[INFJ] Personal Legends

Personal Legends

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This is a discussion on Personal Legends within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I just finished reading "The Alchemist" and it was inspiring. I highly recommend it. The story is all about personal ...

  1. #1

    Personal Legends

    I just finished reading "The Alchemist" and it was inspiring. I highly recommend it. The story is all about personal transformation and having the courage to realize our dreams. I like the idea that we come into this world with an imprint of what we would like to accomplish, as if our interests and tastes from there on out are clues to the larger puzzle.

    My only gripe about the book was the emphasis on finding yourself rather than on creating yourself (I think it's a combination of both) and the insinuation that journeys are best done through extraversion as opposed to introversion (but Dorothy and Alice!) Naturally, I guess, since I'm an introverted planner and I value imagination highly.

    Personally, writing has been a constant in my life. My mom told me a story last night about how I used to make picture books for my friends and family when I was about three. Apparently I'd frantically draw and then throw the pages over my shoulder as I went, like I couldn't get my thoughts out fast enough. She said I'd then go back and collect and order them carefully, remembering how they all fit together. It's funny how your three year old self can serve as an inspirational character in your future :) I was also transfixed with the story of Snow White at that age. Recently I found a great piece about how Jung was interested in the fairy tale as a metaphor for the female individuation process. I've been really into Jung and the individuation process over the past few years, so maybe there is something to this idea that we intuitively have a sense of purpose very young that we have to later realize?

    I thought that it would be fun to ask my fellow NF's about their dreams and goals - although anyone feel free to jump in!

    1.) Is there something that you've always wanted to do or have been interested in? Broadly, specifically, a journey, creation, vocation, etc?

    2.) How did this show up in your childhood?

    3.) Has anything/one served as an impetus in helping you to get started? Blessings in disguise, synchronicity, motivation, bizarre occurrences, revelations, etc?

    4.) What steps have you taken along your path?

    "He still had some doubts about the decision he had made. But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision." - Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"

    5.) Doubts. Nagging, pesky doubts. Do you have them?

    "We're all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"
    Selene, pmj85, ThirdArcade and 58 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    1. I always wanted to be a hero or a knight. I went into swordfighting and archery for two years and also did a lot of acting, which still continues today. The hero image is gone, as I've come to realise I'm not much of a leader, but I still have the desire to help people and make the world a better place however I can.

    2. Answered above.

    3. Probably Super Mario, to be honest. I was playing Mario before I could even hold gameboys or controllers properly. Loved all the games where I was helping out and saving the world, and in my early years when I wasn't reading I was helping other people with their schoolwork or mediating their conflicts without expecting help in return. That doesn't happen so much any more, because people aren't so open and straightforward, but I remember I felt good for that.

    4. I haven't lived long enough to have done anything major, I don't think. I expect there will be opportunities in the future if I can get to them.

    5. Inadequacy. Big one. I'm always locking myself down nowadays, generalising my social ineptitude to everything else I do. Sometimes I blame my genes, sometimes I blame my upbringing, but I've not been able to just blame myself for not manning up and getting over it yet. Working on that but it's hard.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    1. I've always wanted to be like Mulan or be someone who others look to for inspiration. Like an artist or writer or something.

    2. I would write stories for hours upon hours and lock myself in my room just so I could write.

    3. The love of reading made me want to write more and more. Also, apparently my poetry isn't as bad as I think it is (despite the fact that I loathe poetry) and that boosted my confidence a little.

    4. Wrote some fanfiction (not gross fanfiction, but something with correct grammar and whatever) that's PG-rated. I got a good number of comments. Now I'm trying to write a novel.

    5. My mother doesn't believe writing is an actual job. She wants me to become an accountant, which wouldn't be bad, I guess. But I'd rather be a novelist.
    Veggie, Killbain, Killbain and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4

    @LiamTolstoy and @skysailing -

    It's funny that you guys both gave a very broad answer for what you want to do as opposed to something more specific. I wonder if this is an INFx thing. I usually tend to be the same way. Getting very specific stresses me out. I wonder if it's because we see so far into the future already that the challenge for us is more giving some wiggle room with goals in order to stay present...flow.

    Thanks for sharing :) I was wondering if my broad goals were a sort of cop out after reading that book but I'm beginning to think not. It's kind of fun to stay open to opportunities within a general path. To let it all fold a bit more mysteriously, one step at a time.
    Killbain, Killbain, Killbain and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    1.) Is there something that you've always wanted to do or have been interested in? Broadly, specifically, a journey, creation, vocation, etc? Always been interested in writing. I would like to write at least one novel with my husband. And I write poetry nearly every day now. I consider myself a poet more than anything else. Oh and I always wanted to be a wife and a mother. I'm not a mother...well unless you count my six pets.

    2.) How did this show up in your childhood? I received my first Lisa Frank diary when I was four. Loved writing in diaries and journals for school (that my teachers would read). I would even write in there on vacation which I didn't realize was unusual at the time. My teacher would comment how the other students didn't really do that. I liked interacting with my 3rd grade teacher most of all through writing back and forth. I'd make up stories in there but was terrible at coming up with plots so they would always end abruptly. Good thing my husband is great at character and plot development. Imagery is more my thing. I like describing feelings.

    All that being said, I didn't realize I wanted to mainly write until I was 11 or 12. Before that I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was very little before my dad took me to an actual class in the city and I realized sewing was involved lol. I liked drawing dresses. Then I wanted to be an actress, model and singer (love starved) and then I realized that is not something I would enjoy or could ever do because I'm a private person. However, getting to write a story or a poem is sort of like acting in a way. You have to be pretend to be a character in the story anyway.

    Anyway, now we're trying to get connected to other artists to start a project. My husband is also into video game programming. Not in it for profit. Just enjoyment. I can't not write poetry. It's apart of who I am. I got into it when I was twelve or so on my own.

    As for the mom thing, well it's typical but yeah I enjoyed playing house with my little brother. He was always my baby. I also enjoyed playing school with him. I was the teacher. And of course playing with my dolls/stuffed animals before I had a brother. I would make beds for them and things like that. I was very close to my brother growing up. I actually read in my diary that I considered him my boyfriend lol but I didn't know what that meant at such a young age. And technically he was - my friend and he is a boy. He's an INFP.

    3.) Has anything/one served as an impetus in helping you to get started? Blessings in disguise, synchronicity, motivation, bizarre occurrences, revelations, etc. Well, life experiences sort of initially acted as my inspiration for poetry and just my love for writing in general. Music has always been the gateway for my poetry though. I'm a private person so I'm naturally drawn to writing. I don't know. I feel like gifts are placed in people and you stumble upon them and develop them because it's your passion - the thing that fulfills you. But can anyone be a poet? Sure. I can teach anyone how to be a poet but that doesn't mean it will fulfill them as it does me and obviously they'll have their own unique flavor/language unless they're modeling themselves after someone else.

    I would say the other motivation is being married to an INFJ writer who complements my writing style very well. He couldn't write a story without me and I couldn't write one without him. I like to say that I am the spirit of the story and he is the flesh and bone since he's so good at explaining things. He's more of a philosopher/teacher type. Not that I can't do either of those things but I don't know I've had discussions with him about this sort of thing of whether the gift is given or we choose it. It was an interesting conversation. Hard to say!

    4.) What steps have you taken along your path?
    I try to write at least one poem a day. I also try to research a lot before becoming a mom (if it ever happens).

    "He still had some doubts about the decision he had made. But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision." - Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"

    5.) Doubts. Nagging, pesky doubts. Do you have them?
    Yes, sometimes I am afraid of both success and failure. Sometimes I question why I'm doing it. Sometimes I fall into self-condemnation which kills my creative process. I refuse to write anything dark or heavy as I've found it tends to make me feel worse. Really, all I need is some encouragement to feel better. Sometimes that comes from myself and sometimes others and just getting in a better mind set. I mean, as long as one person (including myself) enjoys what I write then I'll keep on doing it. Besides, I don't really believe I can stop doing it and truly feel fulfilled anyway. Oh and I totally forgot about the other gifts I have! Well I enjoy cooking, coming up with recipes as I feel that can be a fun/creative process too but have to be in the right mood for it.

    I've always liked helping people in my friendships. Sort of taking the mom role but that was probably because I felt like I had to be a mom to my own mom when I was older.

    Sometimes I doubt I'll make a good mom. I just see children as very precious and being entrusted with a child is no small thing. I just don't want to screw it up some how. It's a big responsibility and I don't take it lightly.
    Arclight, Veggie, Ashneversleeps and 10 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors


    1.) Is there something that you've always wanted to do or have been interested in? Broadly, specifically, a journey, creation, vocation, etc?
    I didn't have too many interests when I was younger and I always preferred dealing with the abstract. One thing I knew for sure was that I wanted to be in a position of leadership where I could help others. Specifically children and people like myself who had no one to really look up to for guidance.

    2.) How did this show up in your childhood?
    While I generally always tried to be kind and supportive of others, I remember I used to make strong efforts towards trying to inspire and advise people who were feeling down about themselves. I had no idea of what type of leader I wanted to be, but I knew that if I was going to be one, I wanted to inspire others.

    3.) Has anything/one served as an impetus in helping you to get started? Blessings in disguise, synchronicity, motivation, bizarre occurrences, revelations, etc?
    I think everyone doubted me, so I was always injecting myself with a false sense of confidence and reassurance. I just took in all the negative comments and used that as fuel. I would just say to myself "this is another test...these people are testing me and I have to prove them wrong."

    4.) What steps have you taken along your path?
    I joined student groups when I was in high school and college, and did my best to fill in the gaps in the organizations I was a part of. It taught me a lot of things I didn't know about leadership in general and about myself.

    "He still had some doubts about the decision he had made. But he was able to understand one thing: making a decision was only the beginning of things. When someone makes a decision, he is really diving into a strong current that will carry him to places he had never dreamed of when he first made the decision." - Paulo Coelho, "The Alchemist"

    5.) Doubts. Nagging, pesky doubts. Do you have them?
    After everything I went through, I don't think I'm cut out to be a leader...at least not yet. I carry too much emotional baggage with me and I'm so resentful over so many things and sometimes it carries over into other parts of my life. I need time to heal, or perhaps I'm just making excuses. I feel like I'm at the beginning of another major journey right now, so I'll see where this next one takes me.
    Vivid Melody, Veggie, Killbain and 3 others thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivid Melody View Post
    I received my first Lisa Frank diary when I was four. Loved writing in diaries and journals for school (that my teachers would read). I would even write in there on vacation which I didn't realize was unusual at the time. My teacher would comment how the other students didn't really do that. I liked interacting with my 3rd grade teacher most of all through writing back and forth.
    Lisa Frank diaries! I had them too! I also wrote in them year round. Keeping a journal has been a consistent in my life since about...third grade, funny :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivid Melody View Post
    All that being said, I didn't realize I wanted to mainly write until I was 11 or 12. Before that I wanted to be a fashion designer when I was very little before my dad took me to an actual class in the city and I realized sewing was involved lol. I liked drawing dresses. Then I wanted to be an actress, model and singer (love starved) and then I realized that is not something I would enjoy or could ever do because I'm a private person. However, getting to write a story or a poem is sort of like acting in a way. You have to be pretend to be a character in the story anyway.
    That is so true! I really, really like that idea. Acting was something I was always interested in too (lots of acting classes in high school and college) but I never resonated with it as much as writing. You just made writing very romantic for me. Thank you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivid Melody View Post
    I would say the other motivation is being married to an INFJ writer who complements my writing style very well. He couldn't write a story without me and I couldn't write one without him. I like to say that I am the spirit of the story and he is the flesh and bone since he's so good at explaining things. He's more of a philosopher/teacher type. Not that I can't do either of those things but I don't know I've had discussions with him about this sort of thing of whether the gift is given or we choose it. It was an interesting conversation. Hard to say!
    I'm not as good with the flesh and bone either. I'm actually taking a fiction writing class for fun right now that's helping me to flesh some ideas out :)

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivid Melody View Post
    I try to write at least one poem a day. I also try to research a lot before becoming a mom (if it ever happens).
    Good for you!

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivid Melody View Post
    Yes, sometimes I am afraid of both success and failure.
    I like that you admit to being afraid of success. Me too. I'll start to think...what if I published a novel and it was a success and Oprah wanted me on her show?! I can't meet Oprah! I'd trip and fall or stutter or brain fart...the tabloids would eat me alive...I'd become even more anxious than I already am at times, under the spotlight...social awkwardness on meth would set in...before you know it I'm actually Doing meth to cope...my GOD...I don't want to become a METH HEAD now do I?! Good thing I followed this idea through to conclusion...I'll save myself a lot of grief XD

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivid Melody View Post
    Sometimes I doubt I'll make a good mom. I just see children as very precious and being entrusted with a child is no small thing. I just don't want to screw it up some how. It's a big responsibility and I don't take it lightly.
    I bet that you would be an excellent mama :)
    Vivid Melody and Vanishing Point thanked this post.

  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by ideologicalflowz View Post
    I think everyone doubted me, so I was always injecting myself with a false sense of confidence and reassurance. I just took in all the negative comments and used that as fuel. I would just say to myself "this is another test...these people are testing me and I have to prove them wrong."
    Awesome, good for you :) How did you go about injecting yourself if you don't mind me asking?

    Quote Originally Posted by ideologicalflowz View Post
    I feel like I'm at the beginning of another major journey right now, so I'll see where this next one takes me.
    An INFJ on a journey! Exciting :) Again, do you mind sharing?

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by Veggie View Post
    Awesome, good for you :) How did you go about injecting yourself if you don't mind me asking?



    An INFJ on a journey! Exciting :) Again, do you mind sharing?
    To answer the first question, I just told myself that I could do anything. I told myself that I was made of stronger stuff than other people and I could deal with whatever life threw at me. I had the attitude that other people couldn't walk a day in my shoes and I could run a marathon in theirs. I'm kind of disgusted at myself now that I look back. I didn't really believe any of it, but I pushed those negative feelings down and just kept trying to build myself up. It wasn't the best way to go about it, and it led to a complete mental breakdown in my early adult life.

    As for the journey, I'm just trying to make myself useful. While I always wanted to be a leader, I didn't realize until I was in college that I needed some practical skills. I was working on that, but I didn't have the opportunity to do so because my education was cut short due to my aforementioned breakdown. I'm going back to school this year to finish what I started. This is really an extension of my previous journey, but it feels new to me. Something about this feels different, but in a good way.
    Veggie thanked this post.

  10. #10

    @ideologicalflowz - Something similar to what you describe happened to me when I was about 23-ish. I felt that I was constantly projecting a sort of fake confidence before then. My revelation that you have to actually Be confident was one that came later. It seems so simple and yet...it's not. The past year for me has been all about transformation (hence my attraction to this book). Taking negative thoughts and transforming them into something that actually is positive (how has this caused strength or intelligence?)...instead of just trying to stuff them down until they start exploding under repressive pressure. Also realizing that confidence is sometimes just preparation - there is no "confidence" DNA that has only been bestowed on several fortunate people.

    Good luck with the new journey! I'm glad that it feels different and good.
    Vivid Melody, Ashneversleeps, Bago and 1 others thanked this post.


     
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