[madison]

Hello everyone,

I was just wondering how it was possible for an INFJ to improve leadership and public speaking skills. Because, I mean, I know it is possible, since I know I have these skills. I guess my question is more how can I show it to the people? (for example in interviews). Because of my INFJ personality type, I am known as a quiet person who doesnt talk very much. However, I would like that to chance and to be known as a good leader and a good public speaker, without denying my introverted side.



The reason I am asking is that I have been turned down for a job that requires those two skills. And I believe it is due to my introversion, since successful candidates turned out to be mostly extraverted. I am aware that is it easier for an extraverted person to show those skills, but I was wondering how could I make it more obvious that, even if I am introverted, I have those skills as well?

If some INFJs have encountered the same problem as me and succeeded in these areas, do you have any tips? Is there anyone who can related to what I am feeling?
Thanks a lot!

[Dina]

Lately I've been thinking about my job interviews that went well. After many interviews with various organizations, I noticed that I 'clicked' with only a few of the interviewers. The interviews that went more smoothly were from a type of workplace: nonprofits and the socially conscious companies. There, the interviewers were a mellow, progressive, and creative type. On the other hand, some of the other interviews I had were just horrible, and I knew I wouldn't like working there. Those particular interviewers wanted a super outgoing entertainer. Perhaps different people have their idea of what a 'good leader' and a 'good public speaker' should be.

I would like to read what others think about this topic as well.

[gOpheR]

As far as public speaking goes, I would have to be passionate or extremely knowledgable about the subject before I could accel above others in it.
Leadership is the same but different. to lead I would have to have a goal I'm content with and a decent idea of how to achieve it before I took a leadership position. I would have to be able to recognise deficiencies in the current leadership before I felt comphortable stepping up aswell wich is hard to do in an interview usually.

[CJay3113]

I'm with gOpheR on this one. In order for me to speak publicly, I need to be knowledgeable and passionate about the topic. I do think INFJ's can be great public speakers because of our dedication when we find meaning in something. And that can translate to something much more on a grand scale, making us quite memorable. Personally, I don't like having a leadership role and if I was placed in one I'd internalize the stress that comes with it and attempt to make an effort (I'm sure you know about that). So I definitely wouldn't seek for a leader type position, but I'd rather choose it than be forced into one. However, I'm also a 4w5 so that causes me to worry even more about every little thing I'm doing.

[Amittai]

For me, I LOVE being in a leadership position. I almost always have. But again, it has to be for something I believe in.

Stage fright left me quite early on and I can make and have made AMAZING presentations and speeches that have actually brought people to tears -- because, again, I was insanely passionate about it.

But the real problem for me comes in when I know or feel for w/e arbitrary reason that there is hostility towards me in the crowd. As general conflict avoiders, and especially me, I cannot go on. I know I will breakdown and choke when it comes time to step up and do your thing.

But you know what? Remain possible because we INFJs have our guru to look up to: Ghandi. He did it, so can we

[jabe]

I don't know if this will help at all - I am an ENFJ. I tend to speak and then think, and have to remind myself in these kind of situations that this is not the best way! I envy people who do it the other way around!

So, in short = yes, I think you can!

But you obviously find this a bit difficult. So...my advise would be that you consider your audience. Appeal to the common ground between you, both in the content and in the language you use. You don't say what you are presenting on - look at your audience's aims and objectives. What do they want to hear?

The scary part is that you are selling yourself, not just presenting information. To do this effectively, focus on why you want this and share those reasons. If you can successfully convey your belief and integrity in the subject matter, then your audience know you are behind their cause. They will also want to see proactivity - how will you get things done.

I find that preparation helps me if I know I am going to be speaking in public. I usually look for another medium to back up what I am saying. It sounds obvious, but if you have created a presentation or a handout, you take some of the attention from you.

If you know you can create a great presentation or handout that will impress, this is an opportunity to show off your skills. If not, get someone to give you as second opinion first. It can also make you seem more convincing - on a basic level the audience feel as though you are presenting evidence to them that backs up what you say. You'll also appeal to different 'learning' styles in your audience if you use a mixture of visual (something to look at i.e. handout/presentation) and audio (something to listen to i.e. you). Try to include some kinaesthetic or 'doing' in there too, even if it is just posing questions to get them thinking.

Finally, as an intraverted person, I think this is probably the most important bit: Rehearse in your head and imagine yourself speaking, and that you feel comfortable doing so. Visualise what will happen in the situation as much as you can. Think about what you want to happen and imagine how you want to feel. Do this several times.

Hope that helps!

[A2Steve]

Hi, I'm an INFJ, too... and I know about that fear of public speaking! I was always terrified of it on some level- I actually was a therapist (in another life it feels like! and it only ended 3-4 years ago!)

anyway, after the hospital I worked at started sinking, I decided to go back and get a teacher's cert for elementary school- I'll spare you the rest of the back story, but when I was in the classes, I made it a PRIMATRY GOAL to go sit in front of classrooms, typically with 20-50 other students, and ASK questions.

I found I actually was capable of asking endless questions on most topics, and so did the profs! and they LIKED it... almost even dated one... but that's another story.

anyway, finding a way to push on those introverted sides of ourselves can be very inspirational. and rewarding. I;m always reminded of Bill Murray in "What About Bob?" where the pop. psych book he's obsesed with is "baby steps." as funny as that is, it's also true... once you keep moving like that, I found myself wanting to do MORE of it. it was true with externalizing things, AND going to the gym!

Pushing yourself pays off big, I've found!

[madison]

Hey thanks everyone for your inspiring answers. Me too I am feel good when giving speeches when I am very very very prepared and when I believe in what I an talking about, but when it comes to improvising or just answering on the spot, it makes me nervous, Not because, people are looking at me, but mostly because I never know what to say, and always afraid that If I dont rehearse it in my head before, it will make no sense when I will talk. But anyways, now I have found a job as a tourist guide, which I think will improve my public speaking skill more than anything!
And I agree totally with you A2Steve, pushing your self does pay big.

[Dina]

I don't know if this will help at all - I am an ENFJ. I tend to speak and then think, and have to remind myself in these kind of situations that this is not the best way! I envy people who do it the other way around!

So, in short = yes, I think you can!

Often, I forget that parts of introversion might be envied, such reflecting more before speaking. I am coming from the context where extroversion is valued more, and introversion carries some negative connotations such as 'anti-social' and 'timid.' Depending on the work environment, introversion might have more positive associations that aren't seen as a hindrance.

[Perseus]

INTJs are the deputy. INFJs could be the Messenger. They would make the presentation on behalf of the ENTJ Boss from the idea by the INTP Architect (or by the whims of the ESTP Builder).