What Do INFJ's Consider Small-Talk?

What Do INFJ's Consider Small-Talk?

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This is a discussion on What Do INFJ's Consider Small-Talk? within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Now from what I've read about INFJ's in general is that we like to skip the small-talk and in engage ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    What Do INFJ's Consider Small-Talk?

    Now from what I've read about INFJ's in general is that we like to skip the small-talk and in engage in meaningful discourse. Now my question is what do you consider small-talk and what do you considering engaging or meaningful conversation?

    I think I consider small talk to be a lot more broader than most people but I'm going to hold back exactly what that entails for now.
    Selene, Btmangan and JKohn thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Small talk is talking about any subject that neither person really cares about. It occurs just because both people want to give the impression that they're communicating.

    It happens because society often expects people to talk about things without actually talking to each other. People are supposed to be social. But, they're also supposed to not be too emotional or vulnerable. The hallmark of small-talk is ingenuineness. It's not so much the subject as the lack of passion.

    For INFJs, small talk seems more frequent, because we sometimes have a lot of deep, personal things that we would like to discuss that are socially inappropriate because of their emotionality. Small talk is pretty much anything that takes the place of a genuine conversation. There isn't any particular topic that is always small talk, but certain topics are used very frequently as substitutes for real communication.
    Last edited by Selene; 03-01-2010 at 12:50 AM.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality

    Small talk for INFJ's is when we talk about something such as... the weather...

    you know it is small talk because we will look extremely uncomfortable... and we feel as if we are dying to think of some dumb question just to fill the time and are secretly praying escape from said meeting with stranger.

    small talk...
    it's the one thing in my life I consistently fail at accomplishing.
    sad...

    sometimes the light goes on in my head that says... hey... dummy talk about this... then I bring it up... wha laaa.
    conversation...

    but usually I just remove myself for a more interesting enviornment/person of intrest.
    Goodewitch, jen867, chasingdreams and 2 others thanked this post.

  4. #4
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Hey guys, pretty nice weather today, huh? I was going to walk my dog, but my grandparents came over so we stayed in and ate some pie. What did you do this weekend?

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I like the idea of talking about whatever other people are interested in as well as my own interests, but I do feel kind of blocked in terms of deeper conversation when it's on a subject I have no clue on (i.e. some sports, history, etc.) Anything that stimulates my growth is something I can appreciate. I always remind myself of what one of my favorite math professors said to me: "If you have a choice between learning something and not learning something, you might as well learn it."

    So if people want to rant and rave about something new, that's fine and I'll listen. If they want me to come up with some half-assed answers for questions on a topic I obviously don't know anything about, forget it. All that sounds like to me is, "I want to challenge you just because I feel like it." That's not thought-provoking; that's stupid. If you're going to do that, at least give me some kind of introduction and your own opinion on the topic before you start grilling me.

    That being said, they do have to be substantial topics. You can start off with weather, but God help you if you end with it. As always, life talk is a super easy one, but usually that doesn't come out until I get to know the person better. Anything academic or something that generally takes skill/mastery is pretty easy to enjoy.
    Navis Amoris thanked this post.

  6. #6
    Unknown Personality

    Hey guys let's talk about sports, my favorite team is the Sportland Sports: they get the most points!

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    Quote Originally Posted by Selene View Post
    For INFJs, small talk seems more frequent, because we sometimes have a lot of deep, personal things that we would like to discuss that are socially inappropriate because of their emotionality. Small talk is pretty much anything that takes the place of a genuine conversation. There isn't any particular topic that is always small talk, but certain topics are used very frequently as substitutes for real communication.
    What kind of things? Do tell...
    Goodewitch thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by amanda32 View Post
    What kind of things? Do tell...
    I hope you don't mind if I answer this too because these sorts of things happen to me quite often as well..
    To me the most interesting topics I'd like to discuss with others are the things like religion, politics and all this "deep" stuff such as the meaning of life and so on. I love hearing other people's opinions and especially how they've come to their conclusion. Not all conversations have to be all philosophical though, I enjoy talking about things like careers, studying, relationships and stuff like that as well.
    It's a pity that politics and especially religion are extremely touchy subjects for some people and most people aren't even interested in talking about them at all..
    amanda32 and spook thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I find that small talk really is a function of how much you know about current events.
    Blue Heart, GreenCoyote, Btmangan and 2 others thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Usually my "small talk" is asking someone about their problems and then listening to them, empathizing with them, and offering my support ;)

    This, generally replaces the "nice weather, huh?" interchanges... which just make me feel like I'm wasting everyone's time.
    Female INFJ thanked this post.


 
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