INFJs, especially ladies...this is embarassing to say, because i don't want to be perceived to be a "crazy lady" but i have a good clairvoyant friend, tony, and he told me very clearly...STOP dating guys, or looking for men, assuming they will be "THE ONE" - and stop looking for "THE ONE" because it reeks of desperation, and guys hate the "ball and chain" feeling, and they can sense it when they are with a girl and usually try to run!
actually i was told that the person i will meet will not seem like "THE ONE" he will be a friend first, it will be a sexual relationship first, before me even knowing that he is "THE ONE" what a sick cosmic joke that is, isnt it! it might happen to you all too!...so this stuff about finding "THE ONE"...maybe it would be a good idea to put that on the back-burner for a little while, and just learn to be "chill" and to have fun...and enjoy the moment, and anothers company?
not saying you all have to do this, but as an INFJ girl, for me this lesson is a thorn in my side, and i have to learn it. you see finding "THE ONE" can be lots of trouble, sometimes you'll land a guy that will pretend to be "THE ONE" to get you into bed...most of the time, guys you meet will literally run, if you start acting like the type of girl that is looking for their soul-mate within a few moments of conversation (unless you are really pretty, men will always find an excuse to like a girl if she's pretty, even if she is a doorknob or an absolute psycho type)...and you can miss out on a lot of guys by seeming on this mission to find "THE ONE".
does this make any sense? and please guys help me to understand "chilling" i hate it, and well you guys [INFJs] don't seem to be the "chilling" type, so i did post a thread regarding the "chilling" issue, and asked some help from ENFJs too...guys generally like to chill, younger ones i guess? anyhow...hope you all get my point about "THE ONE"
there is some major double standard too- don't think i've missed it! a man looking for "THE ONE" seems to be principled, and romantic, whereas girls actively looking for "THE ONE" are treated like they are crazy, or clingy types, or looking to trap a man! believe me, i am not clingy at all...and men learn that really fast, once they do anything stupid i walk....but that is another issue! but yes, what is wrong with a girl looking for love? i guess it has to do with the interaction between men and women, and who decides whom is "THE ONE". i think that men mostly make that decision, this is why women perceive a competition, and often fight amongst themselves for a good guy...but i am sure, there will be argument about this topic...i just wanted to illustrate some of the things i've felt when i was looking for love.