Untypical INFJ behavior?

[LDc]

After having read so much about INFJ and INTJ personalty some questions about a specific INFJ came to my mind:

I know that wanting suggestions about a person no one of you really knows is nuts, but I hope by giving you some examples of his person, you can make a guess if he could actually be an INFJ or if I´am totally wrong with that suggestion.

So.. there is this someone I know from whom I strongly believe is an INFJ personalty. But what confuses me is that, beside some strong indicators he -on the other hand- displays some very untypical characteristics for an INFJ.

He definitely seems to have no problems in being the "lone wolf" type of guy who, in his own mind and thoughts can enjoy a greater time than hanging around with a huge group of people.

But then, he is a very avid and very self confident speaker who has no problem in talking very eloquent to a huge crowd of people (would be a total nightmare to me ;) ), actually when he has to make a project presentation in school, he is the only one that get´s a complete quiet audience and seems to catch the full attention of most of the people in class.

Also INFJ´s are described to me as caring persons who have strong bonds to the people they are close to. But the person I´am talking about seems actually somehow egoistic to me. As if the only thing he cares about in the world is himself.

It is also said that INJF´s are caring persons who develop strong bonds to the people they are close to. I asked this person I´am writing about on two different occasions to help me with an essay and a school project which he did, but while he was helping me I had the feeling of having an ice block sitting next to me who would not even raise an eyebrow if I would fall dead from my chair. I had a hard time imagining that he could have a close relation to someone, at least someone who would newly enter is his life.

What do you think about this? Is this absolutely unfamiliar for an INFJ personalty or just one of many facets that an INFJ persons can have?

[decided]

Introversion and extroversion is not just about being alone or being with crowds, although it is easy to tell with extremes of either sort. INFJs do sometimes swing from one to the other, but this is not specific to that type only.

The ice-block feeling you get from him makes me think that he does not have extroverted feeling as a dominant cognitive function, as those people are generally warm and inviting. So he won't be ESFJ or ENFJ.
INFJ have Fe as their auxillary function, and so are often, but not always, warm and inviting. The person may be INTJ rather than INFJ.

Egoistic doesn't indicate a particular type to me. He was happy to help you with some things so I think he is probably self-confident rather than self-centred. But he could be a self-confident person of any type.

I hope that helps a little.

[Btmangan]

Originally Posted by LDc

But then, he is a very avid and very self confident speaker who has no problem in talking very eloquent to a huge crowd of people (would be a total nightmare to me ;) ), actually when he has to make a project presentation in school, he is the only one that get´s a complete quiet audience and seems to catch the full attention of most of the people in class.

In some instances, INFJ's are actually well-known for their public speaking and can be confused for extroverts. Their intuitive and in touch with their emotions and the emotions of their audience so they can engage quite well. Also, there is a sense where we feel driven to speak passionately about things we care about.

I've made speeches for graduation, to my football team, etc. Each time, I've been told I'm a very good speaker. I am an introvert... but public speaking doesn't bother me the way that speaking a bunch of empty words with a large group does.

I mean... we're feeling and intuitive, so we know how to get along in groups (Hence why we're mistaken as Extroverts), but since we need to reason everything in our minds first, it's very tiring mentally.

Also INFJ´s are described to me as caring persons who have strong bonds to the people they are close to. But the person I´am talking about seems actually somehow egoistic to me. As if the only thing he cares about in the world is himself.

We can be loners... people tell us that the way we do things is weird, and we'll tell them to get lost.

A lot of the time we feel like no one in the world gets us... or that we're surrounded by idiots.

Where the INFJ "care" comes in is a really clannish thing... We have a small "clan" and we don't care about those outside of it all that much in comparison to the way we care for our clan.

It is also said that INJF´s are caring persons who develop strong bonds to the people they are close to. I asked this person I´am writing about on two different occasions to help me with an essay and a school project which he did, but while he was helping me I had the feeling of having an ice block sitting next to me who would not even raise an eyebrow if I would fall dead from my chair. I had a hard time imagining that he could have a close relation to someone, at least someone who would newly enter is his life.

If you were in trouble, or were feeling really depressed, my guess is that he'd jump to help you out when a lot of other friends would just leave you be. We do care. What lies at the heart of a lot of INFJ's is a sense of being misunderstood... and if we can find a woman who really understands us... it can be a beautiful thing.

Also, we tend to get lost within our own minds. We can appear to be cold and uncaring, but in reality... we're just hanging out in our own minds... it's not something you should take personally.

[tikru]

^Try not to speak for every INFJ in your posts. Someone can be really introverted and sensitive, which would make it very difficult for public speaking.

[zwanglos]

Originally Posted by tikru

^Try not to speak for every INFJ in your posts. Someone can be really introverted and sensitive, which would make it very difficult for public speaking.

I would rather die than give a speech. D:

[Highschool Pariah]

Hitler was an INFJ good at giving speeches. Keep an eye on your friend for me.

[zwanglos]

I can never be Hitler because I'm terrible at public speaking. :)

[Hawaii22]

The thought of giving an impromptu speech....yeah, I"d rather die. However, if I have all the time I need to prepare and memorize word for word what I am to say, I can do it. But even then, I feel like I am standing beside myself watching, instead of experiencing it like most people. Am I alone on this one?

[Highschool Pariah]

Well, it kind of matters, if the matter was near and dear to his heart, then it sounds much more befitting of an INFJ.

[alice144]

He actually sounds like an INTJ to me... sounds like someone I used to know!


A couple things you said indicate this to me:

He definitely seems to have no problems in being the "lone wolf" type of guy who, in his own mind and thoughts can enjoy a greater time than hanging around with a huge group of people.

Infjs are loners, but my impression of them is that they are "needy loners". Althogh I was never popular, I always had a best friend, and a smattering of kinda-friends.

Also INFJ´s are described to me as caring persons who have strong bonds to the people they are close to. But the person I´am talking about seems actually somehow egoistic to me. As if the only thing he cares about in the world is himself.

infjs tend to be insecure. you'll pick up on that if you hang around us long enough.. :(

But then, he is a very avid and very self confident speaker who has no problem in talking very eloquent to a huge crowd of people (would be a total nightmare to me ;) ), actually when he has to make a project presentation in school, he is the only one that get´s a complete quiet audience and seems to catch the full attention of most of the people in class.

This INTJ guy I knew had the very same ability. It really impressed me. I'm a terrible public speaker, I start stammering when my audience gets above five people or so... :(



These are just my impressions from what you've said. Take them with a grain of salt. :)