[Finntheirish]

I was curious what gender most INFJ's seem to be most comfortable around or hang out the most with. I, from the time I can remember, have always had female friends. I mean I have had some male friends throughout my day, but the vast majority have been females.

I don't want to say this and come off wrong, but most people typically associate INFJ's with a feminine characteristic. Not to say that INFJ guys are all girly guys because that is not the case for me at all. I just tend to associate better with Women. I wonder if INFJ women also choose to relate to other women or if they choose to relate to guys. In this case, the theory might become even more complex because then it would appear that each gender chooses to hang out with the other gender more, and personality may not affect that. It could also mean that INFJ's choose to hang out with the opposite gender while maybe ESTPs may choose to hang out with their own genders. From my experience most of my friends claim they either hang out with each gender equally or their own gender more often then the opposite. I feel kind of different because I do choose to have more female friends than male friends.

[nosce]

I typically tend to get along better with men, because of their humor and more rational and relaxed nature.

[GoodOldDreamer]

Well, seeing as how all of the folks on my friends list here are women, and most of my co-workers and supervisors and customers at work happen to be women, ... I'd say the answer's fairly obvious.

[Nicole Hobbs]

I usually hang out more with men. Our interests seem more similar.

[saibot]

I associate more with men, but that is not by choice, but simple happenstance. Apart from that I guess I do not have a preference.

Although... might be a slight preference for ladies, but I am heterosexual, so that might not have anything to do with being an INFJ.

[Opabinia]

My closest friends have always been guys. I have never had a long-lasting friendship with a girl/woman.. yet. It just breaks down at some point.

In socionics theory, INFJs, ENFJs, ISTPs, and ESTPs are grouped together (known as Beta's). Beta's observe power structures and social hierarchies and so naturally would want to be in a position where they are at or near the top. So, for the INFJ, where others are taking the spotlight, we sink away because it is not our place to steal attention from someone else. However, if we can establish ourselves at the top of a social hierarchy, we will, and we will do just fine there (hence why we can become "leaders" if push comes to shove).

All this to say that, I pretty much think that INFJ women would view (not consciously.. maybe subconsciously) other women as competition in a group setting. And if we don't view them as competition, then we probably don't consider them that interesting. Thirdly, I get close to guys easily because they like talking to a girl. There isn't that impetus for us Beta girls to talk to each other. Also, Beta's often use flirting to establish a relationship, and that's can be a bit awkward with same-gender relations.

[StElmosDream]

Depends; previously I only ever made male friends (accept one during further education college) and found this was ok for quite a while, now it seems things have started to change in the last year where I just don't enjoy male company that much any more since accepting I was an INFJ sensitive male not an INTJ rationalist. These days I just find that being around woman more has a way of balancing things out socially, moreso in my case when I struggle to relate 'male interests' and would rather talk about meaningful things past superficial talk no one will remember - without needing to define pecking orders in the group as much.

[ohnoezitsjoez]

when it comes to majority of my "levels of friendships" it can be either gender.

when it comes to personal friends, those who actually get to know all of me, these few precious souls have been female. i can open up to a close female friend easier, especially with these deeper things. also I want to open up to a best friend, and I want my SO to be a best friend. it all links together like that.

I can't imagine being that emotionally intimate and open with another guy.

[petitpèlerin]

Fascinating topic! And even more fascinating replies! So, I'm not the only one. Honestly, this is the biggest mystery of my life and I wonder about it a lot but I never can quite figure it out. I have always preferred to be around boys and men.

In socionics theory, INFJs, ENFJs, ISTPs, and ESTPs are grouped together (known as Beta's). Beta's observe power structures and social hierarchies and so naturally would want to be in a position where they are at or near the top. So, for the INFJ, where others are taking the spotlight, we sink away because it is not our place to steal attention from someone else. However, if we can establish ourselves at the top of a social hierarchy, we will, and we will do just fine there (hence why we can become "leaders" if push comes to shove).

All this to say that, I pretty much think that INFJ women would view (not consciously.. maybe subconsciously) other women as competition in a group setting. And if we don't view them as competition, then we probably don't consider them that interesting. Thirdly, I get close to guys easily because they like talking to a girl. There isn't that impetus for us Beta girls to talk to each other.

Fascinating again. In a group situation this very much describes what happens with me. In a new situation, I always seek out the man or men I consider most wise and/or competent (not necessarily who's in charge or most popular with everyone else, but who I personally respect the most), and I seek to connect with him/them. However, the older I get, the more I'm interested in trying to go beyond just this and connect with different people who interest me or who express an interest in me.

I don't usually seek out female friends but find them when we find ourselves in situations together. My few close female friends have been NFs (of all types, and a couple very bright and interesting ESFJs); so we see things similarly and can talk about almost anything. But I just don't get as personally invested in those relationships as I do with men. I've never really understood girl bonding the way most girls seem to do it. It just doesn't "do it" for me. It's just very important to me to feel closely connected to the men who are important to me.

[TimeIsLove]

Generally, I gravitate toward the company of a man. I've always been that way. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up, and I'm not interested in girly things. I also have a subconsciously bitter perception of females because I didn't have a great experience in adolescence within female social circles. I went to a private school where friend selection was not large, and there were not a lot of girls I related to there. Plus, I read and rode horses all the time, so that didn't help. Though I am an INFJ (I've gotten this result on several online MBTIs and also on a professionally administered one), I am only an F by a few percentage points. When I took the MBTI at my career development center, the administrator told me there may be circumstances where I might seem more like an INTJ. Many INFJs have a well-developed Ti, so perhaps this played a part in elevating the T scale on my MBTI so greatly. I might seem more like a "thinker," and I may not use my Fe as warmly as other INFJs might. Growing up closely around Ts also may have influenced me to keep things cerebral and logical. I'm explaining all of this because I've read it is typically men who show higher elevations on the T scale on the MBTI. Perhaps I generally feel more comfortable in the company of men because my Ti is well-developed, and therefore I relate to a greater number of men.

However, I am after all an INFJ, as I am highly emotional and in definite need of validation and understanding. I am definitely more a catalyst than a theorist. While I feel more comfortable around men generally speaking, nothing replaces or overcomes the connection I have with my very few like-minded female friends. After harassing my best friend circle to take the MBTI, I discovered that they are: INFJ, INFJ, INFJ, ENFP, & ESTJ. I've also gotten along well with ENTPs. See a pattern? Look how many of my best girlfriends are INFJs! When I come across a female who is like-minded, we just seem to stick to each other. It's my female friend circle that empowers me and makes me feel like I can conquer the world, not my male company. I just have to find the right females, and that is much more difficult for me (personally) to do. My relationships with the INFJs and the ENFP, though it took me a while to find them, began instantaneously and haven't stopped since. They just got me, and I got them, which provided us with a mutually satisfying feeling. Opabinia said something interesting things about INFJs and competition. I do detect competition between my INFJ friends and I, but we have such fantastic understanding of each other that it seems to cancel the negatives. My ESTJ friend is (according to socionics) a duality relation for me. She became my friend in first grade and we were friends all throughout high school and college. The friendship developed slowly but over time we've only become closer. We're very different, but we understand each others intentions, and never question each other's motives. I trust her perhaps more than I trust anyone.

So, to sum everything up, I find myself gravitating towards men more often, but nothing can overcome the relationships I have with my few like-minded girlfriends. If I actually met a man who had the same type as my girlfriends...you take it from there. :)