Hey internet INFJs,
I was wondering if other INFJs share my problem.
It seems obvious that many (if not all) INFJs suffer from some kind of mental illness, generally anxiety and depression. I too have a huge problem with that, but am terrified of drugs and losing my intellectual and emotional quirkiness -- so I stay off the meds.
Aside from that, one problem that has traveled with me since childhood--and it could be hereditary since my mom (an ISFJ) has it--is my chronic, almost deadly fear of getting in conflict or fights with "other people". I'm okay with resolving, or getting into conflict, with my immediate family who I'm very close to; but any body else, even my best and closest friend (1 in total lol) I cannot handle.
Being the rarest of male types it is so very hard to live in this world this way.
I avoid conflict in any and every way possible. I fear it more than I fear death itself (maybe).
In our society, for a guy to "not stand up for himself" or "not fight back" or "fall apart" is considered wrong. And that is exactly what I do. I am so scared of people getting upset/angry with me, far be it that they get into a fight with me, that I avoid in any way offending or going against anyone's ideas if I know there is a possibility that they might strike back.
I try hard to rationalize that people don't always mean it and that a person may be angry one day and not another, but nothing works. If anyone gets cross with me face-to-face or over the phone, even, I go into a spirling panic attack. I feel like (and it has happend, actually) that I'm going to start crying... How pathetic is that? ...
I don't know what to do. Is this something fellow INFJs suffer? Is there a solution? Having to live with this fear is torture everyday...
Sorry for the long read...