trouble doing it through my coworkers.

Sometimes you can spot people among your co-workers who would make good friends. But if that is not an option then you can also check out community section in craigslist for events and groups in your local area (just google for "craigslist" if you don't know what it is). There are also people looking for partners to do stuff like play tennis or bike and so on in the platonic section of personals. And also there is this website: Meetup.com for interest groups to meet up. While group interaction is not best for us INFJs, at least you will be accomplishing something meaningful you can feel good afterwards and get a chance to at least observe new people. May make some new friends.

[GreenCoyote]

cool article.
you should post it in the article section with something like "INFJ's from another's perspective" as the title.

[dreaming panda]

by quietmusician
- It's not easy befriending an INFJ, but when you do it's because they have learned to trust you. The best thing to do is not push them to open up when they don't want to..let them come to you.

Hmm.. I think I'm quite easy to become friends with. Or, at least on a "shallow" level.. I have a big social network, and a lot of people I would call friends.. Even though I'm not that close to everyone.. some friends I have deeper connection with than others.
Maybe it's beacuse I have a lot of ESFx friends who makes me more social than I am.. I easily become friends with ESFx's, and they get me out of my social "bubble" I "click" with a lot of ESFx-people, they seem to like me, and I like them too.

[Pacifique]

i am not sure as to how to spot them effectively enough..
but in general i reckon INFJ's focuses appears to be self conscious, very much aware of the feelings they get from the situations they are in and this reflects a lot in the language they use and also the word choices are quite abstract, principalist, core-conceptual ( i mean this in a high-order bit of conceptual hierarchy, principalistic core of things than being naive or subjective or imprecise.. in fact it is much more specific, core-concept, spot-on... but people often mistake this for being dillusional because they often focus more on superficial things and not really look at what's happening )
and in general, their eye focuses are all over the place or not quiet in contact often whilst speaking and also whilst they are thinking heavily their language, if not disciplined enough, comes out like a windows media player on 24k modem buffering a 1GB file or something and also when they are heavily thinking their speech and attitude becomes monotonous and uncoordinated like a weird kind of a machine and it is kind of charming sometimes they go round and round in circles and get lost LOL it's the cutest thing

:] regardless of all that i find them very humane, human and fun

[NightSkyGirl]

By A.C. Huppert

• Watch their body language. INFJs are quiet. In social situations, the INFJ is often uncomfortable. They prefer one-on-one contact to group interaction. Approval or disapproval can often be seen in their facial expressions. An INFJ walks erect and with purpose and they appear to be focused on where they are going. The INFJ also tends to be uncoordinated and is likely to bump into a table or trip on a step.
  .
• Listen for verbal clues. An INFJ uses a lot of figurative language with deeper meaning. Because of the unconscious nature of their dominant function, Introverted Intuition (Ni), the INFJ will often seem to ramble as they search for the right words. Parasitic words such as "like" or "um" litter their speech as they attempt to express themselves coherently.
  .
• Get in touch with their feelings. INFJs use Extraverted Feeling (Fe) to express themselves. Using Fe, an INFJ will use language to express their values. It drives them to go to great lengths to promote harmony. Extraverted Feeling motivates the INFJ to help others. Fe also causes an INFJ to do things because it is appropriate. They care how they are perceived by others.
  .
• Check out what they're wearing. An INFJ will choose appearance over function. Their outfits are usually conservative and coordinated. INFJs usually consider expensive clothing to be a luxury as opposed to a necessity.

::glances at her crooked pinky toe::

[MoonLight]

^ *sigh* I don't bump into things much but when I do it hurts so much because I go into them with force. About a few weeks ago I hit one my toes in the bed post I thought it broke, it hurt like hell (I asked my brother how does one kow if something is broken because I never broke a bone before )…I limped for a day but it turned out ok.