The easiest way to describe INFJ 6w5 is caution bordering on paranoia.

Yup!

 

Hello 6w5 INFJ , I relate to most of your thoughts on the matter. Here are some comments I have:

It's easy for this flavor of INFJ to get pegged as a pessimist, because they can always see what could go wrong. INFJ 6w5s are extremely good at predicting problems before they happen, which causes them to be in an almost constant state of anxiety.
I agree with this. I'd like to add that if the individual is unhealthy (too much time in isolation ---> disconnected from the pulse of reality) or has gathered incomplete or false information from his sources it's also possible to exaggerate or even invent problems that do not exist or at least have very little rational basis. It helps to engage the Extraverted Feeling function here to make sure it's not a bout of catastrophizing and perhaps learn from what the consensus seems to be, and why it is such. I like to use this sparingly though.
You're very right in saying that there's always an eye trained on the dangers and issues ahead. I tried living without for a while... the recollection of that bothers me. I'd rather be overly responsible than exciting and reckless (in most situations anyway.. >).

Fe: Extraverted Feeling on the INFJ 6w5 is where you are able to see them at both their best and worst.
This is a good way of describing it. The ability to see both side of a person isn't ours alone but we might be more willing than other types to shift our perception of that person to make sense of them. I don't like to dwell on the darkness of people too much, it can be overwhelming if it becomes a habit, but just knowing that the good exists is usually enough to placate those fears.

INFJ 6w5s often look to others for support, for good or ill.
Yes, I find it helpful to enlist the perspective of others to deal with the potential issue of imagining problems I mentioned. If they can't provide anything certain to lead to a solution, it's still good to know someone has your back. I wonder how much instinct variant comes into play here though. I'm primarily a self-preservation type (maybe that's redundant here) so it's not really my first preference to seek out help from others for problems I might be able to solve alone. I'm adverse to opening the door to my vulnerabilities for others to see sometimes. That said...
INFJ 6w5s may find themselves forming surrogate families among friends to feed their need to belong and to make others feel like they belong.
Yes, and it's hell when the stability of the group is threatened or there's inner discord -_-

What they may see as a lack of self confidence is a tremendous gift of skepticism that stops them from becoming naive.
What others* may see... being aware of your limitations is not a lack of confidence, it's pragmatism. Why play to your weaknesses when there may very well be other options to explore?

It also makes for some pretty good self-deprecating humour.

 

Fairly bang on description. *high five*

Speaking for myself, I think one of the reasons why I really adore obsessive / "clingy" people as partners is because it really overrides some of those natural insecurities 6w5's are prone to have. Realistically, we need more than what the conventional person is capable of giving and this can really cause some complications down the road unless we have someone that is incredibly positively affirming.

I know for me, I've always been guilty of testing people, especially early on, through my own intentional erratic and odd behavior (to see how they react). Don't get me started with the hypothetical questions or excessive analysis of seemingly everything they say or do.

Personally, I've always obsessed about this notion of a Soulmate and I can't even begin to tell you how many people I've "dated" without actually dating them. You end up analyzing people to such extreme levels, sometimes even at a distance, where it can just be baffling the type of conclusions you may come up with in such little time and interaction. With that said, let's be honest... we tend to be bang on with our assumptions.

In the end, I may not have a shit load of Facebook friends, but I do have a handful of close tight-knit friends. Realistically, that's the only type of connection my 6w5 side needs.

 

Paranoia and obsessive thoughts happen when I am in an unhealthy state of mind though it is probably my worst weakness. 6's integrate to 9.

(I'm sx/sp) I tend to be too trusting actually but there are certain things that trigger my paranoia mode. I am also a lot less cautious with online interactions. I am very warm and desire deep connections with people. If I don't make a connection I don't see the point. I'm either an open book or a closed book. There's not really any middle ground with me. I see physical activity the same way. I'm really bad at finding balance. I'll get really into exercise and over indulge or I tend to get trapped in my head and not do anything because all my focus is on something else. A change of scenery helps me feel more at ease and keeps my mind happy and stimulated. Meeting new people is the same way.

 

It's important to acknowledge that each enneagram is afraid of something. Fear is not enneagram 6's hallmark emotion. Also, you need to distinguish between healthy or unhealthy, counter-phobic or phobic, and the variants (SP, SX, SO), and even "tritype" (I'm 6-1-4 or "philosopher"). One 6 wing 5 can be starkly different from another based on these distinctions. For an example of the healthy vs. unhealthy distinction, it's not always anxiety or avoidance of such as the ultimate driving force, it can be a balance on a spectrum between being vigilant as opposed to anxious, pro-active as opposed to reactive. There are several levels between healthy and unhealthy that can be observed.

To get into the neuroscience of it, plenty of people would like to believe that enneagram 6 is related to some psychological trauma deeply rooted in youth (fear of abandonment, etc), but quite frankly it's a neurochemical thing. There's an elevated level of Fight or Flight hormones keeping the person alert to things that normally they wouldn't feel compelled to think about because their body isn't efficiently breaking those down on a biochemical basis. Something that wouldn't be as traumatic for someone with different genes, different environment, different neurochemistry, can hit an enneagram 6 more strongly simply because of a predisposition to be sensitive to stress in all its forms, not simply emotional /psychological but also biochemical /physiological /immunological /genetic. The way a person responds to stress or makes an effort to eliminate it can be quite telling of their enneagram, their MBTI, and their neurochemistry, even what genes they likely have that influence mood and emotional regulation.

Not all enneagram 6 are anxious or afraid. When integrating to 9, one will look uncharacteristically in the moment, chill, content, easy going, and more than happy to indulge in Se. When things go wrong there is a confidence that what can be done will be, and things will work out as they may- the sky isn't falling.

As a 6w5 it's important to realize a capacity to be more than you have been, more than you ever thought you could be. As good as 6w5 is at scanning ahead for danger or problems or contingencies, it can often be the unforeseen that will most challenge and change you (for the better) if you just let it and be open to accepting something unexpected. Staying "safe" actually wastes a lot of precious energy rather than conserving it. Imagining the worst just to feel a sense of preparedness to steel one's self up "just in case" comes at both a cost and a benefit, but there's a point where it's distracting you from just living your life in a fluid, receptive motion. It's possible to get to that point, age and maturity and experience- and learning how to compensate for these neurochemical predispositions can really influence and change how a 6w5 both thinks and behaves.

Embrace what you don't know instead of trying to be so sure of everything. What you can be sure of, of course as a skeptic you will second and third guess it, but only do so if you are ready to explore what that means within the realm of things "unsafe" that could threaten to shake your foundation. It's not just all in your head, it's in your DNA, and your DNA is not as set in stone as you would like to believe. You can change your thoughts, you can shift your perception, you can change yourself, you can adjust your actions, you can positively influence all facets of your health. Being in the moment, being in the physical reality, will make this clear once you start paying attention to things you thought you fully understood thus never allowed yourself to truly know and accept as they actually are.

Don't just consider Ni as some future oriented drive. Ni is also your perceptive way of seeing things beyond surface presentation, beyond limits of time, beyond assumptions of character or purpose, beyond initial meaning, beyond the vantage point you intially had. There is more meaning and value to be found if you aren't hesitant to explore it while suspending your judgment functions. A good way to develop this is to spend some time with a person who is adept with extraverted iNtuition because they naturally pull these reflections that would be internal for you out to the surface where your perception can "breathe" which helps you develop your own extraverted perception (Se) to balance with your introverted perception (Ni). Your observations will be more keen. Your paranoia will lessen. Your sense of anxiety will be replaced with confidence and resourcefulness when it's actually needed- not before the fact, but in the heat of the moment. You won't need to preoccupy yourself with whether or not you are "ready for this" because you won't need to spend all that time analyzing.

It's not "all in your head". It's a full body shift. Any head type enneagram (5, 6, 7) has this challenge. A head type enneagram with a head type wing of course is going to have even more of a challenge and reward from learning how to shift out of being so stuck in their own mind where they are most comfortable. Comfort is good every so often, but if it's consistent all it will do is hold you back from being -all- that you are. What's the point in being curious if you can't apply what you know out there? What's the point of fear /anxiety if it isn't channeled through courage to actually diminish that fear /anxiety?

The imagined life (Ni - Ti) is painful; it has no substance to connect you with other people nor with vital life experiences (Fe - Se).

Why attempt to achieve balance and harmony outside of yourself when you are not at peace within your own being yet you try to convince yourself that it's forces outside of you that drive this discontentment?

 

I think you're 100% right. I was speaking more generally for all INFJ 6w5, but you're absolutely right in there being variations among that group.

 

This is a really great description. Good job on explaining it

 

Yeah I mean paranoia and Ni can go a bit too well together lol.

 

 

As an aside, there aren't many male INFJs on this forum, but of those there are, many of them are 6w5. Hmmm...

 

So then a 5w4 would be rare among the rare male INFJ.... interesting.

I do wonder if there is a counter-phobic 6 with a 5 wing and what that would look like.

 

So these are just a collection of my thoughts, theories and personal experiences as someone who both is, and has creepily observed other INFJ 6w5s. If anyone (especially other INFJ 6w5s) want to tell me how right (or wrong) I am, please make yourself heard! :tongue:

My first reaction was a resounding "oh, hell naw", but thinking about it, perhaps your observations would have been more true of me when I was younger.

I do love your avatar.

 

Your quote from Milton is my favorite of all time

 

I could have cried. That is me.

 

Very good description.

 

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@sworm09: where did you find this information? I find it eerily accurate (in terms of describing some of my characteristics).

 

@sworm09: where did you find this information? I find it eerily accurate (in terms of describing some of my characteristics).

The gifts of intuition is mostly is where I got it.

Wow, as an INFJ 6w5 I find this freakin' depressing- I wish I hadn't read it! A few more positive aspects of this enneagram/MBTI combination please!

There are a multitude of positive aspects to this combo. INFJ 6w5s can predict problems LONG before anyone else even considers them to be a possibility. It would have been an INFJ 6w5 who would have suggested that the Titanic wasn't unsinkable months before its maiden voyage and it would have been an INFJ 6w5 who would have suggested that using large walls to protect Athens from invaders may be a bad idea. They have the amazing gift of not only being troubleshooters, but forward looking troubleshooters.

Added to that is the sheer amount of information they pick up. Their Ti get's a MASSIVE amount of activity, so they're always refining theories and picking up new information. Out of all of the NF types I think that INFJ 6w5s are the most widely read and analytical. Healthier members of this group can fall back onto their reasoning skills to calm fear and chaos, thus becoming a beacon of certainty for others.

 

Wow, as an INFJ 6w5 I find this freakin' depressing- I wish I hadn't read it! A few more positive aspects of this enneagram/MBTI combination please!

 

Reporting in.

 

Yes yes yes yes. Thank you!

 

INFJ 6w5s are usually future oriented and when they're not looking at the future, they're analyzing the past for information, or perceiving the present through their intuition which IS NOT living in the present moment.

Very insightful as well as accurate! I have found for me, even before discovering MBTI, that attempting to live more in the moment (what I now view as Se'ish behavior) helped me chill out and change my perspective. But obviously there's a lot of problems associated with this due to the fact that it is such a weak function for INFJ and it attempts to ignore the opposite pull of the stronger 3 functions Ni-Fe-Ti. But none-the-less it seems like a healthy development of it alleviates a lot of "imagined issues".
What I find interesting though is how you pointed out that when we try to live in the concrete moment despite the pull of our Ni we simply end up perceiving the present through our introverted intuition. So true and very hard not to do!

 

Reading through this thread it seems to be the case that an INFJ 6w5 can't be in the present moment?

When I was fighting, people asked me what I liked about it, and I several times said that I truly felt connected with reality and being one with the present, was this feeling I had several times just an illusion?

 

Wow, this is describing me to a T.

INFJ 6w5 is

caution bordering on paranoia

You make the complexity sound beautifully with those words, as someone who is INFJ and a 6w5, yes I think this is it.

Especially this:

Funnily enough, strong sensory impressions (loud sounds, harsh tastes, or too much feeling) may be source of fear and stress for the INFJ 6w5 because it forces their minds to actually live in awareness of the present moment.

I've always been sensitive to sounds (especially loud ones), such as a sudden car honking. Though I don't even flinch if someone gives me a "boo!" from behind. Hence why I also never see horror movies... Creepy things often like to jump right at you unexpectedly and that scares the freakin' daylights out of me - even if it's intentional.

Though I think Sweetish makes an important point as well, the unhealthy/healthy 6w5s and other contexts that comes with being 'us', really. We're all shaped by different circumstances and upbringing. And also the point on being at peace with ourselves before trying to find comfort and security externally.

Staying "safe" actually wastes a lot of precious energy rather than conserving it. Imagining the worst just to feel a sense of preparedness to steel one's self up "just in case" comes at both a cost and a benefit, but there's a point where it's distracting you from just living your life in a fluid, receptive motion. It's possible to get to that point, age and maturity and experience- and learning how to compensate for these neurochemical predispositions can really influence and change how a 6w5 both thinks and behaves.

Embrace what you don't know instead of trying to be so sure of everything.

THIS. Learning to let things go and just be at peace with MYSELF first, really made all the difference to the many negativity and doubt I had towards myself. Funnily enough, it came with "age, maturity and experience"

Basically, a very accurate insight and I enjoyed reading everyone's comments on the matter

 

6w5 hey? Are the following posts really commonalities that can be shared between us... inability to stay in the present moment, paranoia, anxiety?

Do any of you work out using vigorous exercise, curious.

 

When I get into a "mode" I go full force. Either I am on the go exercising, watching what I eat, depriving myself of all kinds of "evils" and am like a fanatic. Or I don't exercise at all. Its all or nothing. I try to keep myself motivated, watch what I eat, take care of myself ... find its much easier when I have some motivation to do so.
I try to stay in the present moment but have found that I really have to concentrate really hard to do that. I can lay awake for hours and either think of the past or project into the future. Not sure I know what it feels like to be in the present moment. Not sure if its "paranoia or not but for instance I do not like banks and I hate to have my money in a bank. This can get me into some troubles of course (the all or nothing) because I will put a little bit of money in the bank but have a stash somewhere and if I get "bored" (INFJ's and boredom... imagine that) then I could easily spend money like crazy. Of course an action such as that could lead to deep regret. I am frugal and do not like to spend unnecessary money (your opinion and my opinion on what is necessary could differ) and I HATE to feel as if I have been scammed or violated. If I feel that I have been scammed or violated I go through so many emotions - which this process could last for years. It just never seems resolved because of the feeling of being violated.
On a more positive note I have a knack for finding treasures for very little cost and flipping them for some big bucks! But the same kind of "rule" applies to the selling as well. I cannot "scam or violate" someone. One time I purchased a vintage coat for .50 cents and turned around and sold is for $50.00 - I had to literally talk myself through this process (LOL) and tell myself that this is what business is all about. I felt so terrible that the person paid $50.00 - so there are times when I will go against that "feeling" because I know it has to be done. (Like being in the vintage business - I cannot permit myself to feel bad for getting an item for very little money and flipping it for a profit) ... Do others have issues like this?

 

I am an INFJ 6w5 so nice to meet you!
As I read through this I laughed out loud a few times because it is "so me" ... and then I (((sighed))) a few times because .. it is ... so me. "INFJ 6w5s are usually future oriented and when they're not looking at the future, they're analyzing the past for information, or perceiving the present through their intuition which IS NOT living in the present moment." This is pretty true and very exhausting. The inner turmoil of just wanting to STOP IT and be different can be consuming if we let it be. I literally find myself re-playing past "mistakes" over and over so often that I don't even realize when I started thinking about it - I just "wake up" and realize I am once again examining the past. I've recently started saying the word "PAST" outloud when I catch myself doing this. The fact that we do this is not pleasant - absolutely NOT enjoyable and extremely tormenting. I could be having the time of my life and then instantly ((BOOM - BLAST FROM THE PAST - FULL SCENE WITH SMELL, TASTE, AND FEELINGS OF ALL THAT HAPPENED)) ... and the "time of my life" just lost its luster and "suddenly" I stop smiling and just want to go "home" .. where is home anyways? LOL HAHAH then I laugh because I can become to disgustingly dramatic that I just want to shake my head and "turn me off" ... like a crappy movie that becomes a weekend marathon - over and over non-stop. :frustrating:

 

"Embrace what you don't know instead of trying to be so sure of everything."

I've become more of a risk taker as I have gotten older. Not permitting myself to be controlled by fear - grasping the moment and "doing it afraid". If it fails or I may look stupid trying something new I simply pat myself on the back and tell myself how proud I am that I gave that a try!

 

I am so glad I found this thread! I cannot tell you how happy I am to read all of your posts! I am just now getting familiar with the MBT and Enneagram types. I am a INFJ 6w5 and it seems like I am always getting lost in my head and anxieties. It has made me feel very different, frustrated, and (of course) anxious that something is wrong with me. You all are saying EXACTLY what I have been thinking and feeling! It is so nice to hear that there are other people like me who understand. Thank you for the wonderful insight and advice you all have posted! roud:

 

I tested as 5w6 so I might be just glancing the nail but deductive reasoning usually quells my fears. I used to have a lot of anxieties and would be consistently stressed out. Nowadays I just embrace the fact (I tell myself this) that I operate well under stress. I try to logically reason out my fears and how they shouldn't/can't happen. Just make sure to take one fear/thing at a time and slowly think about how it probably won't happen and the rest of the problems just kind of blend into the background.