Question: INFJ & ESFJ relationship?...

Question: INFJ & ESFJ relationship?...

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This is a discussion on Question: INFJ & ESFJ relationship?... within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hello all, Would appreciate any thoughts, insights or experiences of the pros and cons of a relationship between an INFJ ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Question: INFJ & ESFJ relationship?...

    Hello all,

    Would appreciate any thoughts, insights or experiences of the pros and cons of a relationship between an INFJ and an ESFJ (in this case INFJ male and ESFJ female).

    Many thanks



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    no to that combo, i say try infj and enfp

  3. #3
  4. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I saw this and thought it served me well, seen as though I like an INFJ..hahaha me bias? no..
    INFJ Relationships
    I like their little disclaimer of sorts..

    "Although we believe firmly that this model works very well to help in finding and maintaining healthy relationships, it is important to remember that it's just a tool. We offer guidelines to help you understand the kinds of things that you value in a relationship, rather than guidelines that you need to follow strictly. Two well-developed individuals of any type can make a relationship work. And work is a key concept here! There is no such thing as an effortless relationship. Don't use this model as an excuse to dump your relationship."

    tee hee!
    ... but on a serious note...of course the resources we have at our disposal to aid us in any of our endeavors should always only be tools and guides and should not be abused and dominate our decisions..


    but in my ENFP defence , being 50/50 E&I and having high T for a F and leaning towards J (hahahahaha) I think I'm good for those wonderful INFJ's
    I'm excellent at convincing myself of anything ...

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by KerryLee View Post
    no to that combo, i say try infj and enfp
    Yeah, I have now come to the same conclusion

  6. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by musicalpyramid View Post
    Yeah, I have now come to the same conclusion
    I'm so excited! YAY!

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    my first love was ESFJ
    They like routine and I felt boring
    Then we give up but the relation not too bad its work

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by musicalpyramid View Post
    Yeah, I have now come to the same conclusion
    We can't help who we are attracted to. I'm INFJ and I'm a gonner over ESFJ - AND he's a lawyer, go figure! When he looks at me, I swear I can't hide from him, and I hide from everyone. I try to disappear and he says I'm too important to ignore. My heart beats faster just thinking about him. I've never ever felt this way before.

    The downside is - I hurt his feelings just being me. I have to be more diplomatic and more general with my observations so he doesn't take them personally. We also miscommunicate often. I need to hear how someone feels. He shows how he feels by being considerate and caring and awesome.

    I am usually the caretaker but he takes care of me. I've never had that before. Life is keeping us apart. I don't know if we will ever be together. I hope and pray for his happiness. I will never take him for granted and if he were mine then I would never let him forget how wonderful he is...
    Seamaid, Vivid Melody, bbh5193 and 1 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by septemberdawn View Post
    The downside is - I hurt his feelings just being me. I have to be more diplomatic and more general with my observations so he doesn't take them personally. We also miscommunicate often. I need to hear how someone feels. He shows how he feels by being considerate and caring and awesome
    I am married to an ESFJ (an INFJ female) and it is just like you said- he often is very sensitive and takes what I say personally. You just have to constantly be working on communication. He has to work on listening carefully and not tuning out when he hears something he doesn't want to hear and we INFJs have to really try not to be so bluntly honest. I realized that I felt so close to my husband that nothing I say could hurt him because he would know where I'm coming from and how much I love him, but the fact is when you deal with touchy issues, he won't see it that way, he will be hurt. Also his N isn't very developed so you may be pointing out things he's never thought of before and they overwhelm him.

    Its a tough relationship but I feel the same way as you- He takes care of me in a physical way with his "S" which I'm not used to (always bringing me water, reminding me of things, taking care of all the boring details I don't want to do) and yes he is conservative in nature and I don't relate to his passion for finance but he is so sensitive and caring which makes me feel loved! Meanwhile I take care of him in a more emotional way- using my iN to help him through emotional and spiritual issues that he has trouble getting a grasp on. We just work somehow! It's definitely a case of opposites attract but we do share a mutual love of people, and we are both very compassionate so we are usually on the same page when it comes to people issues.
    Seamaid, knightmonk, MrINFJ and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by caf324 View Post
    I am married to an ESFJ (an INFJ female) and it is just like you said- he often is very sensitive and takes what I say personally. You just have to constantly be working on communication. He has to work on listening carefully and not tuning out when he hears something he doesn't want to hear and we INFJs have to really try not to be so bluntly honest. I realized that I felt so close to my husband that nothing I say could hurt him because he would know where I'm coming from and how much I love him, but the fact is when you deal with touchy issues, he won't see it that way, he will be hurt. Also his N isn't very developed so you may be pointing out things he's never thought of before and they overwhelm him.

    Its a tough relationship but I feel the same way as you- He takes care of me in a physical way with his "S" which I'm not used to (always bringing me water, reminding me of things, taking care of all the boring details I don't want to do) and yes he is conservative in nature and I don't relate to his passion for finance but he is so sensitive and caring which makes me feel loved! Meanwhile I take care of him in a more emotional way- using my iN to help him through emotional and spiritual issues that he has trouble getting a grasp on. We just work somehow! It's definitely a case of opposites attract but we do share a mutual love of people, and we are both very compassionate so we are usually on the same page when it comes to people issues.
    Thanks for that! I am so glad to hear that you guys work. My ESFJ is important to me but I feel like I just totally say the wrong things. I wouldn't purposefully hurt him - ever.


 

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