[blue moon]

If someone met you for the first time, what is the first thing they would notice about you after the first 30 seconds of talking to you?

I'm just thinking of how as INFJs present ourselves when meeting people for the first time.

Rather refer to meeting someone in a social context, than formal like work.

[Navis Amoris]

People usually tell me that I seemed very reserved and uncomfortable with small talk. Which I am. My class mates thought I didn't like them and was a bit of social recluse at first.

When we can just skip the small talk, however, and discuss interesting topics I'm often told I'm a very passionate and intelligent person (their words, not mine! ).

[Btmangan]

I try to be engaging and charming, but I usually just end up being awkward.

[Blessings1]

Usually friendly and I smile.

I am not a particularly reserved or shy person like INFJ are meant to be. I am quite warm and open.

But I agree, I don't like small talk and soon move away if that person is superficial. I hate being "nice" sometimes when I have no energy to be friendly. I feel guilty and fake but sometimes put on a smile so they don't feel uncomfortable. It only lasts about 5 minutes though, then I go

[zwanglos]

Just quiet and small-talky. I don't let them know the real me until we've been hanging out for a few weeks.

They usually don't like that part - sharing things about myself and showing my character makes people ill at ease. Not sure why I bother, to be honest.

[Blessings1]

Hi Zwanglos,

Thats funny! Only today I said something to one of my co-workers (been working with her 5 years) which was quite personal about my friend. I felt really really uncomfortable afterwards, like I said to much. No wonder people in my department think I am weird!!!
Its an attribute to hyper sensitivity, too, saying random and inappropriate things.

Am I the only one that feels like this?!!!

[Qualia]

people usually think I'm conservative, well-spoken, serious, & "lady-like". all true, but when you get to know me more, you'll find that I can have a really whimsical, SNL sense of humor, kind of like Amy Poehler from SNL. yeah, serious. I can also be pretty courageous & bold. but first impressions? conservative & lady-like.

[zwanglos]

People usually think I'm boring/quiet when we first meet. After hanging out with me, and after unleashing my (also) SNL-esque humor, people describe me as 'the funniest person they know.'

At least for a time.

[chaseut]

Personable, attentive, but reserved.

[Kanon]

I have a lot of shyness issues. If someone approaches me completely off guard, then it is really awkward. I try to shift small talk toward the person's interests. I like to hear people talk about things that they enjoy and its also an opportunity to learn about something new. Sometimes people are intimidated by the somewhat 'serious' aura I put out, but after awhile they realize that I am basically harmless.