[Female INFJ]

This is Literally-uncut version of images, feelings, thoughts memories, songs, philosophy inspired by various INFJ men Energy. I felt this energy building over a few days, and got some images one morning...and it took me forever to figure out and put into words what I was feeling, hearing and seeing [delayed reaction, and processing].
I think for best understanding of what goes on in my head when energies exchange is to just tell it like it is-uncut. This , main particular INFJ man I exchanged energy with was highly sexual so that tampered with my thoughts greatly, and well mirrors some of my stuff too. So this is why the information I received was felt in this manner.
Beware, it’s about to get Hot in here! And I really mean this mostly for you men, because I know you can take it. Women are often too shy to talk sex, I find men are happy to hear it.


I notice you all are incredibly polite and reserved, and I don’t want to ruin this atmosphere on the cafe, with my unsubtle ways, but to understand my way of thinking, and maybe understand my feeling of the INFJ-INFJ experience, and create less conservative discussion, I just have to express my thoughts.


I just see us [INFJ-INFJ] as a dual expression of the same energy, like a mirror image.
I am not stating that i know every infj male and that i am representing every infj female.
I am not this woman in real life, i conceal all my thoughts and desires very well, i am all top secret. So if you want to talk to me, then do so. But don’t expect some over sexed woman, or judge me like that.
I just want to bring us all together and have more meaningful conversations about this INFJ-INFJ connection, and its possibilities without being polite or overly intellectual. Primitive is more my style.


Forgive me.


So take this diary apart- be free – make new threads – discover new things – and new people – possibly another INFJ female...I split up my thoughts in different posts, so that they can be taken apart if necessary. I care for you deeply INFJ MEN because of what I have seen and felt, I would like to say that you are all mine, but I know you are not! But we should regard this duality between male and female INFJ as a learning ground to help us understand ourselves and each other...


I am so happy to see the Sequel Thread- top 5 for women has cropped up, and I see some more deeper conversation happening in the Top 5 men thread. I wanted to close the gap between the “Rarity of INFJ men thread” and the Thread “INFJ women, too much intensity for an INFJ male”...I think maybe these experiences of mine may add to this [I hope] or at least make you all laugh...and well guys, maybe turn you on a bit! Men showing their passionate sides leak more details- oops...did I let that slip!




This expression of duality between the INFJ male and female is causing a lot of learning for me, so this is worth it, to put myself out here, I think.

[Female INFJ]

To Gorgeous INFJ Men – yes that means all of YOU.

I suppose [for now] my investigation has concluded. my goal in this was to see how an infj man would suit me [an infj girl] and do with with the limited amount of information being revealed by infj men. I noticed how very little revealing is being said. Even with precise questions being asked, you never unveil your mystery- maybe a few crumbs here and there. i know the infj game well...my friend(s) played it on me! and i was like, wait a minute- you are not going to let me talk about myself, and not talk about yourself! i can only express what i feel in this moment and what i have learned over the past few days. actually i was aware of this before i posted the "top 5" thread, but i didn't want to be accused of making quick judgements without physical intellectual thoughts being expressed, a lot linear, chronological thinking in here a i guess...so I thought share what goes on in my head a bit, so that I don’t seem so random, you all can get to know me a bit...I can post something about a grilled cheese sandwich, when I meant to talk about a comforting hug, and i get missed.

so then what i see is men of great passion (in different forms), strength and principle. i have been looking at a few angles of this, trying to find weakness, but i have not. two of you accused me of looking for faults...well yes, very perceptive, i was, and i am completely satisfied that i have not found them.

ok let me try to explain this as best as i can with my limited vocabulary and well by not getting distracted by this passion...

Sprituality

i have felt presence of many buddhist men in here. they recite the philosophy (intellectual quotes), but even more of that, many of you actually have an energy of integrity, love, strength and compassion. even beyond this, i feel that some of you, have great light emanating from within, like the jewel often referred to in scripture- this also applies to atheist and agnostic men in here. there is just that "something about you" that is within, sparkling, and not yet revealed. i also had a vision of lord buddha a few saturdays back, i only have that vision when in association with his devotees. but i feel like my hands are tied, i want to talk to you all but i cannot, you cannot hear what i am saying in a spiritual way, because the ears and eyes are not yet developed to hear my suggestions. also i know that, although a protector, it is not my duty to inspire spirituality, because all occurs as per divine will, like a latent seed our soul awaits the right climate and timing...note I got a double meaning image- hands being tied (spiritual energy flows through the hands) well-another image meaning for you freaky types-a little bondage is good...

i am curious about western religion guys, i don’t have experiences about them too frequently because i don’t identify that readily...however i did have a strong experience yesterday, and i plan to PM him about it...if he likes it, i’ll ask him if i can anonymously tell the story of the vision i had. Christian men are always around me, every single man that walks into my life is a catholic, maybe i still have “catholic” vibe on me, because i went to catholic school for 13 years- yes cute kilt and all, it was forest green, the color that looks best on me. However i was more of a rebel, i would wear shorts instead of a kilt or pants, not to get attention, but i like to be comfortable, and not have the feeling of a guy looking at my skirt all the time with that icky vibe about it...my year was pretty wild, people born in 1979 are very free spirited, our principle was always trying to ban our sense of style, and keep us in line, all looking the same! Although not wanting to be, i was kind of one of the trend setters...but i’ll leave my kilt stories out of this, i don’t want to get off topic further...but yes, i have connected to a Christian energy recently...maybe in another thread i’ll talk about that.

well for me being a spiritual person has not quelled my desires, in fact in this phase of my journey they have been ignited, thus again a buddhist concept of being in control of mind and desires is a reoccuring theme here in my mind also...i am not of the west although i live here and was a chrisian for many years, in the east, sexuallity and spirituality are not always seperated. note-tantric sex and union of two souls can be awakening. but this then brings me to the topic of relationships....

[Female INFJ]

Relationships

i see the pickiness when you all are describing finding the perfect mate. i think this is a good thing, and usually the path of principled passionate men, as they want to find a woman or girl to share their lives with. what i like is that you are looking for deep connection, not just talking about it. and you are not afraid to go after it. there is a go-getting way about you all that i like. i think online, because of some disappointment, some of you have posted your disappointments and maybe some depression due to rejection. but i don't believe that your ideals or passion are curbed by these minor pitfalls. you are the type of guy to "dust yourself off and try again". from talking to a few of you, i feel that the type of women that may appeal to you, would be a woman who expresses her femininity, visually and is sensuous and down to earth. she is totally strong, but in a feminine way, this will balance your masculine "protector" ways. My concern with men in general is that they don’t seem to be using all of their mind and intuition capabilities when picking a girl, and tend to get hurt...i figure you guys would know better? I intend to find out if you guys can read into people like i can. One way or another i’ll get to the bottom of this! Tee hee

for you younger guys- it kind of broke my heart reading some of the messages, like there was one of an infj feeling sad about the way he looks, or others saying they have the heart of poets but are not perceived as sensitive because of their strong physique or strong sides [i've got to warn you, i should have blindfolded you so that you don't have to read this] but when you get older maybe you will come to understand these things...but i would tell you that, it is ok to be strong and sensitive, in fact it is incredibly appealing to a woman. a young girls tastes in men change dramatically after 23, and when looking for a guy. and strong sensitive men never lack in women supply. women [well i like] a man who can arouse my intellect, maybe read me a little poetry, but especially one who can ignite my passion. a man who can be sensitive, but who can also- well “man-handle me”, and throw me over his shoulder have his way with me too!

and the club and socializing thing...don't stress it. you can still go to a club, i know how cool INFJ are, I always used to say "i don't have friends" but i had at least 20+ always around me...i was just too dumb to realize it. My friends wanted me to go to clubs with them. let me tell you something about girls...some girls dress up to feel sexy and hot, and they like it...even the ones who say they aren't dressing up for a man, i can tell they are doing it, because there is a difference between "man pretty" and "gal pretty"...and you know when a girl is putting on those incredibly painful f*ck me boots to dance all night in- is not only doing that for her eyes only..actually when in a particular mood, i like mans attention. i can feel his eyes do the once over (yes we notice)....i don't get involved in this type of dressing, because i instinctively know who's attention i want and what to do, and my ego doesn't need it...but anyhow this women as an object thing...i'm cool with it, just long as a guy is not treating my physically like an object, and just appreciating my appearance and enjoying lust, then i'm cool with it. sometimes awesome girls go to clubs, because we go in groups to maybe enjoy the music, or be with friends who like to dance, and maybe we dress hot for ourselves too...i like to try out latest fashions. you will likely meet introverts in party settings putting on an extrovert costume for the nite! but chill out, go out and enjoy the party! and don't assume all visually looking "party girls" are of the same birds of feather. you younger infjs are so sweet, what i am thinking is giving you all about 5-10 years and i'll be at your doorstep in nothing but a trench coat! and well maybe a little something underneath, i have quick perception abilities, i'll likely be able to know what color and type. this of course i am whispering to you in your ear, because you are blind folded! watch out for me! (kidding!) I talked to an INFJ in real time, i thought his passion energy was loud on the internet, but it was even more intense in his voice- he knows what my voice sounds like, so I imagine this is turning him on-right now as he is reading this.

talking to INFJ man has made me so hot (even though none of our conversation has been sexual) i got locked out of class, i went for a walk outside for fresh air without my coat, and the door locked behind me- think canadian cold conditions! I was grateful for the walk though. I worked off some passion, panicking and banging on the door, waving for someone to let me in too!

[Female INFJ]

Some of the Top 5 Stuff listed, Yes i was watching the words carefully...

i would say i fit most the descriptions, all the positive stuff, although i would not say that I am the prettiest person, but i am the type of person that has to be understood and observed in person.- Yes even the corseted librarian girl, not too goth though...you know if you want to find a girl that likes corsets, hang out with your girl friends at a fashion trade show, there will always be a lady or two that makes them...you'll likely be a "bag holder" in the shopping affair, and get to talk to cute chicks that maybe are perusing the corsets?

but i also fit some of the depression tendencies, i wonder how forgiving would you be with a girl who has some depression issues...i noticed that a lot of you have a few of your own! but i think "guy language" for the bad traits you listed means, bascially "no psychos" i know you guys aren't too judgemental...i just put the question out there to see what you'd say.

I would like to say that I hope that there is some flexibiity that have when finding the perfect mate. Because most women are not as they seem, no we are not setting out to hurt a mans tender heart, women are must an multi-faceted expression, and we can have many sides, this makes things exciting. Why am i saying this...because, yes i was young and dumb once, and I spent most of my high school life, entralled with a friend of mine- we had some chemistry, but he was the mysterious type, and things never went anywhere with him (but there was chemistry)...and because of my idealistic ways- i failed to notice other guys that were trying to get my attention, and who really would have been better for me! so don't let your idealism tie you down...while you are young explore variety in women, not just ideal types. or be open.

for the no-sex before marriage types...i totally admire this, and wish i had done this for myself. however i had to ditch that ideal pretty fast, because i kind of estimated inside (intuition) whatever you want to call it, that i may not find a partner until 35-40. so do i want to be a virgin until then? i had to make a decisions...i guess that is what judgers can do well, make decisions. i know that that doesn't make you passion-less in any way, again- i know personally, that spirituality can ignite passion, not dispell it. well you know who you are, i think you are a class-act, and principled people always draw me, and well yes, i get the hint about trimmed, i imagine you are doing anything-but- with your passionate ways...brazillian is good too- i like to surprise on occasion, it always drives a guy crazy, well a little pain initially = multiplied pleasure- you know where i am going with that.

yes men who read books and go to museums and linger in bookstores can be hot! i think you all are so exciting, but what is even more exciting is your modesty. women like guys that are modest about their cuteness, or at least have a little discretion. when i was younger, I did work in a library for a bit...and a bookstore...I didn't understand it, I felt that my summers were over, and that I'd never find a guy in a bookstore...but all of these kind of hot guys [with shining eyes] always came up to me and started talking to me- one I recall had green eyes [i have an issue with green eyed men] I kind of feel electricity in the air immediately when I look into their eyes, I think I have an idea why that happens, but that is another topic. but anyways, he bought like $300 of books, explained to me how he disliked pasty blonds- how he likes dark haired girls like me, and he gave me his number, told me he was the editor of our school paper and invited me to his place, I was shy back then, and a virgin, so I thought the whole thing was too forward for me, but thrilling...I like guys with balls that aren't afraid to talk to me, and well look into my eyes- odd day that was! but fun to remember. Kind of got me off brunette guys (I missed out on a lot of good guys, because I only was attracted to brunettes, then, but blond and green eyes is very good too...well yes, point is missed opportunities due to strict ideals-not cool.

[Female INFJ]

I didn't get to ask, but i think there may be lots of variety in here, so I didn't think it would be a deciding factor..But.i imagine an INFJ man as someone who would be a more dominant type behind closed doors and more of an initiator. for me i have to work on reversing the energy i put out, or read the signs better, but for me i have always picked out men who want me to dominate them! and i probably could, but this isn't me, i have a side that enjoys an indomitable man, i am getting an idea how to tell now...but i am slightly certain that many INFJ men would be able to enjoy both sides of this or at least have this quality....i think the masculine energy amongst the people here i have talked to is very intact, and a hint also was in the types of women these men are seeking, are often ones who are a feminine expression, perhaps a good contrast.

For me as a woman, this protector energy has made me “too” much of a lot of things, and pretty un-wreckable strong...People sometimes say, you are "too strong" “too emotional” “too intelligent” (as you see i am not that good with words, i am just trying to convey images and energy feelings i get) but guys have told me that, I guess i should date guys who read books!.Just because I wear glasses sometimes, doesn’t mean i’m smart! You all are way more intellectual than I am. I have toned down my outward expression a lot about a lot of things...i guess maybe the librarian thing is an image a lot of guys want to see.(the intelligent image that a guy sees)..I’ve learned not to break out in philosophy on a man, even though i was thinking about it alot for several years. Most men run from this, or they try to judge you based on your tastes. well i have learned to just hold back on my energy...and use it when needed and well for better causes.

please watch the judging thing...i thought it was really cute, but by talking to my infj best friend, and also my new friend [hot infj man] i could hear him, when he was quiet, "listening to me” as they say they are goo listeners, but they are multi-tasking- sorting, and filing" everything i say. he thinks that i did not hear anything he was saying because i can easily float around topics and a am always thinking about several things while talking...but i can "listen, sort, file" very quickly, in seconds, and be off to the next topic without any pauses. And yes, I can hear and read all his innuendo, hence the caution, but desire to get to know him further. and i do this even with what is unsaid, because i can feel energy flows.

well my point of saying this is that when talking to people, that i actually want to talk to, i can hear them "listen, sort- disguard" and it kind of hurts me a smidge, because when people judge and disgaurd people so easily, i never really get a chance to really get to know them, and vice versa, an it is usually a "mis-read". i judge also, but the difference is i understand the flow of change, and that there is little i can know about others and the entire function of the universe, so then few of my thoughts are set in stone. i file away information in my mind for later use. there is a difference...

[Female INFJ]

Sensitive men vs INFJ Sensitive
I knew what type of energy I was feeling around the INFJ men, but something is not adding up. They describe themselves as sensitive men, but I don’t see it that way because i know “sensitive men” all too well, and have gone out with several of them, and they don’t necessarily have an advantage in satisfying a womens needs over general non-sensitive men. So by example i guess i will explain: my first boyfriend was a sensitive guy. A natural non threatening choice for a girl who isn’t kind of ready to have sex, but wants to have a cuddly boy friend. I thought love was about love letters, so then i wrote him a love letter. He then wrote me three others. I did feel a little special in the moment, but after the first letter, i was kind of losing interest, something was “too sweet” about the letters, and it didn’t make me swoon like i thought they would have. But when we kissed, that was much sweeter. My point is that i’d rather have a guy that kisses like poetry, not write it out for me...we would get into some minor arguments, and well he would start to cry! I swear i didn’t mean to make him cry...yeesh. I kind of thought ok he’s an asian guy so maybe he’ll have some assertiveness, and be able to put me in my place, but I was surprised to find out that most of his macho attitude was a front.
Well another “romantic, sensitive” guy I dated was this artist...this is a stretch for me, because I’m not into the artist guy, but I thought ok, lets check him out. He was incredibly attentive to his cat (I have allergies) and he was really into showing me his art work...he got all self depreciating about himself and his art (i know i was an artist at one point too, minus the dark brooding exterior of course). Well i would say, you know those are beautiful [thinking inside, ok he’s into detail, must be good with physical too] but there was no heat in that relationship at all. A total mismatch. We agreed to disagree quietly.

[Female INFJ]

More on sensitive men...
My third sensitive man example is actually an ex-boyfriend of one of my ex-girlfriends. Now my friend loved him, and i supported her because she did, against my judgement on him, because I knew what he was about the moment I met him...so he was this ghetto guy, and my girl friend and I would have fun crossing into the most dangerous place in the city (I know I don’t stay away from danger) to hang with this guy, he has no car, he has technically no place to live, a real guy living the street life. I liked that he was trying to put together lyrics (aspiring rapper). So then I started to hang with them, I hated how he treated her. Guys like that can try to latch onto a semi-rich girl, and try to borrow their car, borrow money (that is never paid back) etc. But she still persisted. But I saw that she felt such pain for him, and I did too, his mother was a crack addict, and he was really trying to live in a world that was difficult for him, so we three used to hang. I cannot, and will not chill, or approve of “chilling” as an activity (this makes me less popular with chilling guys). However I like hip hop music ( i will chill to that old school stuff, not this new stuff) so I used to bring him out to bookstores, and we’d sit and talk lyrics. I would try to bring up some philosophers stuff to inspire him to bring out some dimension in what he was doing because i prefer more conscious stuff. I liked that connection, he was like “who is THAT girl?” who can ride with the bad boys and help him with his lyrics! So I really did try to be a friend to him. In the group too there was another guy kind of interested in me but my friend insisted that I don’t go out with him! (I guess she knew better as to what they were all in jail for at one point) but I did hint interest, all I had to bring up was “Jodeci” (my favourite guy band growing up –note not a timberlake fan, this band clearly inspired justin timberlake, crazy song and video) that is code word for “that girl is freaky” to that type of guy. I must have been in a mood that summer, my girls and I would cruise in the hood [doors locked of course] playing our old favourites, so i’d play all my jodeci cds (damn my ex-girl friend, she took all three cds from me) Well you know to ride like a girl, you’ve got to have your tunes! [by the way I like dirty south music sound, in both ways that you are thinking, tee hee]..so, ANYWAY, I was all ready for this cool encounter with the dangerous. I suppose I was in danger zone already, because he asked my friend, about me “who’s that cute shortie with the nice booty” I was kind of thinking great! Wild sex with dangerous, prospective rapper man! But I am glad my friend protected me from that disaster. I did however wonder why she would let a guy hurt her like he did, I’m glad she looked out for me....Ok point of story, David, my friend’s ex, he would write her love songs, I guess being Capricorn he has that emotional LLCool J thing (he made himself famous for adding love song aspect to rap music) anyhow. So she would share all his private stuff with me and ask me to analyze it for her...I was like, come on girl, these are your love songs, keep them and be happy he wrote them for you...Well my point is sensitive INFJ guys, girls are not who they seem most of the time, and if you write poetry and love letters, [Unless it is for “the one” that girl you marry] don’t think that it will be cherished forever and kept secret (not all girls are into that). I just don’t want you poetry guys to get hurt. I kind of tell a guy, or preferably “show” him how I feel, sometimes a look says it all. I don’t write poetry and stuff (although I did once for my first green eyed attraction) story to follow. Never shared it with anyone, but was published in a book of poems. Nothing like youthful, angsty lust in prose J. Oh by the way SLN i don’t know if your background is somewhat related to Norway, this person I speak of was Norwegian, so easily 6’4”. I’m 5’0”. Ok I know not exactly a visual perfect pair, but sometimes there is something about a tall man. Again, not picky, just noticing.
Also with this same ex girlfriend, lots of guys come up to her and say “gurl you look so good, do you work out?” she will tell me about this stuff, and we’d laugh about it (and even make fun of these guys), because her diet is actually hamburgers and 1L of ginger ale or pepsi per day. And she doesn’t exercise, she has a thyroid problem. So then my point...please temper your visuals with a little reality (I know you guys aren’t like this, but I know it is a fun story). Bonus points to these guys for actually walking up to girls and talking to them...but guys that only see with their eyes are pretty boring.

[Female INFJ]

...More sensitive men...
And fourth [ok i am losing count, more sensitive men, ick!] story of sensitive man, well actually two. So how this mess happened- I’m under the gun to get married, I was on a mission to get married before 25, so I meet two emotional men, as you see this gets worse [two scorpios] ok, scorp men please don’t hate me! But I now know regardless of how many of them turn up in my life, I know they are wrong for me, so I’ve never slept with one, although I’ve wanted to, I can’t have my life turned inside out and upside down like that...I am totally out of depth with their type of mind games. I know my strategy limit. Anyhow, so basically one of them is a gangster type, obviously i didn’t learn my lesson from previous incident. This guy was kind of cute too, Caucasian and totally 50 cent. (ok i hate 50 cent, but i mean it in the sense that this guy literally had been shot at and survived several times). He wasn’t a baggy pants fool, actually again quite cute. So then I would feel a sexual connection with him, i guess maybe danger made it more exciting...then walks in to my life opposite scorpio, opposite of gangster boy Serious, high roller (exec at a major well known corp). Pretty cut throat guy, he turned me on-ok i like a bit of mean streak in people, I guess to counterbalance my own sensitivity. He “says” he is kind of looking to get married as most guys his age do. And there were so many nice qualities about him and he was mature. So I could really have a good conversation with him, and talk about feelings, but then bad boy man [never slept with him] but we had a physical chemistry. So then obviously, without me having to go into detail the situation kind of gets blown out, because they can tell on either side that my energy is split. I ended up cutting them both off real fast, as one was emotional but wanted physical, and the other was not physical (yet) but wanted my full emotional energy, of course 1st, before either of them giving these things to me (that is part of the game with these type of men)...and well there is always the power play and game aspect too, I think all three of us knew instantly that we were not “the one” for each other, and then goes the downward spiral, because some men are ambiguious on purpose and will stick around if they can get something out of you. So when things kind of blew out, scorpio 1 was like ok, let me use the girl for her money, he tried to get sex didn’t happen, but i did feel so sad for him at times, because he was sad inside, so I did help him out a little (more than i should have). The other scorpio 2 started cutting me down emotionally, which he kind of had a little right to do, well starting off by calling me a “whore”...well you know how that starts. Didn’t affect me too much because i know either had no claim on me, as they weren’t mine. Who is he to be cutting me down for my games anyhow, he was so wild, I know he had spontaneous sex with a co-worker in the elevator, at work! And I know he wasn’t going to marry me, so he wanted it both ways, my loyalty and for me to give in, with him putting in minimal effort. Well, You know the saying “hell hath no fury”...replace with [a scorpio man scorned]. Well my point is this annoying, real problem two types of me: sensitive man, and hot sex man, but not together.
Oh, scorpio men I love you. I just know there is a mix-up because there is always this kind of naturally attraction to me (leo) but we (in most cases) are not meant to be together. Ladies chase around that type of man because they know, once fully devoted, a scorpio man will be everything for their woman, and give everything to their woman. So it is worth a risk. I won’t reveal something I found out about you, because I know you always have to have a “secret” or two on the go. But again, this is another topic- for debate elsewhere. I am aware of scorpio because these men are always in my life, and my sisters future husband is one, she has the energy to control one, I would rather spend my time exploring other adventures...I don’t want a man that I have to take charge of, I want an independent match. So I look like that controlling woman, but I’m not, seriously.

[Female INFJ]

...Dark side of dealing with sensitive men...
I have been doing some more thinking on this topic (not always the best idea)...and i want to say and talk about was that- to add to scorpio2 story, if i may, i let him cut me with his words...and now i figure out what was happening and why i let him do that. Because at that time (in the past) i was exhausted of the journey of finding love, and pretty much blaming myself for all that hasn’t happened. The critical voice must have been strong at that time- i used to think “your’re not pretty enough, not smart enough, etc, plus why am inflicting further pain on myself by trying to find love (that may be a foolish idea because the right man may not exist is not there), because i am alone and no one really loves me, and it is my fault because all of my inadequacies, and the hurt and/or guilt for getting intimately involved with a few persons, trying to find a connection that wasn’t there” so subtlely in that moment i was really hurting myself, and i kind of gave him the knife (subtley), because he certainly had all the words for what i couldn’t say. And i just let him cut into my heart and my body and felt the bleeding, that i felt i deserved...i find sensitive men can sometimes be selfish. They want all their needs met, and are protective of themselves, because they don’t want to get hurt. They place a lot of importance in this “ideal woman” stuff, and i can notice shifts in moods, where i may do or say things that don’t align with their image of perfect woman for them, and they get defensive about it...and well on a bad day, i can really let a guy have it, and totally cut them down also...which i don’t want to do, or be put in that situation where, well i don’t want to conform, i don’t live in your box, just because they like one or two sides of me, doesn’t mean that im going to just forget the rest of who i am...well if this makes any sense, i thought i’d kind of try to explain my sensitive guy dilemma...women do get involved with these types, but i’ll tell you, they are not as undangerous as they seem, they will play with your heart and emotions. So generally i prefer dealing with non-sensitive men, they tell it like it is. This is not to say that sensitive men are not perfect in their own way, if they can find a girl to be who they want them to be, then go ahead, but that is not me!
Sorry to be so dark! But now i am looking back onto this, it was a dark time, and i can see why i have to be careful, because i have this dark side, which is possibly how i attract sometimes dark men, who were into playing mind games, and who were able to hurt me. This likely stems from a past life experience, but i can also see it as a deeper lesson, where i am settling some destiny with past life people, because in this lifetime, i could never hurt someone like that, or engage in mind games (i call it subliminal messaging, and psychological warfare) people who are subliminal can engage in a lot of power games using their mind and emotions. Well anyhow, my point of remembering this is to contrast it with where i am now, due to spiritual practice, [in atheism state (where I was for many years), one of the danger is that ego gets really high and a person takes on so much burden and blame on themselves, not realizing external universal forces in the divine play] but now i am free of this type of thinking, because i know that regardless of what i actively do, as per destiny [divine play] the appropriate partner will arrive for me at the right time. [note biblical verses referring to imagery of seeds, planting, sowing, this is all i think referring to the concept of timing, hope this relates, my Christian seeking friends) i think my ego was so large and controlling at the time, that i was on a deadline [to get married before 25] regardless of how i got to that end goal. I guess a bit Machiavelli –end justifying the means. Even to the point of breaking rules (dating two guys at once, because I didn’t think I had time to wait) But this of course in spiritual perspective is not how things work. So now i am free!
The point of my stories is to contrast a regular sensitive man from infj sensitive, when i read posted stuff from infj men...i don’t feel that same vibe of, a soft man of poetry and tender soul. I don’t think is the only thing about an infj man, in fact i think this is only a tip of an iceberg type of thing, so of course i had to dig further because a warning flag went up immediately for me, because i know sensitive men, and i knew infj man was more than just a “sensitive” type.

[Female INFJ]

...A little bit about my experience with non-sensitive men...
Well more currently...there was one relationship that kind of hurt me. Because i went in thinking i could have a no strings attached, unguarded, and it kind of pinched. That was the sore spot that got poked indirectly a few weeks back and got me all crazy in the cafe (very short period of time)...i think bitterness can develop when a woman enters a relationship with a non-sensitive man. All of what they aren’t getting emotionally, culminates, like a pot ready to blow it’s lid.
The last straw on the camels back was the last man, well two of them, one- I dated, I call him “couch-potato-man” (they all have nicknames by the way, it makes life more funny). So he started out like a good kisser (Like movie kiss! This was the bait) and kind of dressed really well at first, then slowly i noticed we would only do sedentary dates, we would only stay in, at home, and watch movies or tv...i thought this was cute at first, then I got into a fight with him about it, and I walked out immediately... i know he runs his own business, and he’s tired, but please, live a little!...most guys I date are entrepreneurs (i guess thinking out of the box stuff) i guy kind of has to be creative understand my ways of exploring. Another guy too, around the same time, I call him “arm-chair-traveler” also another avid tv watcher, owns his own business, even worse, stays at home in his pj’s and tries to relive his days in brazil with me...I’m like well [in my head of course, please don’t al bundy me, i can’t take it, why don’t you just go back to brazil] well that one ended very rapidly also...I know all older men aren’t sedentary, but many are into tv and video games...i swear Toronto is a strange place! And too “clique-ish”...We went to several upscale eateries (arm chair traveler man and I), and all he could do was complain! That totally killed my dinner, as I am usually enjoying my food experiences happily...note there is a French-italian place i brought a couple of my friends to, we had the Tiramisu, and all of us girls like fell slient! I of course piped, up, I was like “Food orgasm” it does happen guys! Hehehe it was really that good. Well yeah, complaining about food at a restaurant (and not getting up to leave, or just telling the chef, or being quiet about it), or being a food/wind snob, really a deal breaker for me.


I’m like OMG what am I going to do, I should have started having sex at 14 and roped a man by 25, who are these older men? I don’t want to deal with their baggage, and them re-living their al-bundy days, when they were at their prime...and so many of them are hung up on ex’s and, some are divorced, and have children....sometimes it feels like the best ones are taken...