[kalina]

Im an INFJ I want to get to know this ENFP guy...but I can tell I intimidate him. I had this same problem with boys in high school. Should I try to act more girly? Less aggressive? More clueless? I find him to be very genuinely sweet and authentically hilarious. I mean, I guess it could be that its not meant to be... I really don't want to continue to make him feel uncomfortable... I mean, I will go hang around him in class and were usually around some other people, so its not like we have to talk one on one, and he doesnt really seem nervous then...but the other day we walked a block from class together and he was so nervous. It would be cool of we could actually have one on one conversations...but I dont really want to push it if there's nothing that can be done. Advice?



Okay, and I know this other ENFP...haha. We have known each other for about 6 years. Its funny, because we have actually just now gotten to be real friends. We met in a summer volunteer program, saw each other through mutual friends on and off during high school...through weird circumstances we also ended up going to prom in the same group of friends even though he had already graduated a year earlier. Anyway, we started hanging out more this year. And I guess I really trust him because when I was going trough a hard time two weeks ago I called him and cried a little bit over the phone. It was actually the first phone conversation Ive ever had with him. Its weird, because of all the personality types I get along with, I think I talk to ENFP's the least but in relation get along with them the best. Perhaps there is a bit of nonverbal communication going on? Im not sure...but either way, he is a great friend. Anyway, this is the meat of the story: He called me last night pretty late. Whats weird is that I was having a pretty bad night last night. I wondered if he somehow sensed it...or if he just wanted to check up on me. He left a message, which was just of him singing Somewhere Over The Rainbow for two minutes. (ROFL!!!) That was amazing, but when I was checking my voicemail I found that I actually have three messages hes left over the past month on my phone (I actually never answer my phone haha)... I mean...I guess something changed between the two of us over the past month. One time when I was hanging out with him we were being crazy, and he grabbed me and picked me up bride style. He alarmed me and I lamely freaked out, lol. Anyway, he apologized, and then later...he like, called me and left a message to make sure I was alright. I was like whoa. And I guess ever since then I trusted him. Anyway, Im probably being way over analytical, but I guess I see a possibility of him liking me? Or is this just one of those tendencies of the ENFP to be fascinated with a new person...like, Im sure Im not a new person to him, but Im a new friend, sort of. What do you think?

P.S. Also, do you think I want to be friends with this ENFP who is intimidated by me because he reminds me of my friend ENFP? Heck yes, I think I do. Which...is sort of weird. Its not like theyre the same person. Aw well...what can I do...

[Halloween Decor]

First guy sounds finicky, but the second guy sounds alright.

[amanda32]

First guy: No idea. No, I wouldn't start behaving differently. Just talk to him more?

Second guy: Hell yeah, he's into you.

[nikkii]

Don't ever change for anyone ever..
Have someone love u for being aggresive and boyish!

[chaosome]

ENFPs are great because they usually don't seem to have a problem just being themselves around other people. Second guy seems great. As for the first, just act like yourself, but maybe share some problems of yours or something? If he's intimidated perhaps you can let him know you're not perfect and won't judge?

[Rouge]

1st guy- can't tell whether he's into you. But I have a similar experience. I have a close ENFP gal pal. Though she's extroverted, I was the one initiating lunch in the beginning (we were colleagues). She was kind of shy around me at first, though we're both as straight as an arrow. Perhaps she understood I could read her very well and was uncomfortable being examined so closely. I call it the mutual bond developed by NF perceptiveness.

2nd guy- He sounds like he's making effort to charm you. But I can't tell whether he really likes you. My ENFP friend likes to entertain. She feels upset if she can't make people laugh at her comments. She's also a lot more expressive and touchy-feely than I am. I don't know whether this friend is just being his usual self... Maybe the ENFPs will have a better idea...

[kalina]

Okay, thank you all, this advice is very helpful. :]

Rouge, that is exactly how it is with this ENFP...and that is relieving, because I was a bit worried that he liked me, and that was the reason he was intimidated. And even if it sounds like I am interested in a relationship right now, Im really not... Its just that I am always so sensitive to the actions of those around me...and Im always wondering what they mean. Yeah, I agree that the second guy probably just wants to be friends. He has been known to do the same silly things to my other girl friends. I guess I just caught up in possibilities when I was analyzing this situation.

Also...my sister is an ENFP, and she and I are amazingly close. It is strange becoming friends with these ENFPs because I see so many similarities between them and my sister and I want to act the same way around them as I do around her, but I also realize they cant jump into that easiness because they dont see me as well as I see them...

[Rouge]

kalina, it's interesting we share the same observations. I realise my ENFP friend was fearful that I wouldn't like her if I knew too much about her. The way I got around her was to be empathetic, accepting and patient. It took us a good while to get comfortable around each other. I don't know if either guy likes you in the romantic sense because I've never dated an ENFP. But if you have any insight on this later on, do share :) I enjoy hanging out with my ENFP friend and sometimes wonder if I will find the ideal match in a guy with the same personality.

[kalina]

To the dear enfp's of the world! ~raises glass~

[Einar North]

kalina, Im an enfp guy, and if i behaved the way you describe guy nr2 (who is actually guy nr 1:-P) towards i girl, it would defeniately be because i was into her. In inTj forums, ive read about many enfp saying/ complainig about the inTj not noticing when they are flirting. I dont know about you and inFj's, could it be the same here?

The most obvious indicator on me being into someone is that i give the other person a lot of time, like sending those messeges your friend did(probably goes for most people though:-p). But anyway thats just me, and i often behave similar to close friends and girls im interested in.

Woho, my first post on this amazing forum. Kalina, has anything happened since your last post? Would be interesting to hear:-) hope everything works out great for you!
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