What are the qualities about INFJs that make them attractive, as friends or otherwise?
Do they have secret powers?
Do they have secret powers?
Wouldn't that be for the people who feel the attraction to us to answer?What are the qualities about INFJs that make them attractive, as friends or otherwise?
What do you mean by that? I think INFJs tend to have fairly lofty standards and seem to require specific types of attention.I'm an ENFP, and I have a sister who is an INFJ. I've also dated many girls but I only ever fell in love with one, who I believe is an INFJ. I love them both very much for how committed they are to certain ideals, and how they're almost naturally selfless... ENFP's are usually idealistic and require lots of affection, and INFJ's just tend to satisfy everything they want in a person. Those traits make them attractive to everybody, but especially to other idealistic personalities like my own.
I think I already heard this, but I don't get why? Why are they a weakness? I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the whole INTJ feeling disconnect thing.Speaking as an INTJ, I can say that I AM emotional on the inside. However, for INTJs emotions are our weakness and we are extremely cognizant of this.
It's just me, but how can you be oblivious? I think I get the suspicious part. We're more alike then we think... I think XD I also like to avoid decisions based on emotions, but the thing is with me it's really hard to separate the two, and emotions have such a strong influence it's sometimes hopeless to resist, even if I know I'm wrong.For that reason I am always either oblivious to or deeply suspicious of my own feelings.
I wonder how come some people disregard their actions if they have emotions to them, and other disgard them if they don't. Each type thinks that otherwise their actions would be wrong, yet neither are wrong, both (can) live nicely... Bear in mind that there is a difference between appearing emotional on the outside and making decisions based on emotions. To go back to the framework mentioned above:
INFJ - cold on outside, warm and fuzzy on the inside
INFP - warm and fuzzy inside and out
INTP - warm on the outside, hard as a rock inside
INTJ - cold and hard inside and out
Clearly INFJs are not often outwardly demonstrative of their emotions, but on the inside I suspect that they rely on their emotions a great deal in decision making.
INFPs are usually quite demonstrative of their emotions on the outside and they probably base their decisions on these emotions.
INTPs can appear to be demonstrative of their emotions even when, as I suspect, these emotions play only a marginal role in their decision making.
INTJs rarely ever demonstrate any emotions outwardly and internally we actively avoid making decisions based on emotion (usually with considerable success).
This does not mean we do not possess emotions or are unaffected by them. I feel them quite deeply, but because I am aware of their potential to mislead me, I deliberately attempt to suppress and ignore them.
Not just a theory, a masterful critical hit! I never expected someone to read us so well. I think longer term INFJs may value stability at least in terms of emotions. However I think they've often got an incessant though secret need for spontaneity where they may appreciate more unpredictable emotional interaction (just a theory). Perennialurker: Do you think that INTJs can develop romantic obsessions? I've never seen this with the INTJs I know, but they may be excellent at hiding it.
The deep desire for learning and the superbly considered theories that follow in long rambling soliloquies (after perhaps a month of fumbling) make me get all Feey.
I've successfully contributed to the derailing of my own thread. Thanks for trying to save it though.
I think I can sometimes really be the "having your cake and eating it too" kinda guy. It's about somehow having everything you want. A relationship which you know is stable, but at the same time you can be yourself, and spontaneous with your partner. Similar with that emotion/thinking based decision making. Both are present, I'm torn between the two. Imagine both emotions and thinking to be equally important. It's hell.Agree, logically I think I need stability but to be honest there is a very strong part of me that longs for the spontaneous and a freedom from the controlled, pre-plan person that is generally me. However, long term I think I value overall stability more in a partner.
Dude! You're a freakin genius! Yeah, the fantasy of being an isfp taunts me all the time. I have this idealized dream of being one. I am also highly attracted to the ones I meet in both a romantic and friendship sense.
You wrote this a little over two years ago but it's so edifying for me to read this. My best friend is an INTJ and the fact that we're both male results in us arguing all the time about politics, religion, girls,...you name it. I know he respects what I have to say though and being four years younger I also know he looks up to me.At the same time, I find the reserved intellectual nature of INFJs (especially 5s) reassuring – with other feelers, there’s a sense in which I sometimes feel mismatched with them because we don’t have a lot in common. I’m cerebral and cold, they’re warm and practical, but INFJs are the best of both worlds. I have no qualms about admitting that my boyfriend is more intelligent than I am and I love to pick his brain about literally every single topic I can think of. Maybe I’m just spoiled to Ne, having both an ENFP best friend and an ENTP roommate, but there is this amazing depth and nuance about the way he thinks that I adore. I sometimes feel guilty with my ENP friends for being so one track minded sometimes because I know that they like to bounce around from one idea to the next, but my boyfriend is always willing to obsess about something with me and analyse it from as many perspectives as we possibly can and that's a lot of fun for me. I find him more alluring intellectually than literally anyone that I have ever known before and he enriches my life in a similarly superlative fashion. I love how much he loves to learn
Personality Relating to the INTP | MBTI Functions | Socionics Relationship | Socionics Relationship Summary | Latest YouTube Videos | You-Know Threads |
INFJ INFp | Benefactor | "These relations are asymmetrical. One partner, called the Benefactor, is always in a more favourable position in respect to the other partner who is known as Beneficiary. INFJ is the Benefactor to INTP, who is the Beneficiary. The Beneficiary thinks of the Benefactor as an interesting and meaningful person, usually over-evaluating them in the beginning. The Beneficiary can be impressed and delighted by their partner's behaviour, manners, thoughts and their ability to easily deal with things that the Beneficiary conceives as complicated." [...] | YouTube | You're an INFJ When.. |
Yes, I do feel like I'm playing with fire. I'm not trying to get rid of the INFJ (unless I have to). I'm just trying to control the situation. I'm not sure there is any place left to go from here. My usual solution is to ignore the person for a while. That seems to push the INFJ's buttons more than anything else. Perhaps because they try to break through to my isolation chamber (as a way of "helping").I'm the go-to friend for complex psychological problems, because I'm willing to listen and dissect long stories and turn them into a cohesive behavioral analysis. ...So if you're trying to figure out your INFJ specifically to get rid of him/her, he/she might figure out your plan and be incredibly resentful of such intentions. Fair warning. Re: Being judgmental -- that probably applies to me. My sister, for example, diagnoses me as judgmental sometimes and it hurts me because she doesn't realize that just because I have a certain moral code doesn't mean I can't be understanding or empathetic toward people who don't follow a similar code. It annoys me when people don't try to understand me, or don't see/acknowledge the complexities under which I operate, because I spend a great deal of time thinking about how they operate.
I wish my ENFP grew up to be a raver. (They were sure capable of releasing strobe lights when I was trying to sleep). disappoint.on a side note. if you can still find it online, the "tomagothi" flash game is a funny spoof. if you keep turning the lights on and off like a strobe light when it wants to sleep and give it uppers/stimulants, and you don't kill it, it grows up to be a raver! been there. i wanted to call her my tomagotchi. dating myself a little here. for those who do not what a tomagotchi is. it is a little keychain sized LCD toy that requires you to attend to it at all random hours of the day so it can grow from an egg to whatever creature it becomes. it requires you to feed it, water it, make it sleep, exercise it, you get the idea.
The implication is that if you haven't been told all the information (which obviously you haven't and never will be), that people are being dishonest to you.Ista, I have listened to all your thoughts...While, I understand that I do only know what you have told me (a HUGE INFJ weakness, we must rely on people's honesty)..
Is there only one truth? Just asking?I feel I know enough to help you. I'm going to tell you the truth and most people say they want the truth but they don't.
It's not. If I introspect into myself any more I'm going to disappear into my belly button.This situation is more about you and less about this "INFJ". More introspection is needed.
Yes, I agree. Though I do not see people as roles. I try to go with the flow. That's why my desire is to understand our interaction from a personality perspective (that is, to achieve an understanding of not the INFJ and not the INTP, but the connection between them).You must decide what role, if any, you want this person to play in your life.
That's good advice, and reinforces what someone else said here too, so thanks for that. It is something I've learned from this thread.You must clearly define that role and effectively communicate it to your "INFJ". This INFJ does NOT do well with MIXED SIGNALS...I will employ whatever method needed to get to the bottom of someone's behavior.
Sorry, not good enough to qualify as INFJ. It just simply isn't. Most INFJ's can't even recognize another INFJ, that is a fact.
One online personality test just doesn't cut it - FOR ANYONE TRYING to figure out their personality type. I have had 3 personality tests conducted by a liscenced psychologist. Also, I have taken online tests. I have also taken the Eneagram.
I'm not an expert on Myers-Briggs, however, I know enough to say more research is needed into this person's personality. To complicate things further, we have shadow functions. INFJ's are ENTP's when under stress. So just because "he has INFJ written all over him", well means nothing. He could be ESTP under stress.
OH, and we haven't even started talking about personality disorders...Nope, your methods of "personality diagnosis" are just not accurate.
INFJ's are the RAREST personality type. Statistically, meeting an INFJ, isn't easy - PERIOD. He might be INFJ but basing your decisions on how to approach this person... Well, put it this way, if you were a surgeon, there is NO WAY IN HELL that I would let you operate on me because you just haven't done your homework.