[INFJ] When people don't take or like your advice...

When people don't take or like your advice...

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This is a discussion on When people don't take or like your advice... within the INFJ Forum - The Protectors forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; ... how do you feel, and what do you do? Do you continue talking about why they should take your ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    When people don't take or like your advice...

    ... how do you feel, and what do you do? Do you continue talking about why they should take your advice and why you are right, or do you leave it alone?

    It depends on the circumstances for me.
    When people reject my advice or help and indicate they don't really want or like my sympathy, sometimes I feel really shaken and rather hurt. Other times, I try to talk it out logically and hope the other person might understand where I'm coming from.
    Killbain thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I only offer advice when it is solicited, and it does not really bother me when someone refuses to take it. It does irritate me a bit when someone refuses to even try my advice, and then returns seeking advice on the very same subject.
    sleepyhead, Killbain, Agape and 4 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    When they ask for an opinion or advice and don't take it, it pisses me off to no end. I've even been scoffed at a few times when they didn't like my answer. It gets really annoying really fast. My brother is good at doing this and once the problem escalates, he comes back asking for more advice he may or may not take.

    Seriously, don't ask if you don't want an honest answer.

  4. #4
    Unknown Personality

    It doesn't bother me when someone decides not to take my advice (after all, it's just my opinion and their life to live).

    But it does annoy me when they flat-out reject or criticize my advice. Why did you bother asking me for my opinion anyway? And if you don't like my advice, you don't have to take it, but there's no need to ridicule or criticize or reject me for suggesting something. It's insensitive.
    HorribleAesthete, Killbain and Apdenoatis thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors

    There's a saying in my country

    "Those that bargain are those that buy"

    People that haggle and criticize what you offer are often the people seeking real advice, so I'd tailor some quick defenses beforehand if I feel it's a cause worth taking that extra mile for.
    Killbain and Apdenoatis thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Frankly, it's their call. Like @HorribleAesthete I only offer advice when it's asked for, and the recipient can take or leave it. I always try to offer it in the form "If it were me" rather than "You should / ought to"
    Btmangan, HorribleAesthete, Zech and 3 others thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFJ - The Protectors

    I hate to think it but when people don't like the taste or take my advice, I think they are being unwise and like being comfortable. This is only goes towards people I am close to enough to feel I should give advice. If it's just general advice to general people, I don't mind much what they do with it.
    Apdenoatis thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by HorribleAesthete View Post
    I only offer advice when it is solicited, and it does not really bother me when someone refuses to take it. It does irritate me a bit when someone refuses to even try my advice, and then returns seeking advice on the very same subject.
    I'm the same way. I'll only give advice if someone asks or hints for it. But I do get frustrated when people ask for advice, don't follow it, and then come back to me to tell me about all their problems. I'm usually very eager to listen to people, but it can get emotionally draining after a while.

    For example, I had a really strange situation where a friend of mine kept having sex with his ex-girlfriend. He kept talking to me about how he needed to stop because it wasn't healthy, and I agreed that he should. But then the next time I would talk to him, he would always bring up the fact that they had sex again, and the mountain of problems that it created between them.
    HorribleAesthete and treeghost thanked this post.

  9. #9
    Unknown Personality

    Few come back "crying" and say next time they will.. but most of them listen to me. Except for one, he is "defying" me on purpose. :P I love that abt him! Also I love the moment when he realizes he should have listened :P ( Mwahahahahaha... )

  10. #10
    INTP - The Thinkers

    This happens to me often, especially when I've unintentionally tampered with someone's emotions. However, emotion doesn't always utilize logic to justify it's purpose... But I realize that specific emotions are never permanent, so after time away from the individual they may humble themselves to the point of accepting your honest advice. It depends on the person's maturity, stress level, and motivation to absorb your opinions. If they've shown time and time again that they persistently reject your wisdom, then I abort the thought of continuing to advise them. You can lead a horse to water, but can't make it drink.... Sometimes I'm hurt by this, but worthwhile advice is awarded to those who deserve it


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