[birdo]

Hi .. first thread.. curious to know if anyone plans for the off chance... i don't know how to really explain it so i will give an example...


for example, ill keep a recorded episodes of a tv show on iq because i think a friend might like it and one day they might come hang out and they then have the option to watch it..

or ill put on a different dvd if i know someone is coming over because i think they might like this more (even when they're not coming over to watch a dvd or tv) but just so they have the option..

or if you've organised to do something with someone eg. have lunch.. keeping the rest of the afternoon free on the off chance they want to hang out longer


i suppose giving people an option when they've never asked for it?



i think a lot of the time i set myself up for disappointment because (without trying to sound a certain way) i dont think people know all the thoughts/time/energy spent to rearrange myself to suit them? (nor should they.. i mean they never asked for it)


a lot of the time i find myself planning in my head how hanging out or seeing someone will go but as soon as i see them it all disappears..


its exhausting and lately im trying to not do this as much and i guess switch off a little

i suppose i appreciate the time i spend with people (particularly the ones i dont get to see as often) so i want to give every chance of seeing them more? (more to do with example 3)


*written as i thought it so its a bit all over the place

[myjazz]

Sounds like you are a great host :)

[angelictroublemaker]

I do this, altho I've got a lot more chilled out in recent years...too much pain of people disappointing/letting me down. The few times I've been seeing someone, I've planned things out to the absolute detail...so, I knew he liked assam tea/hot ribena/melting marshmallows...so I brought all the stuff so that he could have the option of having/doing something he really liked.

[MoonLight]

I do it with other things not just for people even for myself so I have all the possibilities laid out for me to choose from. I think my brain just goes there without any effort, you know just to plan.

[Linus]

I do it with other things not just for people even for myself so I have all the possibilities laid out for me to choose from. I think my brain just goes there without any effort, you know just to plan.

Me too

When I was in the city, I used to also plan in 'escape' routes.. like sometimes there are certain areas that get very busy or there is a chance I might wait for a bus and find it is crowded inside (which I always try to avoid).. so I have plan B, plan C, plan D etc... and where do I sit if this seat is taken, and where do I sit if that seat is also taken..etc.etc.. Sometimes it takes me more than an hour to get home but my introvert self isn't compromised along the journey

I am not around people much these days, but I do kinda wish I could also arrange a day with someone (*_* I think when it gets out of hand, then you must ask that person directly and plan it out together and you can also plan the "off chances" in advance together. I think in the end the activity will also bring both of you closer together and it shows to them in a more obvious way how much you care

[Gnothi Seauton]

Hi .. first thread.. curious to know if anyone plans for the off chance... i don't know how to really explain it so i will give an example...


for example, ill keep a recorded episodes of a tv show on iq because i think a friend might like it and one day they might come hang out and they then have the option to watch it..

or ill put on a different dvd if i know someone is coming over because i think they might like this more (even when they're not coming over to watch a dvd or tv) but just so they have the option..

or if you've organised to do something with someone eg. have lunch.. keeping the rest of the afternoon free on the off chance they want to hang out longer


i suppose giving people an option when they've never asked for it?

i think a lot of the time i set myself up for disappointment because (without trying to sound a certain way) i dont think people know all the thoughts/time/energy spent to rearrange myself to suit them? (nor should they.. i mean they never asked for it)


a lot of the time i find myself planning in my head how hanging out or seeing someone will go but as soon as i see them it all disappears..


its exhausting and lately im trying to not do this as much and i guess switch off a little

i suppose i appreciate the time i spend with people (particularly the ones i dont get to see as often) so i want to give every chance of seeing them more? (more to do with example 3)


*written as i thought it so its a bit all over the place

Oh wow, I do this all the time as well. It's funny because most of the times I kind of know how some events will develop, so I plan everything ahead assuming that all the events are going to lead up as to how I was planning them. Like I remember once a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to take a walk in the park, however I somehow knew that she was feeling sort of down. So on the table I left a chocolate cake that I know she was going to adore, of course she never mentioned anything about dropping by to my apartment. I don't know what happened that when we were in the park she was all like "we should watch a movie in your apartment" and when we went she saw the chocolate cake and she was completely happy.

[MoonLight]

Linus,

Gah! I hated going by bus on one of my teaching jobs because I had to be there on time and had to take whatever bus came.

I make plans when going by foot though.

[CuritadeRana]

Guilty I also have relaxed this habit over the years. It is nice to have that rare thing that your friend hasn't had for a long time or to have that med kit stocked for almost any catastrophic injury lol. Most likely why I can't stand small purses either. I have to be able to fit the kitchen sink in there depending on where I am going.

[dreaming panda]

Oooh, now I just wanted to give you a hug

*hug*

I've done that before too.. hehe

[walkawaysun09]

I have Boxee and Hulu as well as a wide selection of my favorite dvds and a few...that I never watch (yes, I own When Harry Met Sally, and Yes, it was a gift from someone and I should have tossed it out but I keep it for "the off chance".)

I think I relate to this, because I also learn/research a lot of things I might need in "the off chance". Say...knowing a few useless facts about the current standings in sports, trying to get a feel for what teams would be doing in case of sports fans. I keep up on technology in case of geeks so I can at least...ask questions.

Birdo, I can relate in my own little way, good topic, and your avy right now is awesome *loved DBZ and Dragon Ball as a kid*