I've been mulling this over ever since responding to the thread on whether or not an INFJ will ever be satisfied in terms of love and relationships. I'd love to hear more thoughts on the INFJ view of a satisfying relationship and how they expect it to happen. Is anything less than instantaneous attraction or "spark" considered settling or lowering one's standards? Please read the exerpt from my response from the other thread.
Here is what I ponder. I'm not sure it's so much about finding the "perfect" person for you but rather someone who cares enough to work at it. At some point, someone will have to appreciate us for who we are to the core but it may be up to us to communicate (in their terms) who we are. If they care, they will see it - otherwise they may just laugh it off and tell us we are nuts! I've always believed that there is the possibility of that so-called perfect, "meant to be" relationship. Two souls that touch one another and stick, soul mates, "the one"...how many other terms can I come up with? In any case, we need to accept that there will be euphoric highs in a relationship, just as there will be heart crushing lows. When you have 2 people that have separate emotions - unpredictable are our emotions - it will not ALWAYS be perfect. As INFJ's we strive for perfection because we know it's possible - if we can imagine it - it has to exist. This in some respects is one of our pitfalls. We fear the term "settling" or are haunted by the fact that maybe the next person is better for us. Maybe, we were meant to inspire someone past a point they are naturally able to.
Ponder this. I see myself as being the type of person that can see from point A to point Z, and everything in between. Someone else may only see what's possible between point A and point T. If I were to choose to enter a relationship with said person, does this mean that I'm settling because they can only see to point T? Or, if I communicate and lead this person past T and they are open enough to explore that...will they eventually reach Z? Some may argue that perhaps this person will never reach Z, and that is a real possibility. What we live with as NIFJs is wondering if the person standing next to the A/T guy or gal is an A/Z person just like we are. Maybe they are an A/X person but they don't have the openess to move beyond that or maybe they are only an A/D person - it's hard to say! And to futher ponder...what if that person were A/ZZ? Just imagine what some people think we may be missing out on!