To the matter at hand. I am a typical INTJ but over the last 3 months this girl from university has slowly crept into my life. I am a emotional retard and am need of serious help. I have all these rules for dealing with women that have suddenly failed.
[3 months ago]
- we have one class in common and she sits right behind me. I think she is cute and start conversations, mainly me being a jerk and sharing my crazy ideas, stories and jokes.
- When not in class we exchange a few emails, very formal, typically about class notes and stuff. Sometimes she will throw in a minor bit about her personal life, eg, is she working on xxx on sat. I'd make a joke of it and she thinks its funny
- She adds me on MSN and we start having long conversation, i don't even remember half the content. Sometimes she'd say stuff like want to join me for a run, and I would say yeah, but she always appends to also invite our common friend (a girl) from class.
- She adds me to facebook (mind you my facebook is like 30 people, hers is like 250+)
- She adds me to linkedin
- she puts me in her fav5 only a month ago and we txt back and forth
[1 week ago]
- She asked me to go out to a ball, I agree, but she says to bring my friends as she will be brining hers. She hugs me for the first time when i see her in a dress. We have a good time, zero alone time, but i notice on of her male friends is also vying for attention. I seem to be winning. At the end of the time, when she is and her male friend of 5 years from HS walk me to my car, she looks at me with her big blue eyes and slowly/hesitantly tells me to txt so that she knows I made it home safe.
That was it. The final straw and all my emotions came flooding. I am not emotional, but I fell pretty hard for this girl.
I txt her at night after miserable day of my true feelings. I put myself out there and let her I know I really like her. She txt'd we should talk later.
A day later she MSN's me at 3am that she is flattered but she was in a relationship with a guy a year ago, for one year, a guy she was best friends with since grade 9. That she was already asked our but turned out her other friend as she could not ruin our their or our friendship. She said she is not ready to date. She gives me the choice of being her friend of not talking to her.
I send a raw, unedited email professing my undying love for her, my previous heart break at who was a friend (how stupid is that), I tell her I don't want to be friends. And we should be in this limbo.
We chat over MSN and she tells me more of her story and why she doesn't want to date. that she can't trust guys. I say I understand but I will not hide my feelings and I want her to trust me. She tells me the ball is in my court (i thought it was in hers)
yesterday, over msn, I backtrack and apologize for calling her just a girl, someone between no-one and friend. And that I would call her a friend until she is ready.
For about a week she has stop doing her usual things; I have to typically initiate txt/msn conversation. She does not post on my Facebook comments. Typically she responds with sarcastic, teasing comments, often threading to set me straight. She is on invisible on msn.
I have class with her tomorrow. I am completely confused. I have told this girl deep parts of my soul I have told no girl, but she says it takes time to know a guy. Jebus! How can I be the emotional nerve wreak in all this?
What should I do tomorrow? What should I talk about? Reiterate my feelings in person? Give her a meaningful gift? Give her space?