Long time, no see. I hope all of you are well.
So I was thinking to myself the other day that it’s sort of strange that I’ve never created a thread on my two favourite topics: INFJ men and gender. I’ve said before that I’ve always felt that as a female INTJ, INFJ men are kind of the yin to my yang when it comes to being quiet, intellectual, and seriously genderbendy and my INFJ boyfriend reaffirms that to me almost every day. But still, I’m an intellectual blackhole when it comes to the things that interest me and so I would love to hear about what your experiences have been as men, either presently or growing up, and your relationship to masculinity.
My personal thoughts on the matter are that there is a lot to be gained for men and women both by relaxing the current definition of masculinity, that masculinity doesn’t have to be a negative quality characterised by aggression or competition or dominance, and that my INFJ boyfriend is without doubt the best, most confident, masculine man that I have ever had the privilege of knowing.
I’m not really looking to have a specific laundry list of questions answered, but here are a few suggestions to get your heads in the right place:
-What does masculinity/being a man mean to you?
-What is your relationship with masculinity?
-Would you consider yourself to be a masculine person? Would others?
-How do you experience your gender?
-What was your experience with masculinity as a child – and especially as an adolescent? Have you ever felt pressured to be more masculine than you were naturally?
-What kinds of strengths do you see yourself as having in comparison to “most men”? Weaknesses?
-Have your stereotypically ‘INFJ qualities’ helped or hindered you in your romantic relationships (with women, men or both)? In what ways?
Feel free to answer as many or as few as you like or meander outside of what I have suggested, completely up to you. Stories, anecdotes, and experiences are all welcome and appreciated. Male-bodied individuals who do not necessarily identify or experience themselves as men are also welcome to answer. I very much look forward to your responses!